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Showing posts with label weightloss. Show all posts
Showing posts with label weightloss. Show all posts

Tuesday, September 10, 2013

Eating When Bored


When i am bored, there is this rush to stand up and go to the refrigerator to look for something to eat. When i cannot find one that i really like, i look for food items available in the house. I then take a memory from my mind of that 'tasty dish' i ate in the past remembering its taste and then taking that memory and the information to make the dish. This is mind directed - a part of a mind program that is controlling me to act in a certain way that will energize the mind. I have to stop accepting and allowing this, because the consequence of this is that the body which is supporting me to express myself here will be unable to survive and will not be able to assist me because the natural energy it produces will be converted by the mind to unnatural energy . The mind will resource the body for energy to survive.

Here is an example of a timeline:

>i am bored
>I need something to eat
>what do we have here in the fridge?
>I open the fridge
>I take food out from the fridge
>I eat the food

What is self-forgiveness?

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to participate in the design of
fear of survival - as texture - as form - as energy

where i participate in a mind design
as the evil me
preoccupying myself with
thoughts, reactions, imaginations etc.
where i go within my mind to think, imagine etc.
losing track of what is here

Fearing that i am bored without tasty food
to eat that will entertain me
so longing/desiring to find/make food or a dish that i like
believing that i have to start looking at the refrigerator
for tasty food
or make one that will entertain my tastebuds
believing that i need totaste a dish that i ate before
looking for a certain taste within my mind - a memory of an
exciting dining experience

the evil me running away from my fear
instead of facing it and finding out where it all started

desiring to eat food that will give me a happy feeling
by eating a combination of food with
crispy texture like chips
and a creamy, cold frozen texture like ice cream
the evil me using food to entertain the mind to win
running away from my fear of being bored
and using food to entertain me as the mind

instead of realizing that i am here as breath able to enjoy
who i am in every moment
cascading through the depths of the physical body
as i inhale and exhale as an expression of me here
moving me, directing me, expressing me

Through this, i forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to
doubt who i am
perceiving i split myself into 2
uncertain whether i am the one
who is entertained by tasty food
or the one who is not entertained by it
needing something to satisfy my desire
instead of realizing that i am here as breath
in every moment as who i am, what i am and how i am

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to be so preoccupied within
my mind as to whether the food that i will eat is tasty or not
and within that miss the expression of the plant or animal in front of me
as the physical/body made of the same substance
the dust of the earth
which my body is made from and all bodies is made from
the dust of the earth - to which all bodies will return
one and equal

Through this, i forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to
blame this physical existence for creating foods that i do not like
which gives me a negative energetic experience
accusing nature and putting the blame on nature
instead of realizing it is nature that sustains life on earth
it is nature that sustains this body
realizing that i am the one creating this need in my mind
to be entertained by food
rather than facing this fear and seeing where it started
so i can stop

where as i take myself by the hand and unconditionally assist myself
walking back, seeing
that it was when i was waiting for my 'crush'
in the elementary grades to notice me
that i ate and ate a lot of the sweets that my great grandmother was cooking
hoping that he would notice me and smile at me and hold my hands
within my mind
i suppressed the feeling

where within that i am waiting for something that will give me
a happy energetic feeling of being loved
using food momentarily to feel good and satisfied

instead of realizing that i am the one that has to stop
to desire a positive energy experience
and instead of blaming another
take self-responsibility for what i accepted and allowed

Through this, i forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to
eat when i am bored even when i am Not hungry, to be entertained
by the taste, temperature and texture of food
instead of realizing that hunger is a signal that my body lacks glucose
and eating is about giving the body food that will support it to get the glucose that it needs
and other nutrients it need.

