Eating When Bored

When i am bored, there is this rush to stand up and go to the refrigerator to look for something to eat. When i cannot find one that i really like, i look for food items available in the house. I then take a memory from my mind of that 'tasty dish' i ate in the past remembering its taste and then taking that memory and the information to make the dish. This is mind directed - a part of a mind program that is controlling me to act in a certain way that will energize the mind. I have to stop accepting and allowing this, because the consequence of this is that the body which is supporting me to express myself here will be unable to survive and will not be able to assist me because the natural energy it produces will be converted by the mind to unnatural energy . The mind will resource the body for energy to survive.

Here is an example of a timeline:

>i am bored
>I need something to eat
>what do we have here in the fridge?
>I open the fridge
>I take food out from the fridge
>I eat the food

What is self-forgiveness?

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to participate in the design of
fear of survival - as texture - as form - as energy

where i participate in a mind design
as the evil me
preoccupying myself with
thoughts, reactions, imaginations etc.
where i go within my mind to think, imagine etc.
losing track of what is here

Fearing that i am bored without tasty food
to eat that will entertain me
so longing/desiring to find/make food or a dish that i like
believing that i have to start looking at the refrigerator
for tasty food
or make one that will entertain my tastebuds
believing that i need totaste a dish that i ate before
looking for a certain taste within my mind - a memory of an
exciting dining experience

the evil me running away from my fear
instead of facing it and finding out where it all started

desiring to eat food that will give me a happy feeling
by eating a combination of food with
crispy texture like chips
and a creamy, cold frozen texture like ice cream
the evil me using food to entertain the mind to win
running away from my fear of being bored
and using food to entertain me as the mind

instead of realizing that i am here as breath able to enjoy
who i am in every moment
cascading through the depths of the physical body
as i inhale and exhale as an expression of me here
moving me, directing me, expressing me

Through this, i forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to
doubt who i am
perceiving i split myself into 2
uncertain whether i am the one
who is entertained by tasty food
or the one who is not entertained by it
needing something to satisfy my desire
instead of realizing that i am here as breath
in every moment as who i am, what i am and how i am

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to be so preoccupied within
my mind as to whether the food that i will eat is tasty or not
and within that miss the expression of the plant or animal in front of me
as the physical/body made of the same substance
the dust of the earth
which my body is made from and all bodies is made from
the dust of the earth - to which all bodies will return
one and equal

Through this, i forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to
blame this physical existence for creating foods that i do not like
which gives me a negative energetic experience
accusing nature and putting the blame on nature
instead of realizing it is nature that sustains life on earth
it is nature that sustains this body
realizing that i am the one creating this need in my mind
to be entertained by food
rather than facing this fear and seeing where it started
so i can stop

where as i take myself by the hand and unconditionally assist myself
walking back, seeing
that it was when i was waiting for my 'crush'
in the elementary grades to notice me
that i ate and ate a lot of the sweets that my great grandmother was cooking
hoping that he would notice me and smile at me and hold my hands
within my mind
i suppressed the feeling

where within that i am waiting for something that will give me
a happy energetic feeling of being loved
using food momentarily to feel good and satisfied

instead of realizing that i am the one that has to stop
to desire a positive energy experience
and instead of blaming another
take self-responsibility for what i accepted and allowed

Through this, i forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to
eat when i am bored even when i am Not hungry, to be entertained
by the taste, temperature and texture of food
instead of realizing that hunger is a signal that my body lacks glucose
and eating is about giving the body food that will support it to get the glucose that it needs
and other nutrients it need.

Through this, I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself
to have the excuse that i want to survive as the personality being entertained by food
believing that survival is about having a happy energetic experience
when eating food
believing that survival is balance in polarity
from a negative pole to a positive pole
instead of realizing i created this personality as the alternate me within my mind
not realizing who i am is here, moving me breath by breath moment by moment

Through this, i forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to
justify my excuse that i have to survive as the personality
that desires to be entertained through food
to be whole
believing that the negative pole is a part of me that is evil
and the positive pole is the part of me that is 'good'
believing that if i embrace that part of me which is good
i will be whole

instead of realizing that wholeness is not about
time travelling within my mind from the negative to the positive pole

Wholeness does not need separation from the source

it is about releasing the positive enrgy
moving the energy
as i breathe in
and i breathe out
letting it go in the outbreath
and realizing who i am Is here
as the breath
so i stabilize me moment by moment

and correct my starting point
From wanting to entertain my mind within eating food
within self-interest
To developing an equal and one relationship with the body
giving the body enough nutrition it needs daily
for it to survive and support  me
to do what i set out to do
standing for what is best for all

I commit myself to when and as i see myself bored and about to open the refrigerator,
I stop. I breathe
I correct my starting point - making sure that i am hungry before i get something to eat
and make sure that i have a food item that will give nourishment for the body and something that the body prefers to eat.