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Monday, September 30, 2013

Weight loss Part 5: Food, Work And How We Create Hollywood: Correcting Myself



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We have this belief  that Hollywood stars are popular
because they are slim, fit, beautiful/handsome and wealthy
and within this, believe that we will get attention like them too
when we become fit, slim, beautiful/handsome and wealthy

The stars have become our 'idea-l' personalities
The 'movie characters' vs the real characters living in this physical world




The idea of Hollywood is our way out of the
ugliness, suffering and abuse in this world
Even if this means we have to create
a clone of Hollywood personalities in our mind
to be fit and slim like them etc.
and within this desire to be slim and fit, beautiful, wealthy and popular
like the stars on television, in movies etc.
as they are being portrayed in the media
This is how we create in 'our within' - as the mind 

A Mind Hollywood




Interestingly enough,
we accept pictures in our mind
only of that which will give us hope
hoping for a 'positive' experience

We watch the Oscar award's
the red carpet
the expensive gowns worn by stars
the winners and the parties after the award
yet we do not want to watch what is going on outside the red carpet
where there is  a dust carpet - a real nature carpet 
rejecting to watch the homeless in the streets of Hollywood
and the poor unknown musicians basking in the streets of Hollywood
and everywhere in this world
because we connected poverty with a negative energy experience
that of pain and suffering
and because we believe in the law of attraction
we resist 'negative experiences'

not realizing that the 'positive' comes from the 'negative'
and that without one the other cannot exist
like the polarity of 'love and hate'

creating the Homeless in Hollywood
which comes with the
creation of the Hollywood Entertainment Industry

Having said this, we have to look at
who's earning money and making profit from these?

The media is earning money and profit.


"Consumers expect advertisers to come to the Oscars with their A-game," Andy McMillin, a Coca-Cola (KO -1.35%) vice president, tells The New York Times. The company will be featuring a new Diet Coke ad during the broadcast.

Oscar broadcaster ABC, part of Walt Disney (DIS -1.07%), is reportedly charging advertisers up to $1.8 million for 30 seconds of commercial time during the Oscars, the highest rate for the event since 2008.

I will be looking at Hollywood in this blog.

Beauty specialists are also making money out of Hollywood events?


Beauty specialists are also making a killing in Hollywood these days, as they get celebrities, would-be celebrities and people who just want to look like celebrities ready for their real or imagined red-carpet close-ups. 

You don't even have to be based in L.A. to win. Dermatologist David Colbert recently flew there from New York and rented a temporary office in Beverly Hills ahead of the Academy Awards. According to the The New York Times, Dr. Colbert's calendar in the month leading up to the Oscars "was already booked solid with 75 appointments...even though his 30-minute Triad Medical facial, which features microdermabrasion, laser toning and chemical peeling, starts at $800 a session." He's also making home visits on request.

What we create in 'our within' - in our mind world
we also create in 'our without' - as this physical world
which is this world system of money

We create a consequence outflow in whatever we accept and allow.

The following are my commitments
as my way of taking responsibility to correct myself

Join me in this Journey to Life

Below is my self-correction script
where i am rewriting myself to birth me here as someone
who stands for what is best for all

I am also providing a solution here from an economic perspective.

Commitments:


I commit myself to
instead of believing that stars are popular
being slim, fit, beautiful/handsome and wealthy

realize that this is my interpretation of  reality
where i defined body, size, posture and shape
within beauty, wealth and popularity
within my mind
and Not what is real

It is an illusion i created within my mind
as i run away from my mind perception of 'ugliness, suffering and pain'
to make me feel better - as a way of winning
because i know that there's a lot of abuse going on
and within us winning there's someone losing
in this competition to survive
in this unequal world system

deceiving myself and shielding my eyes from the truth

So, i commit myself to
when and as i see myself entertaining thoughts about this
I stop myself from participating
and stabilize myself as the breath within my body
and see what is real

I commit myself to not shield my eyes
from seeing the abuse in this world
so i can write and speak about them
in my blogs
so people will wake up to the truth
and assist in creating
a world where all will live in dignity