Through this, I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself
to have the excuse that i want to survive as the personality being entertained by food
believing that survival is about having a happy energetic experience
when eating food
believing that survival is balance in polarity
from a negative pole to a positive pole
instead of realizing i created this personality as the alternate me within my mind
not realizing who i am is here, moving me breath by breath moment by moment

Through this, i forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to
justify my excuse that i have to survive as the personality
that desires to be entertained through food
to be whole
believing that the negative pole is a part of me that is evil
and the positive pole is the part of me that is 'good'
believing that if i embrace that part of me which is good
i will be whole

instead of realizing that wholeness is not about
time travelling within my mind from the negative to the positive pole

Wholeness does not need separation from the source

it is about releasing the positive enrgy
moving the energy
as i breathe in
and i breathe out
letting it go in the outbreath
and realizing who i am Is here
as the breath
so i stabilize me moment by moment

and correct my starting point
From wanting to entertain my mind within eating food
within self-interest
To developing an equal and one relationship with the body
giving the body enough nutrition it needs daily
for it to survive and support  me
to do what i set out to do
standing for what is best for all

I commit myself to when and as i see myself bored and about to open the refrigerator,
I stop. I breathe
I correct my starting point - making sure that i am hungry before i get something to eat
and make sure that i have a food item that will give nourishment for the body and something that the body prefers to eat.



Tuesday, July 2, 2013

Redefining The Word 'Healthy' Day 119

http://budsoflife.org


Parenting:Perfecting The Human Race

In this blog, 
I am sounding the word 'healthy' 
to see how i hear the word within my mind 
how i gave the word a definition 
that is an interpretation of reality

I will redefine it to give it  a meaning 
equal to my expression
one that i can live
as who i am

The Word 'HEALTHY'

'HELL - THY'

HE-ll in an ALT-ernate reality within the mind H-oping for a positive energy experience that Y-ou desire

Redefining The Word 'Healthy'
*redefining the word as equal to my expression as who i am - as someone standing for what is best for all - realizing that what is best for all is also what is best for me

The word 'Healthy' is about enjoying the condition of an organism or one of its parts in which it performs its vital functions normally or properly.

It is giving the body the nutrition it needs to survive optimally.

It is about developing an equal and one relationship with the body realizing i use it to express who i am here.

It is about developing an equal and one relationship with food

We have to realize that selecting what to eat
from the starting point of a belief that it has superior nutrition
than other foods  
or judging a food as having inferior nutrition
as per what we heard or read
giving certain food items a positive or a negative value
based on a belief
is an interpretation of reality
and not what reality really is

The reality is that resourcing the body for energy within mind participation - transforming physicality to energy, where we take from the body the nutrition it needs to survive, is not going to benefit all of us here,  as in this scenario we will be limited by the amount of money we have. So, it is equally important that we create a world that truly honors LIFE. one that is based on equality where survival is guaranteed.

Interpreting reality within our mind has consequence - in 'our within', as the mind and 'our without', as this world system. 

It does not benefit the body.

This process takes natural energy from the body, transforming it to unnatural energy for use by the mind. 

It only benefits the mind.

Giving the word a definition that is aligned to who we really are - as all that is here - as Life  is commonsensical as the definition we give words - is how we see ourselves, others and this world. 
Living the redefined meaning of this word will benefit all.

Monday, July 1, 2013

Redefining The Word Paranoia Day 117



Parenting:Perfecting The Human Race
PARANOIA

I will sound the the word 'PARANOIA
and see how i hear the word within my mind 
giving the word a definition 
that is an interpretation of the essential meaning of the word

Then, i will redefine it to give it  a meaning 
equal to my expression
one that i can live
as who i am

PARA - normal, the NOI-se  that mis- A- ligns what is real


Redefining the word 'Paranoia'
It is the process where one loses touch with reality as one enters the alternate reality within ones mind -  entertaining the noise -the fears, thoughts, backchats etc. and uses that to interpret and define reality - which gives reality a value that is more than or less than what it is.

So, instead of using the noise to interpret reality and give it a value that is more than or less than what reality is, which will not benefit us all, we can look at mapping the noise and looking at how we created the patterns, programs and systems within. 

Seeing this, we are then able to forgive ourselves and correct ourselves - rewriting the script within ourselves to a script that will guide us to live - as who we really are, as all that is here, birthed in this one life - as equals


Thursday, June 20, 2013

The Paranoia of Eating Healthy: Part 2: The Problems Day 114



Parenting:Perfecting The Human Race

This blog is a continuation of The Paranoia of Eating healthy Part 1

http://foodandnutritionjunejourneytolife.blogspot.com/2013/06/the-paranoia-of-eating-healthy-part-1.html

In this post, i am looking at why we have the problems we have in the food industry.

