Living E-book

Friday, December 7, 2012

Texture of Pumpkin and Texture of Feces 3 Day 39 Fear Dimension


In my last blog, I wrote about the imagination dimension/layer of when i see the  cooked mushy pumpkin on the table.
In this blog, I am looking at my fear - when in front of the mushy pumpkin.
 I am using elementary mathematics to show how I 'subtract value' to the pumpkin  instead of seeing its real value as equal to Life.
I am using self-forgiveness,  writing a commitment script and moving myself breath by breath moment by moment  to correct myself  as i birth myself as equal to and one with Life.


I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself

 'as fear of survival - as texture' 

fear the mushy texture of feces 

as i connected it to the  bad smell of feces

where i connected the mushy texture of the feces 
to the mushy texture of the pumpkin

where i connected the feces to 

virus and bacteria

connecting the texture of the pumpkin

to fear of getting sick

connecting sickness to 

fear of death

Mathematics of Giving Positive and Negative Values
Giving Value = Life

I realised that i equated the following

mushy texture of the pumpkin = mushy texture of feces
mushy texture of feces = bad smell
bad smell = virus and bacteria
virus and bacteria = sickness
sickness = bad taste of medicine
bad taste = negative energy experience
medicine = doctors and nurses
doctors and nurses = hospital
hospital = suffering/pain
suffering/pain = death

where mushy texture of feces = -10
bad smell of feces = -10
virus and bacteria in feces = -10
feces will cause sickness = - 10
bad taste of medicine (when sick) = -10
medicine ('is for sick people') = -10
( sickness leads to) death = -10


me as the mind equated
mushy texture of pumpkin = -70

not realizing 

the feces = Life
the pumpkin = Life

and that Life manifests and expresses itself within/as texture 


where within this 

i am blaming the physical/substance
within spite 

for expressing/manifesting 
as taste

as smell

as texture


I forgive myself that i have accepted and  allowed myself 

to blame the physical/substance

for how it expresses itself here

as the mushy texture of pumpkin when boiled 

as i connected the mushy texture of pumpkin to the texture of feces

when i have loose bowel movement

which reminds me of a 'negative energy experience'

as fear of losing strength after i puke

NOT seeing/realizing what happens when i participate in FEAR

not seeing that this energy i use when i participate in fear

comes from the powerhouse 

which is the body 

 resourcing the physical 

taking nutrients from the cell

and transforming it to mind energy

where the food  i eat to nourish the body 

is being used to feed the mind

as i Fear the mushy texture of pumpkin,

as i connect the mushy texture of pumpkin to the mushy texture of feces

as i think

as i  imagine

as i react

as i have back chats/internal conversations

using the mind to manipulate the body when i see a mushy boiled pumpkin

 as i get a queasy stomach
 and as i look away when i see it

to justify my desire for a positive energy experience

 running away and not looking at my fears

not realizing  i can self-forgive and correct myself in my daily application of myself

freeing myself from the limitation that i have imposed on myself

 and walking myself from my definitions based on
positive and negative values
positive and negative relationships
positive and negative experiences

changing my definitions based on information and knowledge separate from me

to definitions i can live as who i am in this physical existence
changing relationships i formed
based on giving everything and everyone
a positive and negative mind value
to real physical relationships
with/as everything and everyone

giving all a value equal to Life


The Pumpkin Mathematics
Giving a Mind Value vs Giving Value Equal To Life
For giving a negative value to mushy texture 
as in
Mushy texture =  no sound entertainment when i eat it = -10

giving a positive value for crunchy texture

(Crunchy Texture = Sound entertainment when i eat chips = +10)

i did not see, realize or understand that 

giving a positive and a negative values to texture

is abuse of Life

as texture is an expression of the physical/substance

so i am forgiving myself for giving positive and negative values to texture

and to instead give texture a value equal to Life

Texture = Life

where Mushy texture = Life
where Crunchy Texture = Life
Commitment to Correction

I commit myself to when and as i see myself fearing the mushy texture of pumpkin

I stop

I breathe

I bring myself back here and stabilize me as breath

clap my hands

or stomp my feet

and accept and allow myself to establish a real relationship with my body

and establish real relationship with the body of the pumpkin 

as it is a plant

whose body/physical/substance

 is equal to my body's/physical/substance

is equal to the  body/physical/substance of nature

I commit myself to assist myself to accept and allow myself to 

see the real value of the pumpkin

and give the body of pumpkin value equal to life 

No comments:

Post a Comment