Are we really creating this world?
Who else will create this world but us who are here living in this world?
We mirror 'our within' - as the mind in 'our without' - as this world system
So i am doing self-forgiveness for creating the weight loss industry through desiring to look good - slim, beautiful and healthy - which is my idea of beauty and health within my mind based on what i see and hear from the media - fueled by my fear of not looking good, where instead of forgiving myself from creating this fear in my mind, i instead run away from this fear to try to satisfy my desire to look good and feel good - which is a mirror of what is happening in the weight loss industry. So, i am correcting myself in my living.
In this blog, i am looking at my desire to look good.
What is Self-forgiveness?
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to participate in the design of fear of survival
- as ugliness -as beauty -as form - as energy
fear being ugly,
fear not being liked and fear being inferior
believing that if i become ugly people will not like me, will laugh at me, resist me,
will not read about me, will not want to hear what i say, will not want to see me
and will regard me as inferior to them
So desiring to be beautiful, good-looking and superior to others within how i look
believing that if i become good-looking, people will want to be with me, admire me,
will want to hear me, will want to see me, will look up at me and see me as superior
within this,
fearing survival as the beauty personality,
fearing death and fearing being alone
as the alternate version of me
within my mind
believing it is who i am
Instead of realizing
this is me trying to win within my mind
within an illusion of wholeness
The key is to realize that
i have to stop running away from my fear
by facing it
see how i created it
locate its origin point
so that i can take self-responsibility
forgiving myself for participating in it
every time i have a thought, imagination, backchat, reaction etc.
and correcting myself in that moment
rewriting the script of my life
from a starting point of self-interest
to standing for what is best for all
Through this, i forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to
doubt who i am
as the creator of my mind world
which is in conflict with the physical world
perceiving a split within myself
uncertain of whether i am the one who is winning within my mind
as i balance polarities from losing to winning, from ugliness to beauty
within an illusion of wholeness
or the one who is always 'losing' in this physical reality
trying to survive in a world of uncertainty, competition, suffering and poverty
Instead of realizing
i can stop creating this movie within my mind - this alternate reality within my mind
where i compare myself with others, compete with others etc.
by assisting in creating a world where survival is guaranteed - where all wins
and stop using words like 'quick weight loss' etc.
to sell my book
that i defined through the definition of others, the media etc. - within fear of survival
and redefine them as equal to my expression
where my story of how i assist others to see, change and stand
for what is best for all
is evident
in what i do and say
and remain here as the breath within this physical body
It is in walking out of the thoughts, imaginations, self talk, reactions etc.
which is fueled by my fear of ugliness or feeling bad
in every moment
and changing my words and deeds for what is best for the body
and everyone concerned
that i stop this mind pattern
realizing that i created it and so i can un-create it
Through this, i forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself
to have a thought of a picture of when i saw myself looking at my mom's
skin which is whiter than mine
feeling inferior
comparing the color of my skin to hers and my sister
believing that her skin is superior than mine
believing that darker skin color resembles dirt
and whiter skin resembles purity
Instead of realizing this is fuzzy logic
Through this, i forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to
have a thought of a picture of me looking at the mirror seeing my skin brown
connecting that to a memory of BT who was our house maid
when i was young
who i assigned a negative value to by seeing him
having a very dark skin, ugly, illiterate, coming from the mountains and poor
connecting this to a memory of how i assigned a negative value to people
living in the mountains
believing they are uncivilized
and a positive value to technology, civilization, culture and advancement
believing that they symbolize life
Instead of realizing this is me comparing him to me
judging myself as superior and him inferior
within my mind
so i commit myself to rather than compete with everyone within my mind
see individuals as who they are
looking at how they express themselves here in this physical existence
Through this, i forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to
imagine and evolve this picture into a moving picture - a motion picture
where i compare my external appearance to people i see on tv
to my mom, our maid, to my friends, to my sister and to everyone
and as i compare and judge myself as either inferior or superior
becoming jealous and competing with everyone
the evil me
always wanting to win within my mind
I commit myself to when and as i see myself comparing myself to others
stop - and take breathe, releasing the energy within my body
do a quick self-forgiveness until i am clear and correct myself
within this, i forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to
use my mind's eyes to see everyone in my world as my competitors
comparing, judging, being jealous
instead of using my physical eyes to see
who they really are within their expression of themselves here
realizing all of us are birthed here in this one life as equals
'dust to dust'
Through this, i forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to
have a positive backchat of :
'wow, my mom has got a very white and smooth skin
and have a negative backchat of:
'BT is ugly'
'BT smells cheap like his cigarettes'
'i want to be whiter'
'my skin is darker and therefore i am inferior to my mom and my sister'
within these backchats, resisting to release self from these mind-relationships
and abusing words within my mind
using them in sentences that does not support me in my living
Instead of seeing and realizing i do not need to hold on to these mind relationships
because this is a polarity crutch
which i use
to have the illusion of wholeness
within my mind
in an alternate reality that has no real physical existence
as i think, imagine, have backchats or self talks etc.
trying to run away from my fear
and trying to satisfy my desire
to be whiter
through wanting to bleach my skin
desiring to lose weight to be slim and sexy
desiring to dress up, buy shoes and bags
that will add on to my beauty image, and put on make-up
to animate the illusion of beauty
where within this,
I abuse the physical body
and transform physical energy
to mind energy
charging the words 'ugliness' and 'beauty'
and manipulating the body
to look in a way that i want to look externally
within self-interest.
