Texture of Pumpkin 4 Connected to Texture of Feces Day 50 Backchat

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SELF-FORGIVENESS

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Mathematics of Life

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This Blog is a continuation of this blog :

http://foodandnutritionjunejourneytolife.blogspot.com/2012/12/texture-of-pumpkin-and-texture-of-feces.html

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Self-forgiveness

Backchat: 

 'Nah, i don't like to eat that'

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself 

to  participate in the design of/as  ' fear of survival - as texture' 

coming from a belief that

i will not survive if and when i eat a boiled mushy pumpkin 

connecting the texture of the pumpkin to being sick and dying

within my mind

 through this  

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself 

to  extend the thought and the imagination 

to a backchat or internal conversation

where i use words separate from me 
 within and as my mind

having internal conversations

saying  'Nah, i don't like to eat that'

 when i see a boiled mashed pumpkin

on the table

having a memory of me in the toilet seeing 

the texture of the feces inside the toilet bowl

connecting that memory of the texture of the feces

to the texture of the boiled mashed pumpkin

where i connected the odor of the feces

to the texture of the feces 

connecting the texture of the feces to the texture of the boiled mushy pumpkin 

then

connecting the (bad) smell of feces to the texture of the mushy pumpkin

connecting the  (bad) smell of the feces to the bad smell of the medicine

 that my grandmother gives me when i was sick

connecting the bad  smell of the medicine to puking
connecting puking to weakness
connecting weakness to sickness

and connecting sickness to death 

as me as the mind connects the feces to sickness and death

 the value of the pumpkin 'deflates further'

creating a relationship with the pumpkin 

and experience the pumpkin in a 'negative way'

Through this

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to connecting the pumpkin to the
following
bad smell of feces
bad smell of medicine my grandmother gave me when i was sick when i was young
weakness
being sick
death
where
i separated from the word pumpkin 
and charged the word pumpkin with a negative value

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself 
to doubt myself and become uncertain about who i am
when i see a mushy pumpkin
believing i will split myself into 2
the self that exists eternally
and the one that will die
as i connect the texture of the boiled mushy pumpkin with 
fear of getting sick - and fear of dying 

Through this
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to 
blame the physical for creating differences in texture 
within spite
so spiting the mushy texture of the pumpkin
believing this will lead to me dying
as i connected the mushy texture of the pumpkin to feces, sickness and death

Through this

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself 
to have the excuse that i have to survive 
believing that i should not eat the mushy pumpkin to exist eternally
believing i will die if i will get weak, get sick and die when i eat it

Through this
i forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to
justify not wanting to eat the pumpkin
by saying 'i have to be whole'
to survive/exist eternally
believing that if i will not eat the mushy pumpkin
i will survive/exist eternally
as i connected the mushy texture of the pumpkin 
with feces, sickness and death

instead of seeing and realising that
the mushy pumpkin consist of the same atoms
all food items are made of
as everything that is here consist of

not realising that if i stop participating in this internal conversation
and see what is here in this physical existence
I will see that all are made of atoms
All having a value  equal to/ as  Life
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I commit myself to when and as i see myself having a backchat about the 
mushy texture of the pumpkin 

I stop - i breathe'

I realise i have connected the word pumpkin to other words 

which i had given  negative values to 

deflating the value i gave the pumpkin

which led to me 

having internal conversations 

as in 

 'Nah, i don't like to eat that'

So, i assist myself to bring myself back here
and see the common sense that we consist of the same atoms
so we have to Live this one life as equals
and assist in establishing a world that truly honors All Life
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I commit myself to live the redefined meaning of the word pumpkin

and flag point myself when and as i see myself  attending a gathering 

having mushy pumpkin on the table

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Mathematics of Giving Positive and Negative Values 
Vs
Giving values Equal to Life