I commit myself to
instead of believing that when i become fit and slim
people will give me attention just like the stars
believing that this is the 'idea-l' life

where within this is the desire for
living a 'luxurious' life
that is perceived to be above normal
having a picture of normal life within my mind
that is characterized by pain and suffering
believing 'normal' work means boring and tiresome work
surviving paycheck after paycheck
and believing that the way to 'escape' this ordeal
is making it to Hollywood
which is perceived to be the 'idea-l' life
which is perceived as lots of money, parties, vacations
and 'adoring fans'

rather than seeing and realizing that
real work involves movement and self-expression
as who i am here
as the breath within my body
aware of my heartbeat when i move
and express myself as i work

Within this, I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself
to be aware of food items that i touch when i work with them in the kitchen
realizing that plants and animals are made up of the same substance as my body - the dust of the earth

I commit myself to work with awareness
being aware of the food i come in contact with
where they come from, how they arrived in my kitchen etc.

I commit myself to show how food is being abused in this world
within our thoughts of wanting to be fit as we run away from
our fear of being fat

putting my right hand on my chest
when and as i go to my mind world
to think, imagine, react etc.
of actors and actresses and the weekly gossip about them
realizing this is how i create it in 'my without'
as this world system
and so i stop creating it in 'my within' - as the mind

Directing myself to be aware of my heartbeat
as a physical here, reality check
being aware of my heartbeat
as it is the one heartbeat 
that we share together as one in this life

I commit myself to show that there's money for the elite
yet the Homeless are left without a decent home to shield their body from changes in temperature outside on the streets of Hollywood, and no money to buy food 

The Elite : Analysts say Oscar time injects tens of millions of dollars each year into local businesses and economies in LaLa Land --  some estimates run to $130 million -- pumping cash into everything from hotels to catering to transportation.

http://money.msn.com/now/post.aspx?post=6ba7aa69-f3d7-4009-8874-b15859f9e382


The Homeless:
When people imagine Hollywood, they envision streets filled with rich and famous people whose luxurious lifestyles are represented in movies. 
But one photographer ventured just a few miles away from the multi-million dollar mansions and film studios to experience a different side of the city.
Visiting some of Los Angeles' most down-trodden parts, he witnessed the struggle of people living on the streets.

I commit myself to show that charity is Not the solution to homelessness
as it is being used to advertise the so-called 'charitable work' that will end homelessness
when the rest of the poor people in this world are left homeless

“It is very exciting for us,” said Steven Spielberg, project manager for Step Up on Second. “We are bringing our presence to Hollywood, and we want to replicate the world-class model we have for supportive housing for the homeless that we started in Santa Monica.”

http://parklabreanewsbeverlypress.com/news/2013/03/group-steps-up-to-house-hollywood%E2%80%99s-homeless/

I commit myself to investigate
what is going on in the entertainment industry
realizing that this is a 'fake' life

because while this so-called 'special life'
is 'reeling' on the screen of movie theaters and television screens
real life is 'real-ly' happening outside of Hollywood
as the homeless populate the streets of Hollywood
during summer, fall and winter nights

and because of the glimmering lights in Hollywood
and the red carpet covering the dust in the sidewalk
where all the homeless sleep
in dirty cardboard boxes
we as the Asian and Human foreign visitors
as the one who can afford to travel
are busy buying souvenirs and riding Hollywood buses
visiting the house of the stars
taking pictures and videos
to show others of the 'specialness of Hollywood'
seeing through our mind eyes
the glitter, the opulence, the wealth

shutting our physical eyes
to what is really going on
not aware of the dust on the clothes worn by the homeless
in the streets of Hollywood
and in the streets of Asia, Africa etc.
not aware of the noises in the hungry stomach of the homeless
as they sleep on benches

not seeing through our physical/self eyes how we created
this consequential outflow within our mind

and so realizing this abuse
we have to correct ourselves
and assist in creating a world where
all can live a dignified life

Quote:

Equal Life Foundation Bill of Rights

English 4. An Equal Housing Right that assures every being and every family a stable home environment 
that is nurturing and supportive of life, properly founded within communities that assist 
and support a life of dignity and integrity. 

