Redefining Veganism: Mind of a Vegan Day 57 Fit and 'Sexy'

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My Food Story

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This is How I Became a 'Vegan'

Memory of what happened:

> Memory: I attended a vegan get-together and saw a film where the doctor took solidified fat inside a man's artery

>> Memory: I stood face to face with my fears, namely,  of going to the hospital, of being operated on, of  pain, of sickness, of death, of fear of doctors, nurses, medicines etc.

>>>Memory: I did not like the taste of what i ate in that vegan get together  - as it tasted bland 

>>>>Memory: I disregarded my fear of eating bland food because i know i can make the food taste good. All i know is i do not like to be sick and go to the hospital

>>>>>Memory: I adopted a vegan diet
>>>>>>I exercised more in the gym to be fit and sexy
>>>>>>>Memory: I started eating organic produce 
>>>>>>>>Memory: I felt good and looked good                                        

This is one mind pattern .   When i look at how i programmed myself within food what is clear is that my 'fear of survival and fear of death' is directing me in my choice of food

Note: have a look below - what you see is a copy of how i programmed myself as the mind in relation to food. 

To Be Continued in the coming blogs 

===

A Copy of 

My Food Programming

START

- I was born to this world without an assurance that i will get the basic necessities i need to survive
- I fear surviving in this world of competition and self-interest
- I cried and when my mom heard me cry, she came and fed me mother's milk

- My family fed me anything that was available for me to survive and i ate it

- I saw them cooking and eating food so i tasted it and liked the taste of it so i ate what was served on the table

- I liked meat when i was young specifically 'humba' ( pigs knuckles in a Philippine 'humba' sauce,  a dish my mother cooked for me) so i ate more of it and other foods that was given to me
- To forget my fears,  i entertained myself with food

- I heard a story where my grandmother was telling me that when i was young, she was so angry to see a cockroach very near me while she was watching me as I was sick and dying in the hospital. She said that, that happened when she was ' praying to God to save my life and at the same time imploring him to take my life and not let me suffer if it was not meant for me to survive'. 'I was scared to know that i was at one time in the past dying'

- When i was about 7 -8 yrs old, i felt weak, as i was lying down on bed in the house of my grandmother, having a flu hating the  'bad taste' of the medicine she gave me

- When i was in high school i was having heart pains - and was told by a doctor that i have 'angina', a mild form of heart disease which the 'specialist' dismissed as 'nothing' after he tested my heart. He advised me to just play outdoors' - yet in my mind i had this fear of getting sick and fear of death which i kept to myself suspecting that there's something going on in my body which i am not aware of nor they are aware of. 

- I did yoga and meditation                                         (fear of getting sick)

- I heard and read that the 'sentient vegetarian diet' (a vegetarian diet without onions, garlic, mushroom and eggs) was a healthy diet 

- I  was invited to a sentient vegetarian dinner where they were talking about health

- I had the idea that this can stop my heart pains and will stop me from getting sick

- I adopted a 'sentient' cooked vegetarian diet - believing that food like mushroom, garlic, onion, meat, fish etc.  has  'negative energy' in them' and that generally vegetables, fruits, nuts, milk, butter have positive energy in them (as the guru said so )  
- I learned how to cook a 'tasty' vegetarian diet

- I believed that the vegetarian diet is 'better than' a carnivorous diet - believing it is a 'healthy diet'

- I practiced the 'sentient vegetarian diet' for 29 years and believed the sentient vegetarian diet is  healthy and that it is the diet of spiritual people or highly evolved people

- I attended a vegan get-together and saw a film where the doctor took solidified fat inside a man's artery

- I had a fear going to the hospital - fear of being operated on, fear of pain, fear of sickness, fear of death

- I did not like the diet - as it tasted bland 

- Disregarded my fear of eating bland food because i know i can make the food taste good 

- I adopted a vegan diet                                             (fear of getting sick/ fear of death)
- I exercised more in the gym to be fit and sexy
- I started eating organic produce 

