Decoding The Mind of a Vegetarian: Day 72: Problem and Solution

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Store

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The Virus Free Mind

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Facebook Page

Redefining Vegetarian Cooking  Page

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Redefining Vegetarian Cooking

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Food Mathematics 

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I am in a way hacking my mind here, decrypting the codes of my mind
I am also looking at the Problem and suggesting a Solution.

Let's look at My Mind As A Vegetarian 
(Sentient: no onion, no eggs, no garlic, no onions)

Mind of a Vegetarian

>Story 1:  my grandmother was telling me that when i was young, she was so angry to see a cockroach 

>> very near me while she was watching me

>>> as I was sick and dying in the hospital

>>>> that happened when she was ' praying to God to save my life 

>>>>>at the same time imploring him to take my life and not let me suffer

>>>>>> if it was not meant for me to survive'

>>>>>>> 'I was scared to know that i was at one time in the past dying'

>Story 2:  When i was about 7 -8 yrs old, i felt weak, as i was lying down on bed

>> in the house of my grandmother, having a flu 

>>>hating the  'bad taste' of the medicine she gave me

>Story 3:  When i was in high school i was having heart pains

>>I was told by a doctor that i have 'angina', a mild form of heart disease 

>>>which the 'specialist' dismissed as 'nothing' after he tested my heart

>>>> He advised me to just play outdoors' 
>>>>> but in my mind i still had this fear of getting sick and fear of death
>>>>>>which i kept to myself suspecting that those heart pains mean that 
>>>>>>> there's something going on in my body 

>>>>>>>>which i am not aware of nor they are aware of

>>>>>Backchat: I heard the lecture
>>>>>>about yoga and meditation being able to relax the muscles
>>>>>>>i heard the heart muscles get stiff when i am stressed
>>>>>>>>so i guess relaxation techniques will release the stress                                    

>>>>>Backchat: I better learn about this diet that that they were talking about 
>>>>>>where the lecturer said that the 'sentient vegetarian diet' 
>>>>>>>a vegetarian diet without onions, garlic, mushroom and eggs
>>>>>>>>was a healthy diet 

>>>>>>>>>this is the same diet they were talking about
>>>>>>>>>>when I was invited to a sentient vegetarian dinner

>>>>>>>>>>> this can stop my heart pains 
>>>>>>>>>>>>I better try this 'sentient' cooked vegetarian diet 

>>>>>>>>>>>>>the lecture said that food like mushroom, garlic, onion, meat, fish etc. 
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>has 'negative energy' in them' 
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>and that generally it is good to eat
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>vegetables, fruits, nuts, milk, butter etc.
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>because they have positive energy in them >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>I guess that is what the guru said 
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>and it maybe it is so
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>he knows better 
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>he said he is 'taraka brahma' or god
>>>>>Backchat It is a challenge cooking a 'tasty' vegetarian diet

>>>>>>but I believe that the vegetarian diet is 'better than' a carnivorous diet
>>>>>>>because it is a 'healthy diet'

>>>>>>>>I can use vegetarian seasonings and veggie meat so it will taste good
>>>>>>>>>I am really enjoying the taste now
>>>>>>>>>>but i am still seduced by the smell of pork barbeque
>>>>>>>>>>>let me try just one
>>>>>>>>>>>>i am having a flu because i tasted that pork barbeque
>>>>>>>>>>>>>now i can say that vegetarian food is better than carnivorous food
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>because i did not have the flu when i was eating  vegetarian food
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>I will ask everyone i meet to try this diet
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>besides, this is what the yogis eat 
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>so this must be the diet of spiritual or highly evolved beings
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>the guru who is enlightened eats this food
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>this must be the best diet

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I am Questioning this Food Programming:
1. Is it possible that who i really am is not here?
2. Is my beingness trapped within this pattern?
3. Can i free my beingness from this trap?

Since my fears fuel my desires and i am driven by my desires, and essentially i am driven by my fears, is fear behind my choice of food? 

This looks like a pattern - within a program.  
This is not written in a computer language 
but it is written in a language - the English language
using words that i defined within my mind
which i gave a positive and a negative value to

Example:


Looking at the Positive and Negative Values 
I Gave the Word 'Nutrition'
By Connecting/Defining it To/Within Other Words

The Word 'Nutrition':

The word 'Nutrition' connected to the word 'superfoods':
http://foodandnutritionjunejourneytolife.blogspot.com/2012/10/the-word-nutrition-superfoods-minerals.html

Redefining the word 'Nutrition':
http://foodandnutritionjunejourneytolife.blogspot.com/2012/10/redefining-nutrition-day-18.html


Positive Energy  Experience
Eating Vegetarian Food/Meat, a Mind Pattern? 

