Solution To Overeating: 'I Have To Eat the Blue Cheese' Day 100 Facing My Fears 052213

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This Blog is A Continuation of this Blog::

http://foodandnutritionjunejourneytolife.blogspot.com/2013/05/health-coaching-me-my-food-log-may-22.html

Re: My food log May 22, 2013

I Saw the Ad in Wholefoods for a Blue Cheese Making class,

Here's what went on in my mind:

> this is a chance to taste blue cheese
>>for $5 each, we can learn how to make cheese
>>>and at the same time taste blue cheese
>>>>I have not tasted blue cheese before and i want to find out what it taste like
>>>>>I am excited
>>>>>> i know her, she's that lady who helped me find the cheese i need
>>>>>>>and she recognized me
>>>>>>>>she looks stressed
>>>>>>>>>she must have worked  so hard putting  up this event
>>>>>>>>>>wow they are giving us a bowl of blue cheese to taste and put with the other cheese
>>>>>>>>>>> let me taste this
>>>>>>>>>>>>those blue strains
>>>>>>>>>>>>>that's bacteria
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>I wonder if that will make me sick?
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>but let me taste it first and then find out
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>i really don't like it
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>these blue strains might do something in my stomach
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>but i have to eat because she looks she is tired from preparing all these

looking at this Mind Pattern, I saw Some Points:

*Projecting my Fear of sickness to the blue cheese
*Fear of Making the Host Angry - Desire to eat to please the host
*Fear of not being liked - Desire to eat to please the host

I will do self-forgiveness to release my fear
and a correction Script
That can guide me in what to do when presented with the same situation

In another blog i will redefine the words 'blue cheese', 'sickness'
and 'bacteria'

Fears:
Fear of sickness
Fear of the bacteria/mold
Fear of making others sad
Fear of being alone
Fear of others getting angry at me

Desire to be healthy/Not be sick
Desire to be liked
Desire for others to be pleased

Self-forgiveness 

Eating Food To Please The Host When Attending an Event:

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to
participate in the design of 'fear of survival - as form - as energy'

fear not being liked
fear being alone
fear being lonely
fear of others being sad
fear of others getting angry at me

believing that if i do not do what the host would want me to do
believing that if i do not eat the blue cheese
i will be inferior to the rest of the class
believing that if i do not eat
i will upset the host
and she will get angry at me

so desiring to eat food
that the body does not need
when attending an event
eating only because i want to please the host of the event
instead of eating food the body needs
when it needs the food
to support itself to survive optimally

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to
participate in the design of 'fear of survival - as form - as bacteria - as energy'

fear that the mold in the blue cheese will
do something in my stomach
and make me sick

I commit myself to
when i see myself
and as i see myself
desiring to eat
to please the host of the event
i stop myself
and breathe through the desire

I commit myself to
when and as i see myself
fearing to eat the blue cheese
fearing sickness and death
believing the bacteria will make me sick
I stop
I breathe through the fear
I realize this is me as the mind
defining myself within a polarity
within frction and conflict
within sickness and health
fearing sickness - and desiring health

I realized that this is me as the mind
running away from my fear of sickness
my fear to the blue cheese and the mold
refusing to eat the cheese

desiring to cover it up
desiring to please the host by eating
whatever food is served
desiring to be 'one of the guys' or 'blend in'
desiring to please the host so she will not be angry at me
not realizing
this way
i live my fears
instead of stopping them

leading to a
consequence outflow

in 'my within' as the mind - as resonant stress
which leads to overeating - as i use food to remove the stress
instead of facing my fear

and in 'my without' as this world system
as fear of survival
which leads to being a workaholic
or a 'vacation - holic'
as i try to heal myself of the stress
instead of facing my fear

instead of facing my fear
and stopping my fear

I assist myself to face my fears
to instead of running away from them
and desiring something else
to cover up my fears
take me by the hand
and assist myself
to walk back
and see where this all started
unconditionally loving myself
being patient with myself
realizing that i accumulated these over time
and it will take years to sort this out

to through writing,
self-forgiveness and
changing myself in my living application
correct myself