When different people talk about the same thing, and have 2 or more  conflicting views about that same thing/person etc., we know that the mind is involved because the mind works with polarity. 

If one says we can survive by eating healthy food and one says we can survive by not eating food, one says cooked food is better and the other say raw food is better, when one says animal meat is good and the other says no, raw food is better, we know that this is the mind. If we accept these conflicting point of views as true, we will be in a state of doubt and there can be a tendency to rather just eat meat. In the meat industry, there are also those who believe that 'chicken is good while pork and beef  is bad' for example - those who believe that white meat is better than red meat because it has less cholesterol.

We are not stable in how we view food. We see food as separate from us - we see it as something that is here to just give us happiness/satisfaction/fullness/health etc. We do not see food  as part of the whole that is life- when it really is. 

In this confusion, we divided food into categories based on our fear of sickness  (fear of survival) and instead run after what we desire within our idea of 'how we can be healthy'.

If we rely on people's point of views both positive, negative or neutral, which is a mind interpretation of reality, within an alternate reality - as the mind, where we are alternate versions of ourselves, we will have a relationship to that which we are looking at. 

We will interpret what we see, hear etc. We will look at people, things etc. in either a positive, neutral or a negative 'light' according to what we connect/define the word to/within. 

There will be conflict and friction, and that, we can see now. We are in the brink of World War 3  right at this moment i am writing this blog. 

War starts within. 

We will separate ourselves into groups and instead of living life as equals - all in agreement to stand for what is best for all or what will benefit all, we will be at war with one another only thinking about our own self-interest. 

We will exist in a world within a condition of fear, doubt, blame etc., not realizing we are here living life as the breath in every moment interacting with each other in this one life.

So, i would like to look at the problem being this paranoia that is the noise within our mind based from our fears which fuels our desires

This fear is being impulsed by advertising which makes us desire to buy products we mostly don't need.

The problem:

Firstly, the definition of words that we use are based from different people's point of views  

I did not even question this. 
In my research, i found out that words written in the dictionary are words coming from people's point of views

As we participate in the mind and as we use words that had been given a positive value and a negative value, we cannot give the word we use a definition that is without  a charge

We use the words and connect them to and define them within other words, with either a both positive and a negative value. 

As we fear something that will threaten our survival. we connect some words to other words that we have given a positive value, so we can win. We also connect it to other words that we have given a negative value which makes us react to the word in a negative way, experiencing the word in that way. 

When i hear the word 'vegetarian' for example, when i am with my vegetarian friends i 'become happy' knowing that they support me in my decision to be vegetarian - in a way this makes me feel i have won them to agree with me in my decision. 

On the other hand, when i am with people who eats meat, i feel uneasy because i feel they do not support my decision and sees them as a threat to my survival within that decision. We are being impulsed by the media and everyone in our environment through words they speak and write.

So, this will not create a scenario that will benefit all. 

Words has to be redefined as equal to our expression as who we really are- for that which is what is best for all of us in this physical existence - humans, animals, plants etc.

SecondlyResonant State of Stress and Tension based from fear 
Fears which fuels our desires


The Fears:
Fear of Survival/Loss
Fear of being alone
Fear of Death
Fear of Being Sick
Fear of looking bad/ugly
Fear of Pain
Fear of Suffering
Fear of Being Poor
Fear of Difficulty etc.
The DESIRES:
Desire to Survive
Desire to Live
Desire to be Happy
Desire for Eternal Life
Desire for Love and Bliss
Desire for a relationship
Desire to eat different kinds of food
Desire to be Healthy
Desire to be Rich
Desire to work
Desire to be popular etc.

Thirdly, My fears which fuels my desires - are being exploited for money and profit

 "A desire, within Imagination is always the result of some form of brainwashing. If you take that desire and you live it in the physical reality - you will see it never meets your Imagination." - Bernard Poolman

Links to
Decoding My Mind

http://juneroca.com/mathematics-of-life/food-mathematics/my-food-programming/my-mind-patterns/decoding-my-mind/


As businesses use tools to predict what the public want, they can predict my programming (based on my fears and desires) - using surveys etc.

Businesses get money and profit from predicting my fears and my desires, they survey me for what i need/desire and sell them to me for profit

They package goods that i like,  in plastic containers etc. , the way i like (DESIRE)  it
to get me to buy the products for them to get money and profit.