Filipino
4. Ang Equal Housing Right na sumisiguro  na ang bawa't isang nilalang sa mundo at bawa't pamilya 
ay may matatag na tahanan at kapaligiran na nagtataguyod at sumusuporta sa buhay, na may nararapat 
na pundasyon  sa loob ng komunidad na tumutulong at sumusuporta sa buhay na may dignidad at integridad.

http://juneroca.com/home/my-process/team-life/elf-bill-of-rights-english-with-filipino-translation/


Basic/Living Income, Guaranteed

We expect that within the Basic Income Guaranteed, the musician will have sufficient income on a Basic Income Guaranteed to be able to truly develop their music and to explore building an audience that appreciates the music they create. The same will happen with the other arts in terms of painting, films, theater, literature, etc. If one no longer needs to make the music simply for the purposes of survival and you have sufficient support to truly explore your skills, the appreciation of the listener of the music enthusiast will grow substantially and we will develop a culture within our higher appreciations that will bring us a whole new era in music. All of this is facilitated through a simple principle: once each one is taken care of in their basic needs to live a life of decency, their ability is set free to find a higher form of expression.
http://basicincomeguaranteed.wordpress.com/2013/07/04/basic-income-and-the-music-industry/

Saturday, September 28, 2013

Weight loss Part 4: Money Behind Research On Obesity: We Are Creating The Weight loss Industry




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We have this belief  that what scientists say in the news, on tv etc.
about the dangers of Obesity is 'unequestionably true' and real.

This has to be investigated
as there is money to be made in most researches.

I will be looking at this in this blog
as part of the Series i started, called:

'We Are Creating The Weight loss Industry
Through Our Fear of Being Fat'

What we create in 'our within' - in our mind world
we also create in 'our without' -as this physical world  - this world system of money
and this affects everyone.

Below are my commitments - or written self-correction script
where i am rewriting myself to re-birth me here as someone
who stands for what is best for all

I am also providing a solution here from an economic perspective.

Commitments:

I commit myself to
instead of believing that what doctors say 
in the media is true

I can look at what is being said based from the research
and see through my physical/self eyes what is
really going on

Looking at who is financing this research
realizing that research funded by some organizations 
will be biased as it will be motivated by money and profit

'Udo's project is one of four Mazure is overseeing as part of a $2.5 million grant designed to support the work of junior faculty members'

From:
http://articles.courant.com/2013-09-23/health/hc-yale-gender-food-20130923_1_yale-school-health-research-men

Those in power manage the content of the human mind through the media, education etc. and what they are funding are those that will protect their human rights but not human rights.

Quote:

Yes, those in power that manage the content of the human mind through media, through entertainment, through television, through education, through religion, through every means that now exist – because they are funding it and they are funding what protects their rights but do not protect Human Rights – those will be in a lesser position than where they are now but some of them own virtually the whole world! So: they’re going to have to share.

From: Research 
Basic/living Income Guarantee Website Link
http://basicincomeguaranteed.wordpress.com/category/research/

I stop and breathe through the energy of excitement
when and as i see myself reacting with excitement
when a new research comes out talking about
the latest findings in modern science

I commit myself to stop and breathe
when and as i see myself about to rush to the store to buy new
advertised vitamin supplement, healing superfood etc.
that promise health, longevity, wealth and beauty
and realize that
this is me as the personality
as the alternate version of me in my mind world
fearing death, sickness and hospitalization
that is reacting to the new article or write-up
in excitement

Who i am is here
within the body - as the breath



Thursday, September 26, 2013

Weight Loss: Desiring To be Slim and Fit: Part 3: Desire: Correcting Myself



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In my previous blog, i have seen how we created
the weight loss industry
and used self-forgiveness as a way of taking self-responsibility
for what i accepted and allowed in this world

In this blog, i will correct myself
within my commitment statements and
apply that in my practical living

Correcting Myself:

When and as i see myself desiring to 
eat salads and raw foods to be fit and slim

I stop 
I stabilize myself in my in-breath and  releasing 
the energy in my out-breath 
bringing my awareness back here in this real physical existence