- I felt good and looked good                                        

- I ate in a restaurant and tasted raw' tasty' food

- I researched about raw food

- I read that raw food can heal people's illnesses

- I took knowledge and information that i have heard and seen from the media as my truth 

- I learned how to make raw foods                 (fear of getting sick) 

- I adopted a raw food diet

- It tasted good

- I 'felt good and looked good' after eating 100% raw food

- I equated eating 100% raw food to 'being the best diet in the planet'

- Some of my raw food friends started juice feasting

- I had a very tiny lump the size of a small bead in my right breast that is growing bigger

-I got scared
- I decided to juice feast believing it will get smaller                       

- I felt  very light

- I saw a man in a youtube video surviving just eating fruits

- My dad had an illness so i visited him one day 
- I was surprised to know that he was just eating fruits, he looked 10 years younger his age and he's healed from his illness

- I believed that the fruitarian diet healed my father 

- I believed that he looked good because he just ate vegetables

- Decided to eat only fruits                                       (Fear of looking bad/not looking good)

- I felt light,  I looked younger
- I fear that i feel too light that i will not be grounded

- I started eating raw food again

- I saw the lump getting bigger

- I felt an itchy nagging feeling inside my body

- I was diagnosed with breast cancer

- I drank herbs from the Chinese doctor  once a day and juiced fruits and herbs throughout the day                           

- I tried juice feasting again so i will feel light and can deal with the itchy nagging feeling

- I was operated on 
- The nagging feeling disappeared 

- I decided to eat raw foods again

- I saw a man in a youtube video teaching personal fitness and running very fast who claimed he was a breatharian

- I wanted to know if the body still has energy even when it's not getting food

- I researched about inedia and breatharianism

- I found out Lao Tzu who i traced as the proponent of 'Taoism' - is the proponent of Inedia

- I found out that he just disappeared from where he was staying riding an animal
- I connected his diappearance to 'immortality' 
- i got  interested in 'inedia'                    (Fear of not being immortal/Fear of sickness & death)

- Where i work, they started a weight loss contest

- I signed up 
- I also want to lose weight                    (Fear of gaining weight)
- My plan is to not eat so i will be ahead in the competition
- I decided to test not eating nor drinking for 3 1/2 days   

- I started fasting without water nor food once a week and then twice a week,
- I fasted  2 1/2 days a week and then 3 1/2 consecutive days not eating nor drinking 
- I found out my body only wants to sleep for 2 hrs and has all the energy throughout the day to do what needs to be done

- I found out i can run faster when i was not eating - also feeling so light -  than when i was eating

- I was mesmerized by these new found 'feats'

- I considered myself 'special' believing that the majority of people eats food and i didn't - believing they were 'normal and i was special'

- I found out my body is beginning to adopt to not eating on the third day of the 'no water no food fast'

- I fear sickness and death - so it came up and i saw myself fearing not being able to eat for a long period of time

- I heard someone saying that breatharianism is a 'mind energetic bullshit'

- I fear continuing my fast                                         (fear of getting sick/death)

- I stopped

Raw Food vs Cooked Food: The Mathematics of Feeling Light or Heavy Day 58 Fear

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In this blog, i am looking at 'feeling light' and 'feeling heavy' when eating raw food and cooked food. I am writing self-forgiveness statements to release the positive and negative charge i connected to raw food and cooked food within my mind and correct myself in my living.

The mathematical symbols and examples of mind values  will be highlighted using the color pink.

Note: The redefinition of the words cooked and raw will be done in blogs to come

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Self=forgiveness Statements

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to participate in the design of/as 'fear of survival - as energy' fear feeling bad waking up in the morning believing that i feel heavy/bad from eating cooked food
the night before - desiring to eat raw food believing that when i eat raw food the day before
i feel light/good when i wake up in the morning defining myself within feeling light/good and feeling heavy/bad - instead of realizing it is me as the mind giving lightness a positive value and giving heaviness a negative value within my mind - within the belief that feeling light is good and feeling heavy is bad

Through this i forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to doubt who i am believing i split myself into 2 - the one feeling good and the one feeling bad - believing that the one feeling bad is the ego and the one feeling good is the self - instead of realizing that positive and negative energies are unnatural energies
 coming from the natural energies the body produce

Through this, i forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to  fear feeling bad as i programmed myself to thinking i have to feel good all the time believing that life is about happiness, looking good and feeling good and death is about sadness, looking bad and feeling bad.