They exploit our fears which fuels our desire to buy products for money and profit.

The present world system feeds our FEARS - as it translate to Money

Within identifying the problem lies the solution.

Rather than look at satisfying our desires - i suggest we look at our fears, investigate where it comes from and take self-responsibility for creating them in our 'within' as the mind and in our 'without' as this world system. 

It will benefit us all to look at what is here in this physical reality because we  can cross-reference  it with everyone.

So, first, let us look at the definition we give words.

'To decide which words to include in the dictionary and to determine what they mean, dictionary editors study the language to determine which words people use most often and how they use them.' Merriam Webster Dictionary

Definitions of words in the dictionary come from people's point of views. The question is, what have these words been connected to and defined within?

Let's look at the definition of the word 'Paranoia'  and see what definition we have given it that express who we have become, so we can then  redefine it to that which is equal to our expression -as who we really are - as part of all that is here - standing for what benefits all of us in this one Life. 

What is the definition/meaning of the word 'paranoia' according to the dictionary?

Here's a dictionary definition of 'Paranoia':

n.
is a psychosis characterized by systematized delusions of persecution or grandeur usually without hallucinations
Reference: http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/paranoia

Here's a Definition of 'Paranoia' that i will use as it gives me the real essence of the word from what i have seen in my investigation of myself:

'Essentially, Paranoia is the process of where you 'lose touch with reality' as you entertain the paranormal / paraNOISE of/as the Mind and then use that to define reality, which really misconstrue reality' Sunette Spies

This noise are the thoughts in my head, the backchats etc. which are normally based from fear. This fear is impulsed by the  external environment, in our homes by our parents, the media etc. for profit. 

People profit from my fear.

So, it is something i want to look at, not run away from.

What is interesting is that i run away from my fears, the very fears which hold the key to me transcending my mind. 

The same fears which fuel my desire are the key to mapping out my mind to eventually understand it and stop. 

Searching for the 'moreness' of me within any diet that will promise me long life, good looks, a good feeling, lightness etc. is futile because the fears are not being looked at and i am not taking self-responsibility for creating then in 'my within' - as the mind and in 'my without' - as this world system.  

So, within this constant 'pulling away from' the fear and 'pushing myself to satisfy my desires', i am developing a relationship to fear

I react to the fear and my body in turn react to that in the form of stress.

There is no way out but to face my fears. I have to face myself. 

Sickness and dis-ease is just the body's way to let me face my fears, so i can transcend my mind. 

I suggest to click the 'join this site' button at the side of this blog to receive the updates.

Continued




Thursday, March 14, 2013

Correcting My Relationship With The Virus Part 5 Weightloss: Day 82 Correction


        



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This is a continuation of this blog:



In this blog, i am doing a self-correction script 

This is just like a movie script
but here, unlike a movie script

i am writing this script of which i am the actress
not separate from the director and the other actors and actresses etc.

but i am both the director and the actress
in the production of this movie
of myself  
looking at the programs and the patterns etc.
of how i created myself 

seeing what is not best for all - is essentially not best for me

So, I am rewriting myself 
to create another script that 
I am writing 
to rescript the movie
that is the book 
within myself
my whole life story

and creating
a new self that 
is not driven by the mind
but rather self-directive
one that i can trust
to stand for what is best for all life always

taking myself by the hand and walking myself 
step by step
guiding myself
in each and every step of the way

correcting myself as i live and express here
in this physical existence

correcting myself
every time i see myself participating in
thoughts, internal conversations, reactions, behavior etc. 

until all is free and Life is here forevermore.