I realize that this is me running away from 
my fear of being fat 
trying to satisfy my desire to eat salads and raw foods
to look 'young, beautiful and sexy'

I realized this is me within my beauty mind constructs
based on memory from the past
of actresses in Hollywood 
and people who had lost weight in the raw food diet

having read and watched some books and videos 
where i read information and knowledge without being aware 
of the starting point within those media releases

recommending to eat raw food, juice feasting, eating greens and superfoods
in ones books, magazines, videos etc.  
in the name of eating healthy, longevity and beauty 

I did not see that these media releases are
made by people 
to have sales
to earn money and profit 
where first they give one something supposedly FREE,
as part of a public relations campaign 
to get the buyer or customer or us to
answer a survey
to find out what one needs or desires 
and knowing that, 
make a product that will cater to those desires or needs
for sales purposes
where one did not consider what is best for all life on earth
but just decided based from what is best for oneself- within earning money and profit
for oneself or ones business

Gives Freebies
to get one to be part of ones e-mail list
so one can e-mail ones products that are for sale
to everyone in the e-mail list
where the whole sales game is based on self-interest

Using words such as:
'10 foods that you should not eat if you want to lose weight'
'3 foods that you should avoid'
'5 superfoods that can halt the aging process'
'Superfoods for Gorgeous Skin'
'5 cancer causing food'
'6 healing foods'
'10 superfoods that can boost your metabolism'
etc.

Here are some examples:




What i did not l ask myself is

Will my body accept or reject these foods?



Will i give my body more stress if i do this exercise?



Realizing  that ones body has the last say in this
and considering the fact that ones body has 
a set of DNA from ones mother and father
and that it has its unique set of codes

I commit myself to stop and breathe 
when and as i see myself 
manipulating my body to manifest my desire
manipulating the eyes 
to look at the news item related to 
the magazine cover - featuring 
Angelina Jolie in the picture and Brad Pit
who represents my idea of a 'good combination' believing that they are both 'good - looking, sexy, intelligent, wealthy, and cares about the community''

I commit myself to breathe through and direct the desire to be attractive for the opposite sex 

I commit myself to direct the eyes when looking at magazines featuring Health and Fitness Gurus for the purpose of seeing who's got the 'sexy' body in the current news

I commit myself to direct the desire to have knowledge and information about health and fitness and direct the eyes when looking at magazines or pictures in the internet  featuring Rawfoodists who have lost weight, looking good, slim and fit.

I commit myself to direct the desire to see what is the new thing going on in the rawfood world directing my eyes when and as i am looking at magazines or pictures in the internet featuring females with a slim and fit figures

I commit myself to direct the desire to be slim and fit
Realizing that weight can vary according to height, size and shape 
and weight differs according to location meaning where i am, on earth, in the moon or in Jupiter etc.

I stop 
I stabilize myself as breathe within my body
aware of my heartbeat
as the heartbeat of the physical

I commit myself to release the feeling and emotions attached to 
pictures of fit and slim people from Hollywood

I commit myself to release the feeling and emotions attached to
knowledge and information regarding health, beauty, fitness, weightloss and longevity
and the memories as well as beliefs within this

I commit myself to trust the body 
developing an equal and one relationship with the body and food
realizing it is made from the same dust of the earth my body is made of 
realizing not one food item is better than another
rather, it is about giving the body optimal nutrition based on 
real nutrition facts and not beliefs
which is cross - referenced by the body 
as food it prefers to ingest

I commit myself to show that 
the world system of money is unequal

I commit myself to show that consumerism
is about wanting to win within fear of losing
in an unequal world system of money

I commit myself to assist in creating a 
world that truly honors life
speaking and writing about 
Basic/Living income Guaranteed, from birth to death
for the poor, the unemployed, elderly and uneducated

I commit myself to show that 
corporations are competing with one another 
for money and profit thinking only of how they can win
when they can assist in giving a Basic/living Income for the poor
where all can win
where all can have a dignified life

Wednesday, September 25, 2013

Weight loss Part 2: Fear of Carbohydrates: Fear of Being Fat: Correcting Myself



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In my previous blog, i have seen how we created
the weight loss industry
and used self-forgiveness as a way of taking self-responsibility
for what i accepted and allowed in this world