Through this, i forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to
believe that i can be 'beautiful within'
by being spiritual
utilizing a guru, practicing meditation and yoga
that i believe will give me more value
believing that not many people can do these things
so by virtue of these being difficult to do
i have more potential to be unique and special when i do these activities
instead of seeing and realizing this is a mind illusion of beauty and eternal life
where the poor remains poor
It is to realize that real spirituality is about giving what i want to receive
so assist in creating a world where all live a dignified life
starting with the
Living Income Guaranteed
Through this i forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to
react in disgust
believing that i will have less chance to find a mate
if my skin color is darker than my mom's
believing that the reason why my dad married her is because
she has a white skin and a slim body
and so believe that it will be difficult for me to find a man like my dad
Instead of realizing that relationships are not about external appearances
it is about walking with another as an equal
expressing oneself
assisting the other as self
to 're-create' and rewrite oneself
as one that stands for what is best for all always
Through this, i forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to
as the hands - manipulate my hands to beautify my face to make it look
good to manifest my desire
manipulating myself to use hand movement to beautify myself to have more face value
believing that i have little worth or face value
so use make-up to have an illusion that 'i am beautiful'
and use weight loss to animate
the illusion of having a slim, sexy and curvaceous body
Instead of seeing and realizing that the hands can also express itself here
as part of the body for what is best for all
so i can use it for that purpose
realizing that the body is an organism expressing itself here
supporting me to express myself here
so, instead of abusing it through altering its appearance
believing my looks can be enhanced to project a 'better looking me'
through make-ups, clothes, diets etc.
I stop
I stabilize myself as breath
direct the feelings and emotions that arise within me
and release them
remaining here
aware of my physical body, my movement, my behavior
correcting myself moment by moment
Through this, i forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to
- as the facial muscles
manipulate myself to smile to others
so i can get a smile back
believing that a smile signifies life
Instead of seeing and realizing a smile is a physical expression
and not a mind expression
and that life is here
reminding myself that i am the breath within this body
living and expressing myself here
Through this, i forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to
use my mind's eyes to see others as beautiful or ugly
paying attention only to their external appearance
Instead of using my mind's eyes to see others as who they are - as individuals expressing themselves here
as the breath within a body
Through this, i forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to
create a
consequence outflow in 'my without'
within spirituality
of beauty and eternal life in heaven
and eternal suffering and pain in hell
the savior and the sinner etc.
Through this, i forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to
create consequence in 'my without' - within relationships
where abuses are committed in the name of dating and marriage
where beauty is used to attract others, be desired by others, and have sex with others
which is a mind game
that needs energy
where the body being the powerhouse is being resourced
like a laptop using electricity flowing from the socket plugged in the wall
abusing the body - through taking energy from it
Through this, i forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to
create consequence in 'my without' - within the money system
The Weight loss Industry
The Weight Gain and Weight Maintenance Industry
prostitution, beauty competitions
food contests, Hollywood TV and Movie industries etc.
which mirrors my desires in 'my within' as the mind
where food items are being judged as either good or bad
creating different diets for money and profit to satisfy our desires
ads impulsing our desires in exchange for a promise of a better 'future'
not realizing that what is happening is
i am judging myself within how i look or feel
based on a past memory which i connected a fear label to
and projecting these judgments to the food i eat
instead of seeing and realizing that food items are here to support our body to survive
where people try to win food competitions
to evolve their idea of themselves
not seeing and realizing that plants and animals are sacrificing themselves for us to survive
they are not here for us to use in competitions
to win or evolve ourselves
where tv or movie personalities
are being used for advertising beauty products
which impulse peoples desire to look good and feel good
for money and profit - the same desires that i try to satisfy to feel good about myself
within my mind
Instead of seeing and realizing that
this is a holographic universe
where i am the creator and the created
and as such
i am creating the very thing that i resist
so instead of creating consequence that is not best for all within a starting point of
self-interest, stand for what is best for all
realizing that essentially, this is what is best for me
Through this, i forgive myself to
blame the physical for creating ugliness
creating inequality in this world
some looking ugly and fat
while some looking fit and beautiful
giving a positive and a negative value to how we look externally
utilizing comparison, judgment and jealousy - to compete to win
instead of realizing that
I created them within my mind
by seeing through my mind's eyes
from a starting point of winning and losing
so i am the one to take self-responsibility
to forgive, rewrite and correct myself
Through this, i forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to
have the excuse that i have to survive as the beauty and ugliness personality/character
believing this will make me whole
Instead of realizing i have to face my fears instead of running away from them
so i can look at the origin of this fear
to take self-responsibility
forgive, rewrite and correct myself in my living and investigate real wholeness
Through this, i forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to
justify the excuse that i have to survive as the beauty and ugliness personality
believing that through
satisfying my desire to be beautiful i can be whole
Instead of realizing that this is an illusion of wholeness
and that real wholeness does not need separation from the source
So, i commit myself to instead of comparing others to my appearance externally
see that we are all birthed here
and accept and allow me to see them as equals walking this one life
expressing as individuals like me
I commit myself to instead of judging others as more than or less than me
see their expression of themselves as individuals and learn from them
I commit myself to instead of being jealous of others
trust myself and my expression
within my standing for what is best for all
and use my expression in the food industry
to live my corrections
and assist in creating a world that truly honors life
until all are free