Through this, i forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to blame the body/physical/substance of the fruit, vegetable, grains, nuts, seeds, the meat of animals and the body/physical/substance of the earth for making me feel bad believing that it has the power to either make me feel light or heavy - separating from them as i exist within my mind seeing the body/physical of vegetables, fruits, grains, seeds, nuts, animal meat and the earth through my mind's eyes  looking at them according to how i experience myself when i eat them  - believing that when i feel heavy when i eat cooked food i should not eat cooked food believing  it is bad for the body and that when i feel light when i eat raw food i should eat raw food because it is good for the body - not seeing and realizing that i programmed myself to feel good when i eat raw food and to feel bad when i eat cooked food using the mind to manipulate the body to feel good or bad to justify my desires


Through this, i forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to give the excuse that i have to survive so i have to feel light and happy -and that i should eat raw foods because i feel light and happy when i eat it - and not eat cooked food because it makes me feel heavy - justifying this by saying ' i have to be whole' - believing that the split was real - within this, validating my experience of me feeling light wihen i eat raw food as real  - and my experience of feeling heavy when i eat cooked food as real - believing that 'if i experience it, its got to be REAL'  not seeing and realizing that i am living the fear of feeling heavy - that i experienced when i eat cooked foods in the past  and my experience of feeling light when i eat raw foods in the past  - in the present - defining myself within memories and experiences of/as the mind - and using the mind to manipulate the body to feel how i want to feel to justify my desires -and as the mind use unnatural positive and negative energy within my mind - the body is being resourced to transform natural energy produced by the body to unnatural positive and negative energy within my mind- the evil me, giving the body nourishment and then taking those nutrients back - for me to have a positive energy experience - for the mind to exist.

===

Commitment to Correction

I commit myself to when and as i see myself fearing survival 'as positive energy' - fearing to eat cooked food and desiring to eat raw food so i will feel light -  i stop - i breathe. I realized that i am the creator of my feelings and emotions and so i have to take self-responsibility to stop participating in the mind - so

I commit myself to assist myself to stabilize myself as breath before i eat - and change my starting point- from eating what i desire to eat - according to what will give me a positive energy experience to assist myself to accept and allow myself to eat seeing food as an equal - where i bring the food within myself standing equal with the food realizing that the body/physical of raw fruits, vegetables, seeds, nuts, grains etc. consist of cells that consist of atoms and the body/physical of cooked foods consist of cells that consist of atoms - equal to my body/physical which also consist of cells which consist of atoms -therefore we are equals,  so i commit myself to assist myself to accept and allow  me to eat according to what the body prefers and not what my mind prefers

I commit myself to assist myself to see that knowledge and information about food from scientific studies only discusses the structure of things and not the content as the how and the why it was created - acting as observers looking in -rather than see animals and plants as an equal, so it is for me to stop participating in  my mind and stop the noise in my mind  to 'here' (hear) what is here and see the fact that animals and plants are giving up their lives for the body to survive - so we have to stop participating in/as our mind - so we will not need to slaughter them for food nor profit.

I commit myself to assist myself to accept and allow me to develop an equal and one relationship with the body - seeing it as an equal - to through writing, self-forgiveness and self-corrective application assist myself to let go of the veil that stops me from seeing plants, animals, humans and matter as what they really are - as my equals - living this one life - assisting each other to establish a world that truly honors life based on equality.