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I will copy the self-forgiveness statement
in the previous blog to give this blog proper context
then i will do the self-commitment script after that
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Self-forgiveness Statement:


I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself 
to participate in the the design of/as 'fear of survival - as thickness - as texture'
 
fear being thin desiring to be in a certain weight range that had been designated as 
acceptable to be considered healthy, living and surviving
 
doubting who i am 
uncertain of whether i am the one who has texture or the one without
 
blaming the physical for creating texture
 
giving the excuse that i have to survive as a person within an acceptable weight range
 
justifying this by saying i need to be whole - and has to be within an acceptable weight range

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Self- Correction Script

I commit myself to when and as i see myself fearing being thin 
I stop
I breathe
i realize that it is my fear of loss - fear of losing this body i am in
that is behind my fear of being thin
to rather than desire being in a certain weight range
that the scientific community accepts 
I assist myself to stabilize me as breath here
where i am stable with (within) or without a body

instead of doubting who i am - texture or no texture
assist myself to redefine
the word 'texture'
and use it equal to my expression
To instead of blaming the physical for creating texture
I assist myself to take self-responsibility and forgive myself for 
giving a positive or a negative value for the word 'texture'
To instead of having an excuse that
'i have to survive as an individual within an acceptable weight range'
assist myself to  accept and allow me to 
see through my physical eyes 
who i am as the physical/body/substance of/as all
and establish an equal and one relationship with all that is here
To through writing, self-forgiveness and self-corrective application
birth me here as who i am, what i am and how i am
To instead of justifying my fear of survival
within wanting to be in an acceptable weight range
assist myself to see that this is balance in polarity
which started from separation 
rather, see that in  wholeness
one does not have to separate from the source

Saturday, January 26, 2013

Raw Food vs Cooked Food: The Mathematics of Feeling Light or Heavy Day 58 Fear




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In this blog, i am looking at 'feeling light' and 'feeling heavy' when eating raw food and cooked food. I am writing self-forgiveness statements to release the positive and negative charge i connected to raw food and cooked food within my mind and correct myself in my living.

The mathematical symbols and examples of mind values  will be highlighted using the color pink.

Note: The redefinition of the words cooked and raw will be done in blogs to come
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Self=forgiveness Statements

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to participate in the design of/as 'fear of survival - as energy' fear feeling bad waking up in the morning believing that i feel heavy/bad from eating cooked food
the night before - desiring to eat raw food believing that when i eat raw food the day before
i feel light/good when i wake up in the morning defining myself within feeling light/good and feeling heavy/bad - instead of realizing it is me as the mind giving lightness a positive value and giving heaviness a negative value within my mind - within the belief that feeling light is good and feeling heavy is bad

Through this i forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to doubt who i am believing i split myself into 2 - the one feeling good and the one feeling bad - believing that the one feeling bad is the ego and the one feeling good is the self - instead of realizing that positive and negative energies are unnatural energies
 coming from the natural energies the body produce

Through this, i forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to  fear feeling bad as i programmed myself to thinking i have to feel good all the time believing that life is about happiness, looking good and feeling good and death is about sadness, looking bad and feeling bad.

Through this, i forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to blame the body/physical/substance of the fruit, vegetable, grains, nuts, seeds, the meat of animals and the body/physical/substance of the earth for making me feel bad believing that it has the power to either make me feel light or heavy - separating from them as i exist within my mind seeing the body/physical of vegetables, fruits, grains, seeds, nuts, animal meat and the earth through my mind's eyes  looking at them according to how i experience myself when i eat them  - believing that when i feel heavy when i eat cooked food i should not eat cooked food believing  it is bad for the body and that when i feel light when i eat raw food i should eat raw food because it is good for the body - not seeing and realizing that i programmed myself to feel good when i eat raw food and to feel bad when i eat cooked food using the mind to manipulate the body to feel good or bad to justify my desires


Through this, i forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to give the excuse that i have to survive so i have to feel light and happy -and that i should eat raw foods because i feel light and happy when i eat it - and not eat cooked food because it makes me feel heavy - justifying this by saying ' i have to be whole' - believing that the split was real - within this, validating my experience of me feeling light wihen i eat raw food as real  - and my experience of feeling heavy when i eat cooked food as real - believing that 'if i experience it, its got to be REAL'  not seeing and realizing that i am living the fear of feeling heavy - that i experienced when i eat cooked foods in the past  and my experience of feeling light when i eat raw foods in the past  - in the present - defining myself within memories and experiences of/as the mind - and using the mind to manipulate the body to feel how i want to feel to justify my desires -and as the mind use unnatural positive and negative energy within my mind - the body is being resourced to transform natural energy produced by the body to unnatural positive and negative energy within my mind- the evil me, giving the body nourishment and then taking those nutrients back - for me to have a positive energy experience - for the mind to exist.