In this blog, i will correct myself
within my commitment statements and
apply that in my practical living

Correcting Myself:

I commit myself to when and as i see myself
fearing rice 
believing it will make me fat
i will research what the components of rice is
and look at what fat really is
releasing the feeling and emotion attached to it
and redefine words 

I stabilize myself
and bring me back to what is here
as who i am -  as the breath within my body
being aware of my heartbeat
as it is a physical reality that i can cross-reference 
to see that i am here, living life with all that is birthed here

instead of being driven by the belief that carbohydrates make me fat
i will look at eating small portions just enough
of what my body needs
make some  rice soups  
or reduce the amount of rice or carbohydrates i eat
and find out the amount of these food items my body needs
in addition, to also investigate what carbohydrates and fats are

Instead of being driven by the belief that my ideal weight is 115 lbs.
It is to realize that that is biased
as it is based on how i see me as 'beautiful' or 'sexy'
an idea i created in an alternate reality, within my mind
where wearing clothes that are fashionable and short like a mini skirt
when i was younger
get 'positive comments' 
or 'glances' from men 
which i connected to them being attracted to me

And instead of being driven by the belief that doctors
know about how the body works
investigate how my body work myself

Instead of believing that because doctors studied anatomy
they know everything about the body
investigate what information and knowledge is
instead of believing whatever scientists/doctors say
realize that they know the structure of the body
as per what they study in the laboratory
but are not aware of the content of what creates the structure
and so, to also investigate how the body functions myself
as my way of equalizing with the word power

I commit myself to show that the fashion and beauty industry
is a billion dollar industry 
where the ones who have money wins
and the poor loses
forgetting that fabric comes from plants
and that the earth intended for us all 
to have access to the
resources of the earth equally
not just for the few to have clothes but all of us equally clothed 
to assist the body during changes in temperature
abusing the plants within this

I commit myself to show that we can assist the poor 
by giving them a Basic/living Income, Guaranteed from birth to death
yet because of greed for money and profit 
we do not look at this
we only look at what we need, what our family needs and what our own
group needs etc. - within self-interest

I commit myself to show that the weight loss industry 
is geared to make money and profit for ones pocket
disregarding the poor
when in fact the corporations who make profit from 
resources of the earth like water, oil etc. 
can create dividends enough to pay Basic/Living Income
Guaranteed, for the poor, the unemployed, the elderly and the uneducated 


Sunday, September 22, 2013

Green Juice In A Blender: What Is Not A True Starting Point In Drink Preparation?




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I have some left-over grapes in the refrigerator and as i was making a juice in a blender, i decided to put it in the green drink. I tasted it and decided to use the left - over cucumber and the avocado that is on the counter to make it creamy. It did make it creamy, but that is not what i am writing about today, although i am including the recipe of the drink at the end of this blog.. 

I am writing about what is NOT a 'True' starting point when preparing food. 

I found out that preparing food to develop a recipe and to save left-overs is NOT a 'TRUE' starting point that is best for the body..

The reason why we want/desire to prepare food to save left-overs is because of FEAR.

Let's have a look at this:
>Fear of not having a new recipe to post 
>Desires to post a new recipe 
>Starts preparing food
>Saw the left-overs
>Decided to save them 
> puts the left-over fruits in the drink
>Blended and strained the mixture and then put some avocado then drank it
>felt there's a little bit of 'growling' in the stomach and connected it to 'bad  drink' 
>refused to drink the rest of it

I will look at the starting point in making a drink or a new recipe here.

Fearing not having a new recipe to post, then desiring to make a drink so one can post a new recipe from  the starting point of making a new recipe that will be liked by many which will be popular and where the recipe creator can feel good about oneself - based on self-interest is not a true starting point in preparing a drink or a dish. 

One is really desiring to make oneself 'special' through ones food preparation within this.

Judging the food as 'bad' because one experienced 'growling' in ones stomach will be - blaming the food for causing the 'bad stomach'.