I change my starting point
from eating to please the cook or the host/make her happy
to eating what the body needs
supporting it to survive optimally

'I Have to Eat So I Will NOT Make The Host Feel Bad'' Day 99 Alone

Interview with Animals

 Decrypting Codes

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 The Virus Free Mind

I am looking at this Mind Eating Pattern:

Eating Food when attending an Event to Please The Host:

>everyone is eating
>>I have to eat even if i really don't feel like eating
>>>i don't like to spoil the event
>>>>i have to eat a little bit
>>>>>so i will not make the host feel bad

' your mind is that very system that manipulate, deceive and lie
to your very beingness to get your beingness to respond 
in a very particular specific way to the mind'  
Interview from Eqafe

This is directed by me as the mind
the alternate version of me
as who i have become

I am rewritting the patterns within myself
to through self-forgiveness, writting
and self correction in my living
birth me here as who i really am

Quote:

'The energy of fear takes the physical body and so ones beingness into a resonant state of stress and tension and when one move ones sound in the self-forgiveness as a gentle soft depth, assist and support with that change of energy and its consequence to self stability in the physical body... '
=
'What is fascinating about desire is also its often or frequent attachment to fear in that one will be in a desire but at the same time there will be a fear as well in how one get into that internal conflict for a moment - i want to but i don't but i can't stop myself, oh and there i go and then one give in to the particular specific desire...'

From the Interview: When Desire becomes Overwhelming 

==

Self-forgiveness Statements


I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to
participate in the design of 'fear of survival - as form - as energy'

fear that i will be disturbing the positive energy experience  - or happiness
experienced by everyone participating in the event or make the host feel
bad if i do not eat

believing that i have to do what everyone does
believing that if i don't i will create a negative energy experience
that will make everyone sad
believing that if i create a negative experience
they will hate me for that
believing that if they hate me
i will have no friends
believing that if i have no friends
i will be alone and lonely

not realizing i am running from my
fear of being alone
fear of having no friends
fear of others hating me
fear of making other people sad

desiring to eat because everyone is eating
to cover up my fear

the evil me being self-dishonest
instead of realizing i am here as breath in every moment
able to self-direct me here

Through this,
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to
doubt who i am
uncertain of whether i am the one desiring to please the host
or the one who is eating to assist the body to survive

perceiving that
i am split into 2
the ego and the self
the honest one or the self-dishonest one
doubting myself

instead of realizing that
my beingness is trapped
within my mind and my body
and it is to release my beingness
through writing, self-forgiveness
and self correction in my living
as per my self correction script
assisting me
to accept and allow me
to live as who i really am, how i really am and what i really am
as wholeness

Through this,
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed  myself
to blame the physical for creating
hosts that get angry when i do not eat
instead of realizing that i am the one thinking this is in my mind
so i have to take self-responsibility
to through writing, self-forgiveness and
commitment to correct myself in my living
change myself
stabilize me as breath when and as i am
attending an event
be self- honest
and eat to support my body
change my starting point
from wanting to please
to eating food to assist the body
to get the nutrition that it needs

Through this,
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to
have the excuse that i have to survive
as that personality that does not make the host feel bad
by not eating so i can make people feel good
about themselves

not realizing that people cannot realize through me
as they have an individual process to walk

not realizing
i am re-living a memory
of me hearing my mom, family and friends in the Philippines
repeating the words
'you have to eat, i made this for you, you have to eat, i will feel bad if you do not eat!'
over and over again when i was young

repeating the same pattern again and again
as the words, pictures and behaviors that constitute the memory
within my mind

Through this
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to
justify the excuse that i have to survive as the personality
that eats to please the host of the event
believing that i will be whole
to instead of displeasing the host, please the host
not realizing this is balance in polarity
where i fear not pleasing the host - so desires to please the host

instead of realizing wholeness does not require separating from the source
so does not need to unite to the source to become whole

Correcting My Relationship With The Virus Part 5 Weightloss: Day 82 Correction

        