Here, we can spot the fear.

What's The Fear?
Fear of being sick - specifically, fear of having heart pains

What is the Desire?
Desire to not get sick

What Is the Decision?
To be vegetarian

What is the Reward i get ?
No heart pains = HAPPINESS and BLISS within being pain- free


A momentary feeling that i get addicted to which i wanted to prolong to a point where it will not end. That is what life means to me which is really limited within a polarity equation. It's like existing like a battery. One minute i am full of energy and one minute i am down where i make sure i am always charged - using food, spirituality, money, relationships etc.
So, i charge my battery to full capacity to have endless happiness and endless bliss. 

Quote:

'The energy of fear takes the physical body and so ones beingness into a resonant state of stress and tension and when one move ones sound in the self-forgiveness as a gentle soft depth, assist and support with that change of energy and its consequence to self stability in the physical body... '
=
'What is fascinating about desire is also its often or frequent attachment to fear in that one will be in a desire but at the same time there will be a fear as well in how one get into that internal conflict for a moment - i want to but i don't but i can't stop myself, oh and there i go and then one give in to the particular specific desire...'

From the Interview: When Desire becomes Overwhelming 

The Problem, Solution and Reward

Decoding The Mind of a Meat Eater Day 71 Problem and Solution

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Store

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The Virus Free Mind

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Facebook Page

Redefining International Cuisine Page

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Redefining International Cuisine

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Food Mathematics 

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I am in a way hacking my mind here, decrypting the codes of my mind
I am also looking at the Problem and suggesting a Solution.

Let's look at My Mind as A Meat Eater:

http://juneroca.com/mathematics-of-life/food-mathematics/my-food-programming/my-mind-patterns/

Pattern number 1
Mind of A Meat Eater
>I accepted and allowed to be here in a body
> birthed from the merged DNA of my parents
>who chose them to be my parents?
>what if i want someone else as my parent?
>This does not make sense
>Observing my parents, i know they frown sometimes and smile sometimes
>they are talking using words that has positive and negative energies
>they like some things and not like some things
>they smile when they like something
>and shout ot get angry when they do not like something
>i smile when i like things and get angry when i do not like some things
>this is good people respond to me
>i can move this body so let me copy the tone of their voice , when and what they eat and their behavior
>I know there's something wrong in this world but i cannot tell them about it
>because they seem to enjoy themselves within all these
>i fear surviving in this world
>even if they are taking care of me
>when my mom see me crying, she comes and offers me food that i like
> she wants me to smile
>they are always cooking and eating food
>and feeding me the food they cooked
>I like the taste of these foods
>my favorite is that meat dish that tasted sweet and sour called 'humba'
>i like the fat in the pig knuckles
>it gives me this happy satisfied feeling, really delicious
>this 'humba' ( pigs knuckles in a sweet and sour sauce)
>tastes good
>when my mom ask me what i want for her to cook
> i will tell her to cook this dish
>i think life is enjoyable
>because there's good food
>that can always make me feel happy

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Who i am is not here. I am trapped within my mind. 
Since my fears fuel my desires and i am driven by my desires, essentially i am driven by my fears. This is what's behind my choice of food. 

Positive Energy  Experience Eating Meat, part of a Mind Pattern?

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>my favorite is that meat dish that tasted sweet and sour called 'humba'
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>i also like the fat in the pig knuckles
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> it gives me this happy satisfied feeling, really delicious
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>this 'humba' ( pigs knuckles in a sweet and sour sauce)
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>tastes good
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> when my mom ask me what i want for her to cook
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> i will tell her to cook this dish
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> i think life is enjoyable 
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>because there's good food 
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>that can always make me feel happy



Quote:
'...how illness sickness, disease, virus, bacteria, essentially had become physical
mini versions of the mind's systems as what the systems do unto the physical body
so essentially like the mind impulsing the physical body in terms of
turning against itself which is what bacteria, viruses, microorganisms
do that more and more evolvedwithin human civilization started doing
this...'
Interview at Eqafe

I defined myself into existence
programming myself through words spoken in the mind
creating myself through writing words, speaking words
and expressing myself through words 

In blogs to come

I will rewrite myself

To through writing, self-forgiveness  and self-corrective application 

stop sentences in the book i have written within myself  my whole life story in this book that is myself

reprogram myself
equal to and one with how i created myself 

I will redefine words and forgive myself for connecting/defining words to/within other words  relating to this diet releasing the charge i gave words through giving it a positive or a negative value
I realized that the definition i give words is the way i will view myself, others and this world.