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The Mathematics of Giving Positive and Negative Values
Vs
Giving Value Equal to Life 

I realized that i have given these mind values  to cooked food and raw food 
and other words i connected it to

'morning = feeling good = +10

morning = feeling bad = -10

Raw Food = feeling light = +10

Cooked Food =  feeling heavy = -10

Ego = feeling bad = -10

Self = feeling good = +10

Life = happiness = feeling good = +10

Death = sadness = feeling bad = -10

===

Cooked noodles = feeling heavy = -10

Raw noodles = feeling light = +10

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self= feeling light = feeling good= happiness = +10

ego = feeling heavy = feeling bad = sadness = -10

wholeness = self = feeling light = feeling good = happiness = +10
===

Eternal wholeness = eternal positivity = feeling light eternally = feeling good eternally = eternal happiness = Life 
===

Eternal happiness = no sadness

===

Past memory = present

Past memory = feeling bad eating cooked food = -10 

Present = feeling bad eating cooked food = -10

Past memory = feeling good eating raw food = +10 

Present =  feeling good eating raw food = +10

===

Past memory = Future

Past memory = feeling bad eating cooked food = -10 

Future = feeling bad eating cooked food = -10

Past memory = feeling good eating raw food = +10 

Future =  feeling good eating raw food = +10'

Not realizing that the values i have given raw food and cooked food are mind values
which are not real

so instead of giving these words mind values

I am giving raw foods value equal to Life
and cooked foods value equal to Life

Raw foods = Life
Cooked Foods = Life

Realizing that 
Raw foods as raw fruits, nuts, seeds, veggies etc. consist of cells which consist of atoms 
Cooked Foods as cooked veggies, nuts, seeds etc.consist of cells which consist of atoms

Realizing that the atoms the body of humans and nature consist of 
consist of substance which all life consist of

Redefining Vegetarianism: The Mind of a Vegetarian Day 57 Fear of Heart Pains

 

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My Food Story

===

This is How I Became a 'Vegetarian'

Memory of what happened:

>Memory: I heard a story where my grandmother was telling me that when i was young, she was so angry to see a cockroach very near me while she was watching me as I was sick and dying in the hospital. She said that happened when she was ' praying to God to save my life and at the same time imploring him to take my life and not let me suffer if it was not meant for me to survive'. 'I was scared to know that i was at one time in the past dying'

>> Memory: when i was about 7 -8 yrs old, i felt weak, as i was lying down on bed in the house of my grandmother, having a flu hating the  'bad taste' of the medicine she gave me

>>>Memory: when i was in high school i was having heart pains -and was told by a doctor that i have 'angina', a mild form of heart disease which the 'specialist' dismissed as 'nothing' after he tested my heart. He advised me to just play outdoors' - yet in my mind i had this fear of getting sick and dying which i kept to myself suspecting that there's something going on in my body which i am not aware of nor they are aware of

>>>>Memory: I did yoga and meditation                                         

>>>>>Memory: I heard and read that the 'sentient vegetarian diet' (a vegetarian diet without onions, garlic, mushroom and eggs) was a healthy diet 

>>>>>>Memory: I  was invited to a sentient vegetarian dinner where they were talking about health

>>>>>>>I had the idea that this can stop my heart pains and will stop me from getting sick

>>>>>>>>Memory: I adopted a 'sentient' cooked vegetarian diet - believing that food like mushroom, garlic, onion, meat, fish etc.  has  'negative energy' in them' and that generally vegetables, fruits, nuts, milk, butter have positive energy in them (as the guru said so ) 

Memory: I learned how to cook a 'tasty' vegetarian diet

>>>>>>>>>Memory: I believed that the vegetarian diet is 'better than' a carnivorous diet - believing it is a 'healthy diet'

This is one mind pattern .   When i look at how i programmed myself within food what is clear is that my 'fear of survival and fear of death' is directing me in my choice of food

Note: have a look below - what you see is a copy of how i programmed myself as the mind in relation to food. 