The food is expressing itself in this world and it is the person preparing the food who has to take self-responsibility for the nutrition one gives the body - and then cross-referencing with the body if it is okay with that.

Looking at what ones body needs in terms of nutrition before one prepares food is going to assist the body. 

Instead of blaming the food, one can take note of what the body prefers in terms of food items and food combinations so when one prepares food this will be taken into consideration.

In this case, what i learned is that i can use another fruit to sweeten my juice and will not use grapes, instead i can use pear or apples. 


I used the following:

2 small carrots chopped
juice of 2 oranges
1 bunch celery small
1 medium cucumber
5 leaves of romaine
2 c green grapes or 2 pears peeled without seeds
1/2 of an avocado

I Blended the first 5 ingredients first, then i added the grapes. 
I strained it in a cheesecloth and then, i blended it again with the avocado.



I strained it in a Cheesecloth or produce bag




The finished drink


Rice: How We Create The Wellness And Weight loss Industry Through Fearing Being Fat





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I have an aversion to eating rice believing that it will make me fat.
I am looking at how i created this within my mind
and the consequence outflow of this in 'my without' - as the wellness and the weight loss industry

I am using self-forgiveness to release the energetic 'push and pull' within my mind which
creates a friction and conflict that results to stress and correcting the way i see rice and other food items
that i judged as 'heavy and fatty' in my living.

What is self-forgiveness?

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to participate in the design of fear of survival - as the physical - as food - as plants - as rice - as energy

fear that rice will make me fat,
fear that fice will make me gain weight
believing that carbohydrates make me fat and make me gain weight
as i feel the heaviness when i eat rice
as i saw my weight increase when i look at my weight aftrer eating rice
as i have heard and read what doctors and wellness professionals said
'rice has carbohydrates that make you fat' - in the media
believing that doctors know about how the body works
believing that because they studied anatomy
and they studied how the body works for a long time
they must know everything about the body
and because of that i have to believe whatever they say

So, desiring to eat salads and raw foods to be fit and slim
believing that what doctors say in the media
about the dangers of obesity is true
believing that if i eat more salads and raw foods
i will have a slim and fit body
and i will be popular
believing that because stars are popular
because of their slim and fit figures
and are given attention by men and people from the media
i will get attention too
when i become fit and slim
believing that because rice feels heavy in my stomach
when i eat it
it must be bad for me
believing that when i feel heavy
i will weigh heavy on the scales
which will mean i am fat
believing that when i am fat, i am slow, lazy, sick, useless, hopeless, worthless,
believing that if i am short and fat, i am inferior to others who have tall and lean body
believing that when i have a fat face, my smile is not well defined
believing that if i have a saggy chin, i will look old
believing that old people has difficulty to move around, so lives life less
as they are sickly and dying
believing that if i am fit and slim i  look young and beautiful
believing that young people live life more because they are mobile, athletic,
adventurous, fun, fit, lean etc.
believing that when one is young, one is living life fully

instead of realizing that within this i am running away from my fear and the
negative experience i have within my mind
so, desiring the opposite and satisfying that desire to give me
a positive experience within my mind
forgetting that i am here as the breath in a body
in this physical world - this physical existence
and not in the mind world - an alternate version of this physical world
which i created so i can always be happy and where i can always win

Through this, I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to doubt who i am
fearing the perceived split within myself
creating a friction and conflict within myself
uncertain of whether i am in my mind world
fearing being fat
desiring Not to eat rice to be fit and slim
or in this physical world
here as breath in every moment moving me, expressing me
developing an equal and one relationship with the body

Within this, i forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to think about a picture of me being ugly and fat eating rice with some 'humba', my favorite Philippine dish,
believing that when i get fat i look ugly
believing that bulges in my body
that shows up when i wear fitting clothes
are ugly
believing that lean is beautiful and sexy
believing that if my body is lean and beautiful
i will be the center of attraction and that
all eyes will be on me
making me feel special and desired
believing that when i am desired and admired
i am alive
and when i am rejected and disliked
i am a walking dead

where within this i am running away from my fear and running after my idea of beauty  within my mind world and turning my back against the physical world, generating mind energy which is taken from the body - the powerhouse of energy - instead of realizing i can stop participating in my thoughts