Example:
The word 'cooked'
 http://foodandnutritionjunejourneytolife.blogspot.com/2013/02/the-word-cooked-connected-to-fat-day-70.html
The word 'raw'
http://foodandnutritionjunejourneytolife.blogspot.com/2013/02/the-word-raw-day-67-connected-to.html

Looking at the Positive and Negative Values 
I Gave the Word 'Nutrition'
By Connecting/Defining it To/Within Other Words

The Word 'Nutrition':

The word 'Nutrition' connected to the word 'superfoods':
http://foodandnutritionjunejourneytolife.blogspot.com/2012/10/the-word-nutrition-superfoods-minerals.html

Redefining the word 'Nutrition':
http://foodandnutritionjunejourneytolife.blogspot.com/2012/10/redefining-nutrition-day-18.html

Quote:

'The energy of fear takes the physical body and so ones beingness into a resonant state of stress and tension and when one move ones sound in the self-forgiveness as a gentle soft depth, assist and support with that change of energy and its consequence to self stability in the physical body... '
=
'What is fascinating about desire is also its often or frequent attachment to fear in that one will be in a desire but at the same time there will be a fear as well in how one get into that internal conflict for a moment - i want to but i don't but i can't stop myself, oh and there i go and then one give in to the particular specific desire...'

From the Interview: When Desire becomes Overwhelming 


The Problem, Solution and Reward

The Word 'Cooked' Connected to 'Fat' Day 70

Mathematics of Food

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Store

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Redefining Words
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Parenting:Perfecting The Human Race
 Words and the Baby Etc.

Part 1

Part 2

Part 3

The Word 'Cooked'

Topic: 

Releasing the energy charge and equalizing myself with the word 'cooked' 

- as who i am in relation to symbols that form words and sentences which i use to express myself here - as i birth myself as Life

Why am I Using Mathematics?

I am using mathematical symbols at the end of this post to show an example of MIND values i have given the words i connected to the word  'cooked' - which are NOT REAL  and showing the real value of words as living words.

Why am i using Self-forgiveness?
http://juneroca.com/my-process/self-forgiveness/

I am using  self-forgiveness and writing a commitment to correct myself in how i use this word in my living application 
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Self-forgiveness Statements:

Separation
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to separate myself from the word cooked through giving it a positive value
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to separate myself from the word cooked through giving it a negative value

Charging It with A Positive and a Negative Value
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to charge the word cooked with a positive value
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to charge the word cooked with a negative value
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Positive Connections/Definitions
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to connect the word cooked to the word tasty
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to define the word cooked within the word tasty

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to connect the word cooked to the word sweet
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to define the word cooked within the word sweet

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed m yself to connect the word cooked to the word delicious
I forgive myself that ih ave accepted and allowed myself to define the word cooked within the word delicious

I forgive myself that i have accepted and alowed myself to connect the word cooked to the word family
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to define the word cooked within the word family

I forgive myself that i hjve accepted and allowed myself to connect the word cooked to the word food
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to define the word cooked within the word food


Negative Connections/Definitions
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to connect the word cooked to the word unhealthy
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to define the word cooked within the word unhealthy

I forgive myself that ih ave accepted and allowed myself to connect the word cooked to the word desire
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to define the word cooked within the word desire

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to connect the word cooked to the word weight
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to define the word cooked within the word 
weight

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to connect the word cooked to the word fat
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself todefine the word cooked within the word fat

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to connect the word cooked to the word difficult
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to define the word cooked  within the word difficult

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to connect the word cooked to the word dishes
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to define the word cooked within the word dishes

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to connect the word cooked to the word time
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to define the word cooked within the word time
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Commitment to Correction Script
 
I commit myself to when and as i see myself separating from the word cooked
through giving it a positive and a negative value
I stop
I breathe 
 
I realize that giving this word a positive value
is me as the mind wanting to win
in a world of competition
where i fear to lose