The Mathematics of Life

Food Mathematics 

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Life Review:The Life of a Scientist

 ===

This is a continuation of this blog:

http://foodandnutritionjunejourneytolife.blogspot.com/2013/03/correcting-my-relationship-with-virus_1715.html 

In this blog, i am doing a self-correction script 

This is just like a movie script
but here, unlike a movie script

i am writing this script of which i am the actress
not separate from the director and the other actors and actresses etc.

but i am both the director and the actress
in the production of this movie
of myself  
looking at the programs and the patterns etc.
of how i created myself 

seeing what is not best for all - is essentially not best for me

So, I am rewriting myself 
to create another script that 
I am writing 
to rescript the movie
that is the book 
within myself
my whole life story

and creating
a new self that 
is not driven by the mind
but rather self-directive
one that i can trust
to stand for what is best for all life always

taking myself by the hand and walking myself 
step by step
guiding myself
in each and every step of the way

correcting myself as i live and express here
in this physical existence

correcting myself
every time i see myself participating in
thoughts, internal conversations, reactions, behavior etc. 

until all is free and Life is here forevermore.

===
I will copy the self-forgiveness statement
in the previous blog to give this blog proper context
then i will do the self-commitment script after that
===

Self-forgiveness Statement:


I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself 
to participate in the the design of/as 'fear of survival - as thickness - as texture'
 

fear being thin desiring to be in a certain weight range that had been designated as 

acceptable to be considered healthy, living and surviving
 

doubting who i am 

uncertain of whether i am the one who has texture or the one without
 

blaming the physical for creating texture
 

giving the excuse that i have to survive as a person within an acceptable weight range
 

justifying this by saying i need to be whole - and has to be within an acceptable weight range

===

Self- Correction Script

I commit myself to when and as i see myself fearing being thin 
I stop
I breathe
i realize that it is my fear of loss - fear of losing this body i am in
that is behind my fear of being thin
to rather than desire being in a certain weight range
that the scientific community accepts 
I assist myself to stabilize me as breath here
where i am stable with (within) or without a body

instead of doubting who i am - texture or no texture
assist myself to redefine
the word 'texture'
and use it equal to my expression

To instead of blaming the physical for creating texture

I assist myself to take self-responsibility and forgive myself for 

giving a positive or a negative value for the word 'texture'

To instead of having an excuse that

'i have to survive as an individual within an acceptable weight range'

assist myself to  accept and allow me to 

see through my physical eyes 

who i am as the physical/body/substance of/as all

and establish an equal and one relationship with all that is here

To through writing, self-forgiveness and self-corrective application

birth me here as who i am, what i am and how i am

To instead of justifying my fear of survival

within wanting to be in an acceptable weight range

assist myself to see that this is balance in polarity

which started from separation 

rather, see that in  wholeness

one does not have to separate from the source

Decoding The Mind of a Meat Eater Day 71 Problem and Solution

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Redefining International Cuisine

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Food Mathematics 

===

I am in a way hacking my mind here, decrypting the codes of my mind
I am also looking at the Problem and suggesting a Solution.

Let's look at My Mind as A Meat Eater:

http://juneroca.com/mathematics-of-life/food-mathematics/my-food-programming/my-mind-patterns/

Pattern number 1
Mind of A Meat Eater
>I accepted and allowed to be here in a body
> birthed from the merged DNA of my parents
>who chose them to be my parents?
>what if i want someone else as my parent?
>This does not make sense
>Observing my parents, i know they frown sometimes and smile sometimes
>they are talking using words that has positive and negative energies
>they like some things and not like some things
>they smile when they like something
>and shout ot get angry when they do not like something
>i smile when i like things and get angry when i do not like some things
>this is good people respond to me
>i can move this body so let me copy the tone of their voice , when and what they eat and their behavior
>I know there's something wrong in this world but i cannot tell them about it
>because they seem to enjoy themselves within all these
>i fear surviving in this world
>even if they are taking care of me
>when my mom see me crying, she comes and offers me food that i like
> she wants me to smile