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Monday, January 14, 2013

Redefining Breatharianism: Food or No Food? Day 49 Correcting Myself


I am bringing a memory back here of when i did not eat nor drink for 3 1/2 days - to look at my fear of being sick and my fear of death as the one directing me in my choice of food. So, let's look at the following points:

*Differentiating between people who are eating food and those who are not eating food like those practicing 'inedia' and those who are practicing breatharianism

a. 'Classifying people' as 'good or bad' depending on whether they eat or 'not eat'
I started giving a positive value to breatharians as i was mesmerized by the lightness i experienced and the 2 hour sleep pattern.

b. Giving a value to 'how i feel' and 'how i look' after i stopped eating
* believing that 'if i experience or feel good' without eating anything for 3 1/2 days - 'that feeling or experience is REAL'.

Not seeing/realising that i am living the fears i had in the past, in the present within me 'desiring to be breatharian'. So i am walking back and bringing the memory  back here so i can look at my Fear of being sick and my Fear of death:

Note: I will highlight the relevant part of the story line with pink

A Copy of 

My Food Programming

- Memory:I was born to this world without an assurance that i will get the basic necessities i need to survive. 
- Memory: I fear surviving in this world of competition and self-interest. 
- Memory: I cried and when my mom heard me cry, she came and fed me mother's milk
- Memory: My family fed me anything that was available for me to survive and i ate it
- Memory:  I saw them cooking and eating food so i tasted it and liked the taste of it so i ate what was served on the table
- Memory: I liked meat when i was young specifically 'humba' ( pigs knuckles in a Philippine 'humba' sauce) - a dish my mother cooked for me) so i ate more of it and other foods that was given to me
- Memory: To forget my fears,  i entertained myself with food
- Memory: I heard a story where my grandmother was telling me that when i was young, she was so angry to see a cockroach very near me while she was watching me as i was sick and dying in the hospital. She said that happened when she was ' praying to God to save my life and at the same time imploring him to take my life and not let me suffer if it was not meant for me to survive'.
- Memory: when i wasabout 7 -8 yrs old, i felt weak, lying down on bed having a flu and taking  medicine that had a 'bad taste' when i was young living with my grandmother
- Memory: when i was in high school i was having heart pains -then was told by a doctor that i have 'angina', a mild form of heart disease which the 'specialist' dismissed as 'nothing' after he tested my heart and  advised me to just play outdoors' - yet in my mind i had this fear of getting sick and dying which i kept to myself
- Memory: I did yoga and meditation                                     (fear of getting sick)
- Memory: I heard and read that the 'sentient vegetarian diet' (a vegetarian diet without onions, garlic, mushroom and eggs) was a healthy diet 
- Memory: I  was invited to a sentient vegetarian dinner where they were talking about health
- Memory: I adopted a 'sentient' cooked vegetarian diet - believing that food like mushroom, garlic, onion, meat, fish etc.  has  'negative energy' in them' and that generally vegetables, fruits, nuts, milk, butter have positive energy in them (as the guru said so )
- Memory: I learned how to cook a 'tasty' vegetarian diet
- Memory: I believed that the vegetarian diet is 'better than' a carnivorous diet - believing it is a 'healthy diet'
- Memory:  I practiced the 'sentient vegetarian diet' for 29 years and believed the sentient vegetarian diet is  healthy and that it is the diet of spiritual people or highly evolved people
- Memory: I attended a vegan get-together and saw a film where the doctor took solidified fat inside a man's artery
- Memory: Fear going to the hospital - fear of being operated on, fear of pain, fear of sickness, fear of death
- Memory: I did not like the diet - as it tasted bland 
- Memory: Disregarded my fear of eating bland food because i know i can make the food taste good 
- Memory: I adopted a vegan diet                                         (fear of getting sick)
- Memory: I ate in a restaurant and tasted raw' tasty' food
- Memory: I researched about raw food
- Memory: I read that raw food can heal people's illnesses
- Memory: I took knowledge and information that i have heard and seen from the media as my truth 
- Memory: I learned how to make raw foods                       (fear of getting sick) 
- Memory: I adopted a raw food diet
- Memory: It tasted good
- Memory: I 'felt good and looked good' after eating 100% raw food
- Memory: I equated eating 100% raw food to 'being the best diet in the planet'
- Memory: Some of my raw food friends started juice feasting
- Memory: I researched about juice feasting
- Memory: I read that it can remove toxins in the intestine
- Memory: I did juice feasting                                                    (fear of getting sick)
- Memory: I felt good and light
- Memory: I saw a man in a youtube video surviving just eating fruits
- Memory: My dad had an illness so i visited him one day and was surprised to know that he was just eating fruits, he looked 10 years younger his age and he's healed from his illness
- Memory: Decided to eat only fruits
- Memory: I felt light and I looked younger
- Memory: I saw a man in a youtube video teaching personal fitness and running very fast who claimed he was a breatharian
- Memory: I wanted to know if the body still has energy even when it's not getting food
- Memory: I researched about inedia and breatharianism
- Memory: I found out Lao Tzu who i traced as the proponent of 'Taoism' - is the proponent of Inedia
- Memory: I found out that he just disappeared and connected that to 'immortality'
- Memory: Where i work, they started a weightloss contest
- Memory: I decided to test not eating nor drinking for 3 1/2 days   
- Memory: I started fasting without water nor food once a week and then twice a week, 2 1/2 days a week and then 3 1/2 consecutive days not eating nor drinking    (fear of not surviving without  food and water/fear of death)
- Memory: I found out my body only wants to sleep for 2 hrs and has all the energy throughout the day to do what needs to be done
- Memory: I found out i can run faster when i was not eating - also feeling so light -  than when i was eating
- Memory: I was mesmerized by these new found 'feats'
- Memory:  I considered myself 'special' believing that the majority of people ate food and i didn't - believing they were 'normal and i was special'
- Memory: I found out my body is beginning to adopt to not eating on the third day of the 'no water no food fast'
- Memory: I feared not being able to eat for a long period of time believing that i do not know 
how to live like that - fearing  my life will be in danger and no one will be able to help me because everyone eats,thinking that if ever i get sick, the doctors in the hospital will ask me to eat and my body will not be able to take the food and so will be compromised, fearing that i might die
- Memory: I heard someone saying that breatharianism is a 'mind energetic bullshit'
- Memory: I fear continuing my fast                                 (fear of getting sick/death)
- Memory: I stopped

This clearly shows me that my decision to 'not eat' was directed by my FEAR of not surviving when there's no food to eat nor water to drink

I was mesmerized thinking that i can be immortal when i become breatharian and considered at that point that that is the 'best state' -i believed at that point that to live without eating nor drinking is being 'immortal' - believing that i will vanish like Lao Tzu and skip death.

I believed that  because my body only wanted to sleep for 2 hrs, and that it remained awake and 'feels energized even without food' -  is a sign that this is leading me to immortality - to something 'special' 

Not realizing that this desire to be immortal came from my Fear of not surviving when there's no water to drink nor food to eat

I was running away from my 'Fear of survival and going for the opposite polarity, which is Desire to be Immortal and Desire to live even without food nor water 

I realised this is me DECIDING from a starting point of FEAR.

I am presently doing self-forgiveness for my fears and correcting myself in my living 

To be continued

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