This Blog is A Continuation of this Blog::
Re: My food log May 22, 2013
I Saw the Ad in Wholefoods for a Blue Cheese Making class,
Here's what went on in my mind:
> this is a chance to taste blue cheese
>>for $5 each, we can learn how to make cheese
>>>and at the same time taste blue cheese
>>>>I have not tasted blue cheese before and i want to find out what it taste like
>>>>>I am excited
>>>>>> i know her, she's that lady who helped me find the cheese i need
>>>>>>>and she recognized me
>>>>>>>>she looks stressed
>>>>>>>>>she must have worked so hard putting up this event
>>>>>>>>>>wow they are giving us a bowl of blue cheese to taste and put with the other cheese
>>>>>>>>>>> let me taste this
>>>>>>>>>>>>those blue strains
>>>>>>>>>>>>>that's bacteria
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>I wonder if that will make me sick?
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>but let me taste it first and then find out
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>i really don't like it
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>these blue strains might do something in my stomach
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>but i have to eat because she looks she is tired from preparing all these
looking at this Mind Pattern, I saw Some Points:
*Projecting my Fear of sickness to the blue cheese
*Fear of Making the Host Angry - Desire to eat to please the host
*Fear of not being liked - Desire to eat to please the host
I will do self-forgiveness to release my fear
and a correction Script
That can guide me in what to do when presented with the same situation
In another blog i will redefine the words 'blue cheese', 'sickness'
and 'bacteria'
Fears:
Fear of sickness
Fear of the bacteria/mold
Fear of making others sad
Fear of being alone
Fear of others getting angry at me
Desire to be healthy/Not be sick
Desire to be liked
Desire for others to be pleased
Self-forgiveness
Eating Food To Please The Host When Attending an Event:
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to
participate in the design of 'fear of survival - as form - as energy'
fear not being liked
fear being alone
fear being lonely
fear of others being sad
fear of others getting angry at me
believing that if i do not do what the host would want me to do
believing that if i do not eat the blue cheese
i will be inferior to the rest of the class
believing that if i do not eat
i will upset the host
and she will get angry at me
so desiring to eat food
that the body does not need
when attending an event
eating only because i want to please the host of the event
instead of eating food the body needs
when it needs the food
to support itself to survive optimally
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to
participate in the design of 'fear of survival - as form - as bacteria - as energy'
fear that the mold in the blue cheese will
do something in my stomach
and make me sick
I commit myself to
when i see myself
and as i see myself
desiring to eat
to please the host of the event
i stop myself
and breathe through the desire
I commit myself to
when and as i see myself
fearing to eat the blue cheese
fearing sickness and death
believing the bacteria will make me sick
I stop
I breathe through the fear
I realize this is me as the mind
defining myself within a polarity
within frction and conflict
within sickness and health
fearing sickness - and desiring health
I realized that this is me as the mind
running away from my fear of sickness
my fear to the blue cheese and the mold
refusing to eat the cheese
desiring to cover it up
desiring to please the host by eating
whatever food is served
desiring to be 'one of the guys' or 'blend in'
desiring to please the host so she will not be angry at me
not realizing
this way
i live my fears
instead of stopping them
leading to a
consequence outflow
in 'my within' as the mind - as resonant stress
which leads to overeating - as i use food to remove the stress
instead of facing my fear
and in 'my without' as this world system
as fear of survival
which leads to being a workaholic
or a 'vacation - holic'
as i try to heal myself of the stress
instead of facing my fear
instead of facing my fear
and stopping my fear
I assist myself to face my fears
to instead of running away from them
and desiring something else
to cover up my fears
take me by the hand
and assist myself
to walk back
and see where this all started
unconditionally loving myself
being patient with myself
realizing that i accumulated these over time
and it will take years to sort this out
to through writing,
self-forgiveness and
changing myself in my living application
correct myself
I change my starting point
from eating to please the cook or the host/make her happy
to eating what the body needs
supporting it to survive optimally
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