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In my last blog, I wrote about the imagination dimension/layer of when i see the cooked mushy pumpkin on the table.
In this blog, I am looking at my fear - when in front of the mushy pumpkin.
I am using elementary mathematics to show how I 'subtract value' to the pumpkin instead of seeing its real value as equal to Life.
I am using self-forgiveness, writing a commitment script and moving myself breath by breath moment by moment to correct myself as i birth myself as equal to and one with Life.
Self-forgiveness
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself
'as fear of survival - as texture'
fear the mushy texture of feces
as i connected it to the bad smell of feces
where i connected the mushy texture of the feces
to the mushy texture of the pumpkin
where i connected the feces to
virus and bacteria
connecting the texture of the pumpkin
to fear of getting sick
connecting sickness to
fear of death
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Mathematics of Giving Positive and Negative Values
Vs
Giving Value = Life
I realised that i equated the following
mushy texture of the pumpkin = mushy texture of feces
mushy texture of feces = bad smell
bad smell = virus and bacteria
virus and bacteria = sickness
sickness = bad taste of medicine
bad taste = negative energy experience
medicine = doctors and nurses
doctors and nurses = hospital
hospital = suffering/pain
suffering/pain = death
where mushy texture of feces = -10
bad smell of feces = -10
virus and bacteria in feces = -10
feces will cause sickness = - 10
bad taste of medicine (when sick) = -10
medicine ('is for sick people') = -10
( sickness leads to) death = -10
where
me as the mind equated
mushy texture of pumpkin = -70
not realizing
the feces = Life
the pumpkin = Life
and that Life manifests and expresses itself within/as texture
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where within this
i am blaming the physical/substance
within spite
for expressing/manifesting
as taste
as smell
as texture
-
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself
to blame the physical/substance
for how it expresses itself here
as the mushy texture of pumpkin when boiled
as i connected the mushy texture of pumpkin to the texture of feces
when i have loose bowel movement
which reminds me of a 'negative energy experience'
as fear of losing strength after i puke
NOT seeing/realizing what happens when i participate in FEAR
not seeing that this energy i use when i participate in fear
comes from the powerhouse
which is the body
resourcing the physical
taking nutrients from the cell
and transforming it to mind energy
where the food i eat to nourish the body
is being used to feed the mind
as i Fear the mushy texture of pumpkin,
as i connect the mushy texture of pumpkin to the mushy texture of feces
as i think
as i imagine
as i react
as i have back chats/internal conversations
using the mind to manipulate the body when i see a mushy boiled pumpkin
as i get a queasy stomach
and as i look away when i see it
to justify my desire for a positive energy experience
running away and not looking at my fears
not realizing i can self-forgive and correct myself in my daily application of myself
freeing myself from the limitation that i have imposed on myself
and walking myself from my definitions based on
positive and negative values
positive and negative relationships
positive and negative experiences
changing my definitions based on information and knowledge separate from me
to definitions i can live as who i am in this physical existence
changing relationships i formed
based on giving everything and everyone
a positive and negative mind value
to real physical relationships
with/as everything and everyone
giving all a value equal to Life
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The Pumpkin Mathematics
Giving a Mind Value vs Giving Value Equal To Life
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For giving a negative value to mushy texture
as in
Mushy texture = no sound entertainment when i eat it = -10
giving a positive value for crunchy texture
(Crunchy Texture = Sound entertainment when i eat chips = +10)
i did not see, realize or understand that
giving a positive and a negative values to texture
is abuse of Life
as texture is an expression of the physical/substance
so i am forgiving myself for giving positive and negative values to texture
and to instead give texture a value equal to Life
Texture = Life
where Mushy texture = Life
where Crunchy Texture = Life
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Commitment to Correction
I commit myself to when and as i see myself fearing the mushy texture of pumpkin
I stop
I breathe
I bring myself back here and stabilize me as breath
clap my hands
or stomp my feet
and accept and allow myself to establish a real relationship with my body
and establish real relationship with the body of the pumpkin
as it is a plant
whose body/physical/substance
is equal to my body's/physical/substance
is equal to the body/physical/substance of nature
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I commit myself to assist myself to accept and allow myself to
see the real value of the pumpkin
and give the body of pumpkin value equal to life
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