From Healthy Eating To Practical Eating

From Healthy Eating To Practical Eating
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Tuesday, January 15, 2013

Texture of Pumpkin 4 Connected to Texture of Feces Day 50 Backchat



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Self-forgiveness

Backchat: 
 'Nah, i don't like to eat that'

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself 
to  participate in the design of/as  ' fear of survival - as texture' 


coming from a belief that
i will not survive if and when i eat a boiled mushy pumpkin 

connecting the texture of the pumpkin to being sick and dying
within my mind

 through this  

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself 
to  extend the thought and the imagination 
to a backchat or internal conversation

where i use words separate from me 
 within and as my mind

having internal conversations
saying  'Nah, i don't like to eat that'

 when i see a boiled mashed pumpkin
on the table

having a memory of me in the toilet seeing 
the texture of the feces inside the toilet bowl
connecting that memory of the texture of the feces
to the texture of the boiled mashed pumpkin

where i connected the odor of the feces
to the texture of the feces 

connecting the texture of the feces to the texture of the boiled mushy pumpkin 
then
connecting the (bad) smell of feces to the texture of the mushy pumpkin

connecting the  (bad) smell of the feces to the bad smell of the medicine
 that my grandmother gives me when i was sick

connecting the bad  smell of the medicine to puking
connecting puking to weakness
connecting weakness to sickness
and connecting sickness to death 

as me as the mind connects the feces to sickness and death
 the value of the pumpkin 'deflates further'
creating a relationship with the pumpkin 
and experience the pumpkin in a 'negative way'

Through this

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to connecting the pumpkin to the

following
bad smell of feces
bad smell of medicine my grandmother gave me when i was sick when i was young
weakness
being sick
death
where
i separated from the word pumpkin 
and charged the word pumpkin with a negative value

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself 

to doubt myself and become uncertain about who i am
when i see a mushy pumpkin
believing i will split myself into 2
the self that exists eternally
and the one that will die
as i connect the texture of the boiled mushy pumpkin with 
fear of getting sick - and fear of dying 

Through this

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to 
blame the physical for creating differences in texture 
within spite
so spiting the mushy texture of the pumpkin
believing this will lead to me dying
as i connected the mushy texture of the pumpkin to feces, sickness and death

Through this


I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself 

to have the excuse that i have to survive 
believing that i should not eat the mushy pumpkin to exist eternally
believing i will die if i will get weak, get sick and die when i eat it

Through this

i forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to
justify not wanting to eat the pumpkin
by saying 'i have to be whole'
to survive/exist eternally
believing that if i will not eat the mushy pumpkin
i will survive/exist eternally
as i connected the mushy texture of the pumpkin 
with feces, sickness and death

instead of seeing and realising that

the mushy pumpkin consist of the same atoms
all food items are made of
as everything that is here consist of

not realising that if i stop participating in this internal conversation
and see what is here in this physical existence
I will see that all are made of atoms
All having a value  equal to/ as  Life
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I commit myself to when and as i see myself having a backchat about the 
mushy texture of the pumpkin 

I stop - i breathe'

I realise i have connected the word pumpkin to other words 
which i had given  negative values to 
deflating the value i gave the pumpkin
which led to me 
having internal conversations 
as in 
 'Nah, i don't like to eat that'

So, i assist myself to bring myself back here
and see the common sense that we consist of the same atoms
so we have to Live this one life as equals
and assist in establishing a world that truly honors All Life
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I commit myself to live the redefined meaning of the word pumpkin
and flag point myself when and as i see myself  attending a gathering 
having mushy pumpkin on the table

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Mathematics of Giving Positive and Negative Values 
Vs
Giving values Equal to Life

I realised that the values i gave the pumpkin 


as an example of these  values  :

texture of feces = -100


texture of pumpkin = texture of feces  = -100
texture of feces = bad smell = -100
Bad smell = the medicine my grandmother gave me when i was sick  = -90
medicine with a bad smell  = puking
puking = weakness
weakness = death
texture of mushy pumpkin = death
pumpkin =  -10

instead of realizing that 
the values i gave
the pumpkin
was not a real  value
as i gave the  value within and as my mind 

instead of realising that the real value of the pumpkin

is equal to life 

Pumpkin = Life


and will be clearly seen by me

when i stop participating in my mind 
looking at what is here in this physical reality






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