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to see through my mind's eyes seeing only
the pictures i created within my mind and the interpretations i gave them
as per how i interpreted this physical reality
never really here as the evil me living in a secluded mind world
where i always win
not seeing the abuse going on in this physical world
because i fear to lose

Within this, i forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to imagine that i am fat and ugly imagining people doesn't want to be with me
believing that people cry alone, so i am alone in my fatness and ugliness
believing that happiness is contagious
so desiring to smile, give jokes and compliment others
believing that if i smile, i attract others
believing that if i give jokes, i get laughter back from others
believing that if i compliment others, i make them happy
believing that if i make others happy
they will remember me
believing that if they remember me, i will be alive in their memories
believing that the more people have good memories of me
i am successful in living life

where within this i am forming a picture within my mind as an inferior character that is an alternate version of me generating energy, in the process, using energy coming from the body - the evil me feeding the body and then taking energy from it so i can imagine pictures within my mind - instead of realizing that i can breathe through and stabilize myself  as breath when and as i am presented with pictures - where i do not cloud my judgment and instead, see reality as what it is.

Within this, i forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to have a backchat within my mind saying, 'i don't care i will just do what i want to do'
believing that i tried different diets before and it did not work
so, not caring about diets, will work
believing that if one does not work
the opposite of that will work

where within this, i am trying to be whole wiithin balancing 2 polarities
and abusing words within my mind as backchat uses words
just like when we speak or write
generating energy within my mind
transforming physical energy to mind energy
instead of realizing that i can stop participating in this backchat
and be stable here as breath in every moment, moving me, expressing me

Within this, I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to when i
see my mom eating with her hands with 'gusto' food such as
rice with other Filipino dishes like 'adobo', 'sinigang' etc.
have a backchat within my mind 'she is already fat yet she does not really care'
where i use and abuse words within my mind
judging and projecting my own fears and desires to her and other people in my world
where i am trying to get away from my fear of being fat
though the emotion of pity

Within this, i forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to
react in guilt and apathy so eat however much i like
even if it does not support the body's survival optimally
when i am bored, so i will be entertained
when i am talking with someone, so i will be entertained while talking
when i am taking a break from doing my assignment, so i will make life easy for me

where within this i am generating mind energy and transforming physical energy to feed the mind
to energize my mind world
and escape from the abuse that is here in this world
retreating from what is real to go to an unreal world
where i am always happy, and winning - within self-interest

Within this, i forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself
to create a consequence outflow within my acceptance and allowance
of this fear of being fat in my within
and so, creating a consequence outflow in my without - of/as the weight loss industry
where people like me
fear being fat and ugly
and desires to be slim and fit
making wellness a billion dollar industry
capitalizing on my fear of being ugly and my desire to be fit and slim
and recreating an unequal world system
making money and profit for myself - within self-interest

where the earth's resources land in the hands of the corporations
depriving others of their share
instead of nationalizing the earth's natural resources
and sharing their profit to others
through paying them a Living Income, Guaranteed from birth till death
where not only few wins  - but where all wins

Through this, I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to
blame the physical for creating food
that makes people fat
like rice
instead of realizing i am the one who created the fear within my mind
so i am the one that will take self-responsibility for what i accepted and allowed
in 'my within' - as the mind
and in my without - as this world system

Through this, I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to
have the excuse that i have to survive as the ' i don't want to be fat' personality
instead of realizing that i do not have to fear survival and then try to transcend this fear within my mind
rather, to assist in changing this world system
from inequality to us, walking as equals
within a balanced ecosystem of money

Through this, i forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to
justify the excuse that i have to survive as the 'i don't want to be fat' personality
so i can be whole instead of realizing that
this is me running away from my fear
then desiring to Not eat rice to be beautiful and fit
instead of realizing that this is balance in polarity ( positive and negative)
and that real wholeness
does not need to be attained within balancing 2 ends of a pole
realizing that it is the same pole
and that real wholeness
is about standing for what will benefit the body
developing an equal and one relationship with it
and standing for what is best for All in this One Life