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Commitment to Correction

I commit myself to when and as i see myself fearing survival 'as positive energy' - fearing to eat cooked food and desiring to eat raw food so i will feel light -  i stop - i breathe. I realized that i am the creator of my feelings and emotions and so i have to take self-responsibility to stop participating in the mind - so

I commit myself to assist myself to stabilize myself as breath before i eat - and change my starting point- from eating what i desire to eat - according to what will give me a positive energy experience to assist myself to accept and allow myself to eat seeing food as an equal - where i bring the food within myself standing equal with the food realizing that the body/physical of raw fruits, vegetables, seeds, nuts, grains etc. consist of cells that consist of atoms and the body/physical of cooked foods consist of cells that consist of atoms - equal to my body/physical which also consist of cells which consist of atoms -therefore we are equals,  so i commit myself to assist myself to accept and allow  me to eat according to what the body prefers and not what my mind prefers

I commit myself to assist myself to see that knowledge and information about food from scientific studies only discusses the structure of things and not the content as the how and the why it was created - acting as observers looking in -rather than see animals and plants as an equal, so it is for me to stop participating in  my mind and stop the noise in my mind  to 'here' (hear) what is here and see the fact that animals and plants are giving up their lives for the body to survive - so we have to stop participating in/as our mind - so we will not need to slaughter them for food nor profit.

I commit myself to assist myself to accept and allow me to develop an equal and one relationship with the body - seeing it as an equal - to through writing, self-forgiveness and self-corrective application assist myself to let go of the veil that stops me from seeing plants, animals, humans and matter as what they really are - as my equals - living this one life - assisting each other to establish a world that truly honors life based on equality.

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The Mathematics of Giving Positive and Negative Values
Vs
Giving Value Equal to Life 

I realized that i have given these mind values  to cooked food and raw food 
and other words i connected it to

'morning = feeling good = +10
morning = feeling bad = -10

Raw Food = feeling light = +10
Cooked Food =  feeling heavy = -10

Ego = feeling bad = -10
Self = feeling good = +10

Life = happiness = feeling good = +10
Death = sadness = feeling bad = -10
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Cooked noodles = feeling heavy = -10
Raw noodles = feeling light = +10
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self= feeling light = feeling good= happiness = +10
ego = feeling heavy = feeling bad = sadness = -10

wholeness = self = feeling light = feeling good = happiness = +10
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Eternal wholeness = eternal positivity = feeling light eternally = feeling good eternally = eternal happiness = Life 
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Eternal happiness = no sadness
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Past memory = present
Past memory = feeling bad eating cooked food = -10 
Present = feeling bad eating cooked food = -10

Past memory = feeling good eating raw food = +10 
Present =  feeling good eating raw food = +10
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Past memory = Future
Past memory = feeling bad eating cooked food = -10 
Future = feeling bad eating cooked food = -10

Past memory = feeling good eating raw food = +10 
Future =  feeling good eating raw food = +10'

Not realizing that the values i have given raw food and cooked food are mind values
which are not real

so instead of giving these words mind values

I am giving raw foods value equal to Life
and cooked foods value equal to Life

Raw foods = Life
Cooked Foods = Life

Realizing that 
Raw foods as raw fruits, nuts, seeds, veggies etc. consist of cells which consist of atoms 
Cooked Foods as cooked veggies, nuts, seeds etc.consist of cells which consist of atoms

Realizing that the atoms the body of humans and nature consist of 
consist of substance which all life consist of





Friday, December 7, 2012

Cooked Pumpkin Pie Mathematics: Quesy Stomach Part 6 Day 38 : Behaviour Dimension: Texture, Smell and Taste




  
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In my last blog, I wrote about the reaction dimension/layer of when i see the  pumpkin pie on the table.
In this blog, I am looking at my behavior- quesy stomach. looking away - when in front of the pumpkin pie.
 I am using elementary mathematics to show how I 'subtract value' to the pumpkin pie instead of seeing its real value as equal to Life.
I am using self-forgiveness,  writing a commitment script and moving myself breath by breath moment by moment  to correct myself  as i birth myself as equal to and one with Life.