To Be Continued in the coming blogs 

===

A Copy of 

My Food Programming

- Memory:I was born to this world without an assurance that i will get the basic necessities i need to survive. 
- Memory: I fear surviving in this world of competition and self-interest. 
- Memory: I cried and when my mom heard me cry, she came and fed me mother's milk

- Memory: My family fed me anything that was available for me to survive and i ate it

- Memory:  I saw them cooking and eating food so i tasted it and liked the taste of it so i ate what was served on the table

- Memory: I liked meat when i was young specifically 'humba' ( pigs knuckles in a Philippine 'humba' sauce,  a dish my mother cooked for me) so i ate more of it and other foods that was given to me
- Memory: To forget my fears,  i entertained myself with food

- Memory: I heard a story where my grandmother was telling me that when i was young, she was so angry to see a cockroach very near me while she was watching me as I was sick and dying in the hospital. She said that, that happened when she was ' praying to God to save my life and at the same time imploring him to take my life and not let me suffer if it was not meant for me to survive'. 'I was scared to know that i was at one time in the past dying'

- Memory: when i was about 7 -8 yrs old, i felt weak, as i was lying down on bed in the house of my grandmother, having a flu hating the  'bad taste' of the medicine she gave me

- Memory: when i was in high school i was having heart pains - and was told by a doctor that i have 'angina', a mild form of heart disease which the 'specialist' dismissed as 'nothing' after he tested my heart. He advised me to just play outdoors' - yet in my mind i had this fear of getting sick and fear of death which i kept to myself suspecting that there's something going on in my body which i am not aware of nor they are aware of. 

- Memory: I did yoga and meditation                                         (fear of getting sick)

- Memory: I heard and read that the 'sentient vegetarian diet' (a vegetarian diet without onions, garlic, mushroom and eggs) was a healthy diet 

- Memory: I  was invited to a sentient vegetarian dinner where they were talking about health

- I had the idea that this can stop my heart pains and will stop me from getting sick

- Memory: I adopted a 'sentient' cooked vegetarian diet - believing that food like mushroom, garlic, onion, meat, fish etc.  has  'negative energy' in them' and that generally vegetables, fruits, nuts, milk, butter have positive energy in them (as the guru said so )  
- Memory: I learned how to cook a 'tasty' vegetarian diet

- Memory: I believed that the vegetarian diet is 'better than' a carnivorous diet - believing it is a 'healthy diet'

- Memory:  I practiced the 'sentient vegetarian diet' for 29 years and believed the sentient vegetarian diet is  healthy and that it is the diet of spiritual people or highly evolved people
- Memory: I attended a vegan get-together and saw a film where the doctor took solidified fat inside a man's artery

- Memory: Fear going to the hospital - fear of being operated on, fear of pain, fear of sickness, fear of death

- Memory: I did not like the diet - as it tasted bland 

- Memory: Disregarded my fear of eating bland food because i know i can make the food taste good 

- Memory: I adopted a vegan diet                                             (fear of getting sick)

- Memory: I ate in a restaurant and tasted raw' tasty' food

- Memory: I researched about raw food

- Memory: I read that raw food can heal people's illnesses

- Memory: I took knowledge and information that i have heard and seen from the media as my truth 

- Memory: I learned how to make raw foods                 (fear of getting sick) 

- Memory: I adopted a raw food diet

- Memory: It tasted good

- Memory: I 'felt good and looked good' after eating 100% raw food

- Memory: I equated eating 100% raw food to 'being the best diet in the planet'

- Memory: Some of my raw food friends started juice feasting

- Memory: I researched about juice feasting

- Memory: I read that it can remove toxins in the intestine

- Memory: I did juice feasting                                                    (fear of getting sick)

- Memory: I felt good and light

- Memory: I saw a man in a youtube video surviving just eating fruits

- Memory: My dad had an illness so i visited him one day and was surprised to know that he was just eating fruits, he looked 10 years younger his age and he's healed from his illness

- Memory: Decided to eat only fruits

- Memory: I felt light and I looked younger

- Memory: I saw a man in a youtube video teaching personal fitness and running very fast who claimed he was a breatharian