I realized that giving this word a negative value is me
as the mind fearing losing 

in a world of competition
so wanting to win to survive

I commit myself to before speaking this word be clear within myself 
and use this word as an expression of who i am
realizing that 'animals' and 'plants' are words equal to the word 'human'  
realizing that the word 'cooked' is equal to the word 'raw'
as they all consist of letters as symbols that form sentences 
that i sound and write

I commit myself to show that the word 'cooked' is just a word
that i have given a positive and a negative value to

realizing it is to release myself from these mind values
and use the word equal to my expression

realizing that the key is to stop as the illusion of energy
trapped within these positive and negative definitions

It is to birth me here as who i am, what i am and how i am
living the redefined definitions of words as living words
for what is best for all


I commit myself to accept and allow me
to through my physical eyes see words as letters as symbols
to through my physical ears here ('hear')
pure sound

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Quote: '...how one will be able to use pure sound and integrate it into  a beingness physical level in equality and onesness that  self will become that word as a living remembrance of it...'
Parenting: Perfecting the Human Race Part 2 Interview by Sunette Spies  
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The Mathematics of Giving Positive and Negative Values
Vs
Giving Values Equal to Life

I realized that i have given positive and negative values
connecting/defining the word 'cooked' to/within
the following words

'Positive Connections/Definitions
tasty = +100
delicious = +100
family = +100
food =+100
 


Negative Connections/Definitions
unhealthy = -50
desire = -50
weight = -100
fat = -100
difficult =-100
time = -50
prepare  = -50
dishes = -100'

I realized that the positive and negative values i gave this word 
is a mind value that is not real

I commit myself to through writing, self-forgiveness and self-corrective application
birth myself here as who i am, what i am and how i am as pure sound and integrate into a beingness physical level in equality and oneness that self will become that word as a living remembrance of it

I commit myself to redefine the word and use it as equal to my expression

Decoding My Mind Within Food: Introduction Day 69

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Store

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The Virus Free Mind

Here i am in a way 'hacking my own mind', like decrypting the codes that make me who i believe i am - as the personality that i created when i choose to be a meat eater, raw foodist, a vegan, a vegetarian etc.

I am looking at how i programmed myself to choose what to eat

Below, is a copy of my food programming. This is composed of patterns that is a part of a program which is part of a system. 

Within this program are words that i defined within my mind. 

Words are symbols as letters that become sentences that i sound and write.
My food program is coded within my mind so i am decrypting these codes and looking at the written program using words as language. Here, i am using the English language.
What i will do is redefine some words the language the program is written in .

What i saw in my food programming is that what is driving me to choose the kind of food i  eat or not eat is fear of death, fear of sickness, fear of gaining weight, fear of not feeling good, fear of not looking good etc.  where fear and competition drives me to doubt and become uncertain of my survival in a world of inequality , where fear of survival is exploited by the media etc., as i can see in my food program that there are patterns that is predictable. so it is being exploited for profit.Why are we not using it for what is best for all life and establish a world that truly honors life based on equality?

In the blogs to come this will be answered.

I found out i choose food that will give me health and happiness, which is in a way, running away from my fears ( in 'my within' as the mind). Instead of facing my fears i run away from them which ironically make the fears persist.

'What you resist persist'

This creates an outflow, or a  consequence in 'my without', creating a system that is also driven by FEAR of SURVIVAL , where personalities also run away from their fears to desire health and happiness just like me, making myself the creator of 'my within and without' . 

The products being sold in this system we are in has one label - fear. They are being sold in the name of happiness - creating this world system.

Products are sold because people wants to survive and earn money. Money becomes a medium of  exchange -a medium of FEAR exchange.

This is causing distress in 'my within' as my mind and 'my without' as this world system which is my own creation - animating an illusion, which is the illusion of desiring happiness instead of looking at my fears within my mind. 

The positive comes from a negative. When i look at my fears, i  see my mind programming. I can decrypt the codes, forgive, correct and live life as who i am - not from a starting point of self-interest, which comes from fear of survival but from a starting point of what is best for all.

So, money becomes a medium of exchange between equals - realizing that all consist of atoms that consist substance - the substance of Life, where money is given value equal to life and animals,plants, humans and things etc. are given value equal to life. This makes living an enjoyable experience between equals - which is who we really are.

I am stopping my participation in my programmed mind design as i can see that this is a program that i created and defined within my mind as 'who i have become' which is not who i really am. I can see that this is not best for all, and essentially not best for me.

