Cooked Pumpkin Pie Mathematics: Competitions: Texture: Day 40 Consequence Dimension

  

About Writing/Blogging

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Store

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SELF-FORGIVENESS

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My main Blog Site:

http://junejourneytolife.blogspot.com/

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The Mathematics of Life  

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This is a Continuation of  :

http://juneroca.com/home/about/mathematics-of-life/pumpkin-pie-mathematics/

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I can see how my fear 

of mushy texture 

which i thought about,  imagined in my mind etc.

created a consequential outflow

where the body was resourced 

to transform substance from nutrients

to energy for the mind 

and in 'my without' as this world system

restaurants prepare food

 to cater for the desire of people

for different textures

to satisfy the mind of the customers 

where plants and animals are being 

slaughtered for food and profit

and within that

use the animal and plant bodies 

to entertain the mind within texture

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My Self -forgiveness 

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself 

to create as consequence the food industry where 

people use food to entertain the mind 

as 'restaurant owners/people who prepare food' 

making sure 

that food being served has all the textures that would satisfy 

the customer who eats and pay for the food

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I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to 

exist in an unequal monetary system

disregarding people who does not have money

yet making food available with different textures 

for us, the elite  who has money 

 to entertain the mind to be 'happy'

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I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself 

'as the employer'/restaurant owners

for not assisting in establishing a world that truly honors life based on equality

supporting the current system based on inequality

 slaughtering plants and animals

to sell 

to earn money to survive within self-interest

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I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself 

as 'pumpkin pie factory owners'

to make many pumpkin pies to feed 

people who has money

who celebrates Thanksgiving and other events

disregarding those who does not have money

to buy a pumpkin pie

surviving within self-interest 

for the purpose of earning profit

not realizing this is not what is best for all but what is best for me only

rather than assist in establishing a world based on equality

where all can have food on the table

standing for what is best for all life
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I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to

as a 'chef'

 make food that has different textures

 designed to make profit 

and entertain the mind of people

to have 'positive mind energy experiences'

not seeing/realizing food is there to assist the body

to survive optimally

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I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself 

'as the restaurant employee', to earn money 

to survive in a world of inequality

 making food for people

to make them 'happy'

to earn money to survive

yet not assisting in establishing a 

 a world that truly honors life based on equality

to birth life on earth

so slaughter of plants and animals for profit will stop

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I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself 

to join food competitions as a competitor 

preparing food

 in food competitions

with different textures

so the judges will like the food

so i can win the competition

so i as the evil me

can have money and fame

 in this world system of inequality

slaughtering animals and plants

 to  prepare food 

to win a food competition 

making sure the food i am preparing has all the textures 

 the judges like

 within self-interest 

only thinking about how i can be popular 

so people will look up to me as the 'best chef'

not seeing and realizing that food 

as animal meat and plant meat

are animals and plants giving up their lives 

to assist the human body to survive optimally  

in oneness and equality

where the body of humans is being given value = Life

where the body of nature is being given a value equal to = Life

where the body of animals is being given a value = Life

where the body of plants is being given a value = Life
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I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to say 'yes' to being a judge
in food competitions

where i judge the expression/manifestation 
of life as plants, animals etc.

and give them a value that is more than or less than life
not realizing this is abuse of life

as they are here to support the body to survive 

not realizing that when i give  manifestations/expressions of life 

a value greater than or less than  Life

 i am blaming the physical/substance for 

expressing the way it is 

 perceiving the expression/manifestation within my mind's eyes 

judging these manifestations/expressions 

according to how they look, smell and taste 

and how i believed they should look, smell or taste 

based on self-interest which is  

according to what will give me 

'the most positive energy experience'

or 'happiness'

without considering what is best for all life

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I commit myself to blog about how animals and plants etc. are 

being used to entertain the mind

where people do not assist in establishing

 a world that truly honors life based on equality

where people do not put a stop in slaughtering plants and animals for profit

where people does not stand for what is best for all 

and create life - where all can live as equals on the face of the earth 

in this one Life forevermore

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Pumpkin Mathematics

Giving Mind Values as + and - Values

Vs

Giving Value Equal To Life

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'I have given the mushy texture of the pumpkin pie a value = - 10

where i did not see

 that i am giving values to different textures 
to have a positive energy experience

where food with different textures  is being given a value = +10

as it gives me happiness

as when i taste soft and crunchy textures in the food i eat
 i become happy'

where 

'a combination of soft and crunchy texture = +10'

and so i accumulate 'positive values'

which gives me 'more positive experiences' 

which gives me 'more happiness experiences'

as in

'soft texture + crunchy texture  = positive or happy mind experience'

so chefs prepare food that has different textures

to entertain the mind of customers 

doing it for profit

where 

'food with different textures  = more customers = higher profit = +10 

food with mushy texture without crunch = less  customers = low profit = -10'

where' +10 and -10' are mind values that are not real

as i can see using common sense 

that we are all parts of life with equal value 

as our physical/body is made from the same substance all are made of

so i commit myself to 

giving 'texture' 

which is an expression/manifestation 

of Life

a value 

equal to Life

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I commit myself to when and as i see myself wanting to join competitions as a competitor