I realised that the values i gave the pumpkin 

as an example of these  values  :
texture of feces = -100

texture of pumpkin = texture of feces  = -100

texture of feces = bad smell = -100

Bad smell = the medicine my grandmother gave me when i was sick  = -90

medicine with a bad smell  = puking
puking = weakness
weakness = death

texture of mushy pumpkin = death

pumpkin =  -10

instead of realizing that 

the values i gave
the pumpkin

was not a real  value

as i gave the  value within and as my mind 

instead of realising that the real value of the pumpkin
is equal to life 

Pumpkin = Life

and will be clearly seen by me
when i stop participating in my mind 
looking at what is here in this physical reality

Redefining The Pumpkin Day 45

THE Word 'PUMPKIN'

The Word 'Pumpkin' and The Words i Connected It To
 http://foodandnutritionjunejourneytolife.blogspot.com/2012/11/the-word-pumpkin-connected-to.html
 

I realized that the definition i am giving this word reflects how i view myself , others and this world and accordingly, this is how i experience the word.

So, i am redefining the word 'pumpkin' and give it a definition i can live as who i really am - equal to all - as Life.

The pumpkin is being used during holidays to celebrate events where we can get a positive energy experience. It is also being used in competitions where people are awarded for their talent in carving a pumpkin. This is using the pumpkin within self-interest - and not seeing the pumpkin as an equal.

Even in definitions given by us (as the mind),  we can see the inequality that exist between humans and plants.

Source: Wikipedia

A pumpkin is a gourd-like squash of the genus Cucurbita and the family Cucurbitaceae (which also includes gourds).^[1] It commonly refers to cultivars of any one of the species Cucurbita pepo, Cucurbita mixta, Cucurbita maxima, and Cucurbita moschata, and is native to North America. They typically have a thick, orange or yellow shell, creased from the stem to the bottom, containing the seeds and pulp. Pumpkins are widely grown for commercial use, and are used both in food and recreation.

Redefining the Word 'Pumpkin'

A pumpkin is a gourd-like squash of the genus Cucurbita and the family Cucurbitaceae - native to North America. They typically express have a thick, orange or yellow shell, creased from the stem to the bottom, containing the seeds and pulp.

The body/physical of the pumpkin consist of atoms - equal to the atoms the body/physical of the earth consist of - equal to the atoms the body/physical of animals consist of - equal to the atoms the body/physical of humans consist of. 

Realizing that the atoms consist of substance equal to/as Life.

Plants are here to give up its life so the body/physical of humans can survive. So, let's not abuse the pumpkin.

The pumpkin is our equal

We have to live this truth

Texture of Pumpkin and Texture of Feces 3 Day 39 Fear Dimension

  

About Writing/Blogging

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Store

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SELF-FORGIVENESS

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My main Blog Site:

http://junejourneytolife.blogspot.com/

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The Mathematics of Life  

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In my last blog, I wrote about the imagination dimension/layer of when i see the  cooked mushy pumpkin on the table.

In this blog, I am looking at my fear - when in front of the mushy pumpkin.

 I am using elementary mathematics to show how I 'subtract value' to the pumpkin  instead of seeing its real value as equal to Life.

I am using self-forgiveness,  writing a commitment script and moving myself breath by breath moment by moment  to correct myself  as i birth myself as equal to and one with Life.

Self-forgiveness

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself

 'as fear of survival - as texture' 

fear the mushy texture of feces 

as i connected it to the  bad smell of feces

where i connected the mushy texture of the feces 
to the mushy texture of the pumpkin

where i connected the feces to 

virus and bacteria

connecting the texture of the pumpkin

to fear of getting sick

connecting sickness to 

fear of death

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Mathematics of Giving Positive and Negative Values
Vs 
Giving Value = Life