I am deconstructing the patterns  that constitute what i have accepted as my reality, deconstruct through self-forgiveness and re-construct through a commitment of correction to that which is best for all life

I will also look at the positive and negative values i gave words, forgive myself and redefine words from the starting point of who i am - as equal to all , live applying the commitment script and use the redefined words for what is best for all.


Quote:
Now, in this World – the Physical Form, in the many Variations that it is Existing, is in fact in Extreme Distress. So much so, that – if we Look at the Human Form: We have Developed a Psychology around Distress; and Every Form of Stress, we’ve Given a Particular ‘Name’.

And, we have Refused to Consider that: Distress exist, because we have Created Systems of Form, as InFORMation, as Images and Likenesses of Ourselves – or what we Like about ourselves or for ourselves – Separating each Part into Categories of Likes and Dislikes. Encrypting this Within our Self as a System, even getting this Self as a System to Speak Words In Formation, through Sentences - Sentencing us to our Convictions, so that we Remain Convicted within the Prison of ourselves, without Any Awareness Whatsoever about Life. Only having Consciousness of the Systems we’ve Created, through the Reward System that the System Produce us, which is Feelings of Energy that makes us Happy and makes us Feel Good.
So, by Following this Peculiar Existence: we seem to Not Notice, that – when things Really get Rough in the Physical, and we are in Trouble – the WE that is in Trouble is Not the Consciousness, but is the Physical Body....


We have to take down these Systems, One by One, and we have obviously an interesting thing on our side: we have Virtually an Uncountable Amount of Beings, that’s already Died throughout Time and that’s End-up in the Dimensions. You will not Believe how many there actually Exist in Existence – it is bordering on Infinity. It’s a lot.
So, ALL of them, Imagine, is working ALL the time - at Decrypting Systems. And Each System, that’s Decrypting - need to be Corrected, need to be Taken-out of its Position of Control, it Needs to be Forgiven, Understood, from All Dimension so that it cannot occur again.

http://creationsjourneytolife.blogspot.com/2013/02/day-301-encryption-of-systems-part-two.html

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In the next blog, i will identify the problem of having this programming and look at how this can have a consequential outflow that is not best for all which is essentially not best for me.

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A Copy of 

My Food Programming

START

> I was born to this world without an assurance that i will get the basic necessities i need to survive
>> I fear surviving in this world of competition and self-interest
- I cried and when my mom heard me cry, she came and fed me mother's milk

- My family fed me anything that was available for me to survive and i ate it

- I saw them cooking and eating food so i tasted it and liked the taste of it so i ate what was served on the table

- I liked meat when i was young specifically 'humba' ( pigs knuckles in a Philippine 'humba' sauce,  a dish my mother cooked for me) so i ate more of it and other foods that was given to me
- To forget my fears,  i entertained myself with food

- I heard a story where my grandmother was telling me that when i was young, she was so angry to see a cockroach very near me while she was watching me as I was sick and dying in the hospital. She said that, that happened when she was ' praying to God to save my life and at the same time imploring him to take my life and not let me suffer if it was not meant for me to survive'. 'I was scared to know that i was at one time in the past dying'

- When i was about 7 -8 yrs old, i felt weak, as i was lying down on bed in the house of my grandmother, having a flu hating the  'bad taste' of the medicine she gave me

- When i was in high school i was having heart pains - and was told by a doctor that i have 'angina', a mild form of heart disease which the 'specialist' dismissed as 'nothing' after he tested my heart. He advised me to just play outdoors' - yet in my mind i had this fear of getting sick and fear of death which i kept to myself suspecting that there's something going on in my body which i am not aware of nor they are aware of. 

- I did yoga and meditation                                         (fear of getting sick)

- I heard and read that the 'sentient vegetarian diet' (a vegetarian diet without onions, garlic, mushroom and eggs) was a healthy diet 

- I  was invited to a sentient vegetarian dinner where they were talking about health

- I had the idea that this can stop my heart pains and will stop me from getting sick

- I adopted a 'sentient' cooked vegetarian diet - believing that food like mushroom, garlic, onion, meat, fish etc.  has  'negative energy' in them' and that generally vegetables, fruits, nuts, milk, butter have positive energy in them (as the guru said so )  
- I learned how to cook a 'tasty' vegetarian diet

- I believed that the vegetarian diet is 'better than' a carnivorous diet - believing it is a 'healthy diet'