I stop

I breathe

I do not participate

I realize this is me desiring to classify manifestations/expressions

according to my mind's eyes 

where i do not see the consequential outflow of this on the body 

resourcing the physical (for nutrients) 

and transforming them to energy for use by the mind

to be able for me to go inside my mind 

jumping from one compartment to the next to be 'happy'

which requires energy 

looking for flaws and perfection in the food i am judging

not realizing that this is how

 i as the mind

perceive manifestations/expressions of life

as an individual separate from life

not realizing i am part of life 

so in essence i am equal to all parts of Life

so i bring myself here and assist myself to 

accept and allow me to have an equal and one relationship with the 

physical/body where i will be able to see

in an equal and one seeing

the equality that exist as the body/physical 

made from the same substance all bodies/physicals

are made of

here in this physical existence

 and assist myself to accept and allow me to see

 what nutrients the body needs

to survive optimally

-

I commit myself to when and as i see myself 

being asked to judge a competition

i stop

i breathe

i stop participating

I realize this is me perceiving myself as superior from Life 

where within my mind i judge Life

according to my beliefs

which come from what i heard or seen 

which i took as my truth 

not considering the interdimensionality of Life

which my mind's eyes cannot see 

not realizing that i have to use common sense 

and see from a physical seeing 

that Life expresses itself in so many ways

as different expressions/manifestations

so instead of judging Life

all i have to do  is bring myself back here

and give Life 

 its real/physical value

a value equal to Life

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I Can Prepare 20 Meals in 1 Day Alone' 'I Am The Best' Day 25 'I Don't Care' 'Guiness World Records'

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About Writing/Blogging

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Store

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SELF-FORGIVENESS

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I am doing 20 raw food meals today for the girlfriend of my client. The thing is, i received this order only yesterday.

When in this 'situation', i tend to turn the kitchen into a stage, so to speak.

I created a relationship with time, where i have this idea that when i finish the 20 meals and deliver them as i 'promised'- which is tomorrow at about 6am, i will'feel good', believing that 'i am good when i finish so many tasks in so little amount of time'.

I will have to stay awake all night and maybe have a 30 min to 1 hr nap tonight to be able to finish preparing all this by myself.

My partner is working overtime tonight so that leaves me with no 'kitchen hand' assisting me in food preparation. If he's not tired when he arrives home at about 9PM or so, he can maybe assist me to buy some food and chop some stuff.

I connected this to the 'best chef' competition at the 'food network' tv show where i go through the ups and downs of 'beating the time' to emerge as the 'winner' in the end

This is the opposite polarity, i would say, of my 'postponement' character, which is the 'i can do it now - i can do things faster than anyone can' character where i believe, that 'because i can do it so fast, 'i am the best'!

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Self-forgiveness:

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to define myself within the 'i can do it now - i can do things faster than anyone can' character, where within this is fear of being normal, as i have defined 'normal as inferior' and being 'above normal as superior', so desiring to be superior - as a cop out, not wanting to face my fear of being inferior/death of the ego/not existing - not seeing and realizing that the 'desire for the positive comes from a negative, as fear', and that desire for the positive requires resourcing the body/physical/substance for energy for the mind to exist as energy.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to fear being normal as i have defined being normal as inferior - so desire to be superior within doing things fast - where i miss the moment - as who i am here as the breath - because my attention is on winning - within what i do - not seeing and realizing it is about, who i am in what i do

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to think about winning within my mind - separating from what is here as the physical to create an alternate reality in my mind - like a stage - where i have time as my competitor racing against it - within the 'i challenge time'/'i can do it'/'competition' character

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to race against time within my mind, defining myself within the 'i challenge time'/'i can do it'/'competition' character - judging time as more than myself and essentially, judging me as less than myself as i race against it