I realised that i equated the following

mushy texture of the pumpkin = mushy texture of feces
mushy texture of feces = bad smell
bad smell = virus and bacteria
virus and bacteria = sickness
sickness = bad taste of medicine
bad taste = negative energy experience
medicine = doctors and nurses
doctors and nurses = hospital
hospital = suffering/pain
suffering/pain = death

where mushy texture of feces = -10
bad smell of feces = -10
virus and bacteria in feces = -10
feces will cause sickness = - 10
bad taste of medicine (when sick) = -10
medicine ('is for sick people') = -10
( sickness leads to) death = -10

where

me as the mind equated
mushy texture of pumpkin = -70

not realizing 

the feces = Life
the pumpkin = Life

and that Life manifests and expresses itself within/as texture 

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where within this 

i am blaming the physical/substance
within spite 

for expressing/manifesting 
as taste

as smell

as texture

 -

I forgive myself that i have accepted and  allowed myself 

to blame the physical/substance

for how it expresses itself here

as the mushy texture of pumpkin when boiled 

as i connected the mushy texture of pumpkin to the texture of feces

when i have loose bowel movement

which reminds me of a 'negative energy experience'

as fear of losing strength after i puke

NOT seeing/realizing what happens when i participate in FEAR

not seeing that this energy i use when i participate in fear

comes from the powerhouse 

which is the body 

 resourcing the physical 

taking nutrients from the cell

and transforming it to mind energy

where the food  i eat to nourish the body 

is being used to feed the mind

as i Fear the mushy texture of pumpkin,

as i connect the mushy texture of pumpkin to the mushy texture of feces

as i think

as i  imagine

as i react

as i have back chats/internal conversations

using the mind to manipulate the body when i see a mushy boiled pumpkin

 as i get a queasy stomach
 and as i look away when i see it

to justify my desire for a positive energy experience

 running away and not looking at my fears

not realizing  i can self-forgive and correct myself in my daily application of myself

freeing myself from the limitation that i have imposed on myself

 and walking myself from my definitions based on
positive and negative values
positive and negative relationships
positive and negative experiences

changing my definitions based on information and knowledge separate from me

to definitions i can live as who i am in this physical existence
changing relationships i formed
based on giving everything and everyone
a positive and negative mind value
to real physical relationships
with/as everything and everyone

giving all a value equal to Life

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The Pumpkin Mathematics

Giving a Mind Value vs Giving Value Equal To Life

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For giving a negative value to mushy texture 

as in

Mushy texture =  no sound entertainment when i eat it = -10

giving a positive value for crunchy texture

(Crunchy Texture = Sound entertainment when i eat chips = +10)

i did not see, realize or understand that 

giving a positive and a negative values to texture

is abuse of Life

as texture is an expression of the physical/substance

so i am forgiving myself for giving positive and negative values to texture

and to instead give texture a value equal to Life

Texture = Life

where Mushy texture = Life

where Crunchy Texture = Life

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Commitment to Correction

I commit myself to when and as i see myself fearing the mushy texture of pumpkin

I stop

I breathe

I bring myself back here and stabilize me as breath

clap my hands

or stomp my feet

and accept and allow myself to establish a real relationship with my body

and establish real relationship with the body of the pumpkin 

as it is a plant

whose body/physical/substance

 is equal to my body's/physical/substance

is equal to the  body/physical/substance of nature

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I commit myself to assist myself to accept and allow myself to 

see the real value of the pumpkin

and give the body of pumpkin value equal to life 

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Cooked Pumpkin Pie Mathematics: Quesy Stomach Part 6 Day 38 : Behaviour Dimension: Texture, Smell and Taste

  

About Writing/Blogging

===

Store

===

SELF-FORGIVENESS

===

My main Blog Site:

http://junejourneytolife.blogspot.com/

===

The Mathematics of Life  

===

In my last blog, I wrote about the reaction dimension/layer of when i see the  pumpkin pie on the table.

In this blog, I am looking at my behavior- quesy stomach. looking away - when in front of the pumpkin pie.

 I am using elementary mathematics to show how I 'subtract value' to the pumpkin pie instead of seeing its real value as equal to Life.

I am using self-forgiveness,  writing a commitment script and moving myself breath by breath moment by moment  to correct myself  as i birth myself as equal to and one with Life.