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Behavior Dimension

Self-forgiveness

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself 

to not see how much the mind or energy

 can change the body 

with the amount of adrenalin and nervousness that my

'fear of getting fat'  

and 'fear of mushy texture'

manifest in the body 

when i see a cooked pumpkin pie

where i use the mind 

to manipulate the body

to justify my desires within blame

blaming the pumpkin pie 

for causing a quesy stomach, so looking away

not realizing it is me as the mind

connecting the texture of the pumpkin 

to the texture of feces 

connecting it to bad smell

connecting it to bad taste

'fearing a negative experience' 

activating a memory  of when i saw feces 

and 

the 'bad smell' that

i connected to garbage

which i connected to virus and bacteria

which i connected to being sick etc.

activating the characters within my mind

which originated from my 'fear of feces and fear of fat'

Fear of feces as


'fear of bad smell'
'fear of mushy texture'
'fear of no distinct shape'
 'fear of bad taste'
'fear of bacteria'
'fear of excreted body waste'
'fear of death/not existing'
'fear of sickness'
'fear of viruses'
'fear of being useless'
'fear of being helpless'
'fear of negative energy experience'


Fear of Fat as


 'fear of not being desired'
 'fear of being inferior'
'fear of not having a relationship'
 ' fear of being alone'
  'fear of being sad'
'fear of being  not having sex'
'fear of not being able to dress up and attend events'
'fear of being useless'
 'fear of being helpless'
'fear of not existing as the mind character that i believe i am'
'fear of a negative energy experience'



fears that i do not want to face
as the evil me 
fearing a negative energy experience

wanting the easy way out


running from my fears 


to rather experience a 'positive energy experience'

so looking at my desires 

as


desire to be healthy
 desire to be happy 
desire to eat tasty food
 desire for good smelling food 
desire for crunchy food 
 desire for the crispy crunchy sound
desire to survive as the mind character/personality

not realizing i am here as breath

in every moment

able to stop participating in my mind
able to face my fears and stop my desires

able to change and stand as self 
for what is best for all life
===


The Mathematics of
Giving Positive and Negative Mind Values vs  Giving Value Equal To Life

Physical Behavior:
Quesy stomach. looking away

I realized  the value i am  giving the cooked pumpkin  pie 

is a mind value which is not real

as i created it within my mind

as i connect the pumpkin pie to my fears

connecting the pumpkin pie's texture to 
 the texture of feces

giving the feces value equal to -10
(minus 1 being the least amount of negative energy experience
and -10 being the most amount of negative energy experience)

as i connect the texture of the 'pumpkin pie' to texture of feces as  'fear of feces'

(-1) fear of bad smell
(-2) fear of mushy texture
(-3) fear of bad taste
(-4) fear of bacteria
(-5) fear of excreted body waste 
(-6) fear of death
(-7) fear of sickness
(-8) fear of the virus 
(-9) fear of being useless
(-10)fear of being helpless

giving fat a value equal to -10

(minus 1 being the least amount of negative energy experience
and -10 being the most amount of negative energy experience)

as i connect the pumpkin pie to 'fear of getting fat' 

(-1) 'fear of not being desired'
(-2) 'fear of being inferior'

(-3) 'fear of not having a relationship'
(-4) ' fear of being alone'
(-5)  'fear of being sad'
(-6)  fear of being  not having sex
(-7) fear of not being able to dress up and attend events
(-8) fear of being useless
(-9)  fear of being helpless
(-10) 'fear of not existing as the mind character that i believe i am'

instead of 

giving the cooked pumpkin pie a value equal to Life

as in

Pumpkin pie = Life

as it is made of pumpkin 

which is a plant

as plants are a part of life so it has a value equal to Life

looking at the role of fat in the body

as Fat supports the physical body in maintaining temperature etc.

giving Fat a value = Life

  ===

I commit myself to when and as i see myself using the mind to manipulate the body to justify my desires within blame

I stop

I breathe

I realize that i am blaming the pumpkin pie for making my stomach quesy

in essence blaming the physical/substance

when it is me participating in my mind within fear

as the evil me resourcing substance transforming nutrients to energy

for use by the mind

So i am assisting myself to look at these fears

and accept and allow myself

 to establish an equal and one relationship with the physical body

and have real communication with/as the physical body 

to see what food it responds to

to assist the body to survive optimally