- Memory: I wanted to know if the body still has energy even when it's not getting food

- Memory: I researched about inedia and breatharianism

- Memory: I found out Lao Tzu who i traced as the proponent of 'Taoism' - is the proponent of Inedia

- Memory: I found out that he just disappeared and connected that to 'immortality'

- Memory: Where i work, they started a weightloss contest

- Memory: I decided to test not eating nor drinking for 3 1/2 days   

- Memory: I started fasting without water nor food once a week and then twice a week, 2 1/2 days a week and then 3 1/2 consecutive days not eating nor drinking    (fear of not surviving without  food and water/fear of death)

- Memory: I found out my body only wants to sleep for 2 hrs and has all the energy throughout the day to do what needs to be done

- Memory: I found out i can run faster when i was not eating - also feeling so light -  than when i was eating

- Memory: I was mesmerized by these new found 'feats'

- Memory:  I considered myself 'special' believing that the majority of people eats food and i didn't - believing they were 'normal and i was special'

- Memory: I found out my body is beginning to adopt to not eating on the third day of the 'no water no food fast'

- Memory: I fear sickness and death - so it came up and i saw myself fearing not being able to eat for a long period of time

- Memory: I heard someone saying that breatharianism is a 'mind energetic bullshit'

- Memory: I fear continuing my fast                                         (fear of getting sick/death)

- Memory: I stopped

I am presently doing self-forgiveness for my fears and correcting myself in my living

Redefining International Cuisine: Mind of a Meat Eater: Day 56 Mother's Milk

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This is How I Became a 'Meat Eater'

Here is my memory of what happened:

> I was born to this world without an assurance that i will get the basic necessities i need to survive. 
>>I fear surviving in this world of competition and self-interest
 >>>I cried and when my mom heard me cry, she came and fed me mother's milk

>>>>My family fed me anything that was available for me to survive and i ate it

>>>>>I saw them cooking and eating food so i tasted it and liked the taste of it so i ate what was served on the table 

>>>>>>I liked meat when i was young specifically 'humba' ( pigs knuckles in a Philippine 'humba' sauce) - a dish my mother cooked for me) so i ate more of it and other foods that was given to me
>>>>>>>'To forget my fears, i entertained myself with food'

This is one mind pattern .   When i look at how i programmed myself within food (have a look below - what you see is a copy of how i programmed me as my mind in relation to food), what is clear is that my 'fear of survival and fear of death' is directing me in my choice of food

To Be Continued in the coming blogs 

===
A Copy of 

My Food Programming

- Memory:I was born to this world without an assurance that i will get the basic necessities i need to survive. 
- Memory: I fear surviving in this world of competition and self-interest. 

- Memory: I cried and when my mom heard me cry, she came and fed me mother's milk

- Memory: My family fed me anything that was available for me to survive and i ate it

- Memory:  I saw them cooking and eating food so i tasted it and liked the taste of it so i ate what was served on the table

- Memory: I liked meat when i was young specifically 'humba' ( pigs knuckles in a Philippine 'humba' sauce) - a dish my mother cooked for me) so i ate more of it and other foods that was given to me
- Memory: To forget my fears,  i entertained myself with food

- Memory: I heard a story where my grandmother was telling me that when i was young, she was so angry to see a cockroach very near me while she was watching me as I was sick and dying in the hospital. She said that happened when she was ' praying to God to save my life and at the same time imploring him to take my life and not let me suffer if it was not meant for me to survive'. 'I was scared to know that i was at one time in the past dying'

- Memory: when i was about 7 -8 yrs old, i felt weak, as i was lying down on bed in the house of my grandmother, having a flu hating the  'bad taste' of the medicine she gave me

- Memory: when i was in high school i was having heart pains -and was told by a doctor that i have 'angina', a mild form of heart disease which the 'specialist' dismissed as 'nothing' after he tested my heart. He advised me to just play outdoors' - yet in my mind i had this fear of getting sick and dying which i kept to myself suspecting that there's something going on in my body which i am not aware of nor they are aware of