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Behavior Dimension

Self-forgiveness

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself 

to not see how much the mind or energy

 can change the body 

with the amount of adrenalin and nervousness that my

'fear of getting fat'  

and 'fear of mushy texture'

manifest in the body 

when i see a cooked pumpkin pie

where i use the mind 

to manipulate the body

to justify my desires within blame

blaming the pumpkin pie 

for causing a quesy stomach, so looking away

not realizing it is me as the mind

connecting the texture of the pumpkin 

to the texture of feces 

connecting it to bad smell

connecting it to bad taste

'fearing a negative experience' 

activating a memory  of when i saw feces 

and 

the 'bad smell' that

i connected to garbage

which i connected to virus and bacteria

which i connected to being sick etc.

activating the characters within my mind

which originated from my 'fear of feces and fear of fat'

Fear of feces as

'fear of bad smell'
'fear of mushy texture'
'fear of no distinct shape'
 'fear of bad taste'
'fear of bacteria'
'fear of excreted body waste'
'fear of death/not existing'
'fear of sickness'
'fear of viruses'
'fear of being useless'
'fear of being helpless'
'fear of negative energy experience'

Fear of Fat as

 'fear of not being desired'
 'fear of being inferior'
'fear of not having a relationship'

 ' fear of being alone'

  'fear of being sad'
'fear of being  not having sex'

'fear of not being able to dress up and attend events'

'fear of being useless'

 'fear of being helpless'
'fear of not existing as the mind character that i believe i am'
'fear of a negative energy experience'

fears that i do not want to face
as the evil me 
fearing a negative energy experience

wanting the easy way out


running from my fears 


to rather experience a 'positive energy experience'

so looking at my desires 

as

desire to be healthy
 desire to be happy 

desire to eat tasty food
 desire for good smelling food 
desire for crunchy food 
 desire for the crispy crunchy sound
desire to survive as the mind character/personality

not realizing i am here as breath

in every moment

able to stop participating in my mind
able to face my fears and stop my desires

able to change and stand as self 
for what is best for all life

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The Mathematics of

Giving Positive and Negative Mind Values vs  Giving Value Equal To Life

Physical Behavior:

Quesy stomach. looking away

I realized  the value i am  giving the cooked pumpkin  pie 

is a mind value which is not real

as i created it within my mind

as i connect the pumpkin pie to my fears

connecting the pumpkin pie's texture to 

 the texture of feces

giving the feces value equal to -10
(minus 1 being the least amount of negative energy experience
and -10 being the most amount of negative energy experience)

as i connect the texture of the 'pumpkin pie' to texture of feces as  'fear of feces'

(-1) fear of bad smell
(-2) fear of mushy texture
(-3) fear of bad taste
(-4) fear of bacteria
(-5) fear of excreted body waste 
(-6) fear of death
(-7) fear of sickness
(-8) fear of the virus 
(-9) fear of being useless
(-10)fear of being helpless

giving fat a value equal to -10

(minus 1 being the least amount of negative energy experience
and -10 being the most amount of negative energy experience)

as i connect the pumpkin pie to 'fear of getting fat' 

(-1) 'fear of not being desired'
(-2) 'fear of being inferior'

(-3) 'fear of not having a relationship'

(-4) ' fear of being alone'

(-5)  'fear of being sad'
(-6)  fear of being  not having sex

(-7) fear of not being able to dress up and attend events

(-8) fear of being useless

(-9)  fear of being helpless
(-10) 'fear of not existing as the mind character that i believe i am'

instead of 

giving the cooked pumpkin pie a value equal to Life

as in

Pumpkin pie = Life

as it is made of pumpkin 

which is a plant

as plants are a part of life so it has a value equal to Life

looking at the role of fat in the body

as Fat supports the physical body in maintaining temperature etc.

giving Fat a value = Life

  ===

I commit myself to when and as i see myself using the mind to manipulate the body to justify my desires within blame

I stop

I breathe

I realize that i am blaming the pumpkin pie for making my stomach quesy

in essence blaming the physical/substance

when it is me participating in my mind within fear

as the evil me resourcing substance transforming nutrients to energy

for use by the mind

So i am assisting myself to look at these fears

and accept and allow myself

 to establish an equal and one relationship with the physical body

and have real communication with/as the physical body 

to see what food it responds to

to assist the body to survive optimally