- I practiced the 'sentient vegetarian diet' for 29 years and believed the sentient vegetarian diet is  healthy and that it is the diet of spiritual people or highly evolved people

- I attended a vegan get-together and saw a film where the doctor took solidified fat inside a man's artery

- I had a fear going to the hospital - fear of being operated on, fear of pain, fear of sickness, fear of death

- I did not like the diet - as it tasted bland 

- Disregarded my fear of eating bland food because i know i can make the food taste good 

- I adopted a vegan diet                                             (fear of getting sick/ fear of death)

- I ate in a restaurant and tasted raw' tasty' food

- I researched about raw food

- I read that raw food can heal people's illnesses

- I took knowledge and information that i have heard and seen from the media as my truth 

- I learned how to make raw foods                                           (fear of getting sick) 

- I adopted a raw food diet

- It tasted good

- I 'felt good and looked good' after eating 100% raw food   (fear of not feeling good)

- I equated eating 100% raw food to 'being the best diet in the planet'
- I saw a man in youtube who survives from drinking liquids and gazing at the sun
- he looked healthy and serene 
- he was being monitored by doctors from the scientific community
- I assumed that because he was being monitored by doctors he was doing the right thing
- I got interested in sun-gazing
- I watched some videos and read some documents in the internet  
- I decided to try sun-gazing                                                      (fear of death)
-  one day, i started gazing at the sun 
- I started gazing at the sun for 10 seconds in the beginning barefooted 
- I gradually increased the amount of time i gazed at the sun 
- I felt good and happy after looking at the sun             (fear of not feeling good/happy)

- Some of my raw food friends started juice feasting

- I had a very tiny lump the size of a small bead in my right breast that is growing bigger

-I got scared
- I decided to juice feast believing it will get smaller                       

- I felt  very light

- I saw a man in a youtube video surviving just eating fruits

- My dad had an illness so i visited him one day 
- I was surprised to know that he was just eating fruits, he looked 10 years younger his age and he's healed from his illness

- I believed that the fruitarian diet healed my father 

- I believed that he looked good because he just ate vegetables

- Decided to eat only fruits                                                 (Fear of not looking good)

- I felt light,  I looked younger
- I fear that i feel too light that i will not be grounded

- I started eating raw food again

- I saw the lump getting bigger

- I felt an itchy nagging feeling inside my body

- I was diagnosed with breast cancer

- I drank herbs from the Chinese doctor  once a day and juiced fruits and herbs throughout the day                
- I tried juice feasting again so i will feel light and can deal with the itchy nagging feeling

- I was operated on 
- The nagging feeling disappeared 

- I decided to eat raw foods again

- I saw a man in a youtube video teaching personal fitness 
- he claimed he was a breatharian
 - he runs very fast
- i wondered where he's getting that energy if he's not eating

- I wanted to know if the body still has energy even when it's not getting food

- I researched about inedia and breatharianism
- I found out that there was a breatharian scientist who said that there's a cell that can survive without nutrition 
- I found out there's a conference of inedia in one University in the US where 100 attended

- I found out Lao Tzu who i traced as the proponent of 'Taoism' - is the proponent of Inedia

- I found out that he just disappeared from where he was staying riding an animal
- I connected his diappearance to 'immortality' 
- i got  interested in 'inedia'                    (Fear of not being immortal/Fear of sickness & death)

- Where i work, they started a weight loss contest

- I signed up 
- I also want to lose weight                                               (Fear of gaining weight)
- My plan is to not eat so i will be ahead in the competition
- I decided to test not eating nor drinking for 3 1/2 days   

- I started fasting without water nor food once a week and then twice a week,
- I fasted  2 1/2 days a week and then 3 1/2 consecutive days not eating nor drinking 
- I found out my body only wants to sleep for 2 hrs and has all the energy throughout the day to do what needs to be done

- I found out i can run faster when i was not eating - also feeling so light -  than when i was eating

- I was mesmerized by these new found 'feats'

- I considered myself 'special' believing that the majority of people eats food and i didn't - believing they were 'normal and i was special'

- I found out my body is beginning to adopt to not eating on the third day of the 'no water no food fast'

- I fear sickness and death - so it came up and i saw myself fearing not being able to eat for a long period of time

- I heard someone saying that breatharianism is a 'mind energetic bullshit'

- I fear continuing my fast                                             (fear of getting sick/death)

- I stopped