- Memory: I did yoga and meditation                                         (fear of getting sick)

- Memory: I heard and read that the 'sentient vegetarian diet' (a vegetarian diet without onions, garlic, mushroom and eggs) was a healthy diet 

- Memory: I  was invited to a sentient vegetarian dinner where they were talking about health
-I had the idea that this can stop my heart pains

- Memory: I adopted a 'sentient' cooked vegetarian diet - believing that food like mushroom, garlic, onion, meat, fish etc.  has  'negative energy' in them' and that generally vegetables, fruits, nuts, milk, butter have positive energy in them (as the guru said so )  - Memory: I learned how to cook a 'tasty' vegetarian diet

- Memory: I believed that the vegetarian diet is 'better than' a carnivorous diet - believing it is a 'healthy diet'

- Memory:  I practiced the 'sentient vegetarian diet' for 29 years and believed the sentient vegetarian diet is  healthy and that it is the diet of spiritual people or highly evolved people - Memory: I attended a vegan get-together and saw a film where the doctor took solidified fat inside a man's artery

- Memory: Fear going to the hospital - fear of being operated on, fear of pain, fear of sickness, fear of death

- Memory: I did not like the diet - as it tasted bland 

- Memory: Disregarded my fear of eating bland food because i know i can make the food taste good 

- Memory: I adopted a vegan diet                                             (fear of getting sick)

- Memory: I ate in a restaurant and tasted raw' tasty' food

- Memory: I researched about raw food

- Memory: I read that raw food can heal people's illnesses

- Memory: I took knowledge and information that i have heard and seen from the media as my truth 

- Memory: I learned how to make raw foods                 (fear of getting sick) 

- Memory: I adopted a raw food diet

- Memory: It tasted good

- Memory: I 'felt good and looked good' after eating 100% raw food

- Memory: I equated eating 100% raw food to 'being the best diet in the planet'

- Memory: Some of my raw food friends started juice feasting

- Memory: I researched about juice feasting

- Memory: I read that it can remove toxins in the intestine

- Memory: I did juice feasting                                                    (fear of getting sick)

- Memory: I felt good and light

- Memory: I saw a man in a youtube video surviving just eating fruits

- Memory: My dad had an illness so i visited him one day and was surprised to know that he was just eating fruits, he looked 10 years younger his age and he's healed from his illness

- Memory: Decided to eat only fruits

- Memory: I felt light and I looked younger

- Memory: I saw a man in a youtube video teaching personal fitness and running very fast who claimed he was a breatharian

- Memory: I wanted to know if the body still has energy even when it's not getting food

- Memory: I researched about inedia and breatharianism

- Memory: I found out Lao Tzu who i traced as the proponent of 'Taoism' - is the proponent of Inedia

- Memory: I found out that he just disappeared and connected that to 'immortality'

- Memory: Where i work, they started a weightloss contest

- Memory: I decided to test not eating nor drinking for 3 1/2 days   

- Memory: I started fasting without water nor food once a week and then twice a week, 2 1/2 days a week and then 3 1/2 consecutive days not eating nor drinking    (fear of not surviving without  food and water/fear of death)

- Memory: I found out my body only wants to sleep for 2 hrs and has all the energy throughout the day to do what needs to be done

- Memory: I found out i can run faster when i was not eating - also feeling so light -  than when i was eating

- Memory: I was mesmerized by these new found 'feats'

- Memory:  I considered myself 'special' believing that the majority of people eats food and i didn't - believing they were 'normal and i was special'

- Memory: I found out my body is beginning to adopt to not eating on the third day of the 'no water no food fast'

- Memory: I fear sickness and death - so it came up and i saw myself fearing not being able to eat for a long period of time

- Memory: I heard someone saying that breatharianism is a 'mind energetic bullshit'

- Memory: I fear continuing my fast                                         (fear of getting sick/death)

- Memory: I stopped

I am presently doing self-forgiveness for my fears and correcting myself in my living

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