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to continue existing as the 'competing with time' character and be self-dishonest within - as the evil me, separating myself from time, within my mind where no one sees the real me only wanting to survive as i, me and myself within self-interest - establishing a relationship with time - not seeing who i am as equal to time, and instead, keep this relationship with time going for a 'positive energy experience' which i get when i win and finish so many tasks in so short a time - and getting a 'negative energy experience when i lose or not make it - defining myself within the opposite polarity as the 'i don't care',  'whatever!' or 'apathetic' character

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to define myself within the 'i don't care' character in my relationship to time - as i compete with it within my mind - coming from fear of being normal as the 'inferior'/fear of not existing character - not wanting to exist without a cycling through having the 'positive energetic boost' and the 'negative and neutral energetic experience' - which i defined as life - the opposite of which i defined as 'death' - not realizing that i am not defined by energy - not seeing the common sense as who i am as a part of the whole - as all life, not realizing i do not need a 'positive energy boost' to be life , as i am here as breath in a body moment by moment - not realizing, that i can just move me and simply live as who i am as equal to all that exist - as life.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to imagine a picture within my mind - sweaty and unkempt - tired and having the last surge of energy within my body - 'almost dead' - but was able to finish so many tasks in a very short time -  believing that i have emerged as winner, in an image of someone putting my hand up and saying 'the winner!' and then hearing my name. I then have this picture within my mind define me as 'the best', 'i am alive', 'i have evolved from being a normal inferior person to being a superior person' - and within this 'feeling of being  alive' - desiring to be eternally alive within always winning in my 'magined competition against time - not realizing i am here as the breath in every moment, in/as the physical/body.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to have internal conversations within my mind when i am faced with this situation , having the following backchats:

'This is a short notice, can i make it or cannot i make it?
I can make it, i know i can.
I just have to assess the situation, gather all recipes, get everything i need - spices, veggies, fruits, nuts etc. in the kitchen and take control and give it my all.
I am confident i can do this!
But i do not have the exact recipes of the other meals
Fuck, i forgot how i did the other meals before,
I could have written the recipes so now i can make them easy
Oh well, i really don't care',
'Whatever!'

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to use words within my mind separate from me where i use words in my internal conversations to figure out how to win in a battle with time - which i created in an alternate reality within my mind - never really real - separating from the real physical reality that is here as the breath in this moment in/as the physical/body

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to react in excitement when i heard the big order then reacted in fear that i will not be able to finish all 20 meals on time - and then be apathetic - as i cycle through the 'positive and then the negative energetic experiences' as different characters within my mind, an alternate reality that is not real.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to, as the evil me, use the mind to manipulate the body to move fast and quick and keep the heart beating fast when faced in a situation like this - where i receive a big order that is not ordinarily done, regularly or weekly - to justify my desire to win in my imagined relationship with time.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to not care about the body when i am faced with a situation where i can earn money, and all i see is how i can finish the dishes so i can earn that money - not seeing that the body is being compromised when i do things in a hurry as i race against time - not realizing that i can be here as breath in every moment doing what i have to do - making sure that all the recipes are recorded and can be accessed by me anytime, perfected and recorded in how i do each dish step by step - in detail and what i need to buy from the store etc.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to create the 'competing with time' character in my 'within'- as my mind, and create the consequence as this world system in my 'without' - as the Guiness Book of World records, the Food network competitions, and all other competitions in this world - competing with time or with another manifestation for the 'energetic experience' of it so we can feel we have evolved as more than normal beings - as if we are all alive - not seeing and realizing the inequality within it all - that the playing field is unequal as we have unequal opportunity to get the basic necessities to survive - to instead look at the point of equality and what is best for all, and create a world that truly honors life.

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Commitment to Correction

I commit myself to when and as i see myself competing against time - doing all i can to:

*Finish the 20 dishes in 1 day
*Thinking about it in my mind
*Imagining i can finish it and be 'the best'
*Having Internal conversations
*Reacting with excitement, then doubt and then apathy
*Using the mind to manipulate the body to justify my desires
*Creating consequence
*Doubting that i can finish it
*Blaming and justifying whatever i did not take self-responsibility for - to someone or something else
*Being apathetic and not caring whether i do it on time or not,

I stop

I breathe

I realise that i have formed a relationship with time - so to assist myself to instead, have an equal and one relationship with time - slow myself down, bring myself to the physical, as what is here and get the materials ready - all recipes ready and move me to finish the task.

I commit myself to get my recipe records organized even to the small detail, so that i can take self-responsibility in finishing the task without having to hurry, where i become 'unaware' of who i am here  - to instead develop a real relationship with the task i am doing and stand equal to the food i am preparing.

I commit myself to through writing, self-forgiveness and self-corrective application - assist myself to stop my polarized/energetic relationship with time and establish a real equal and one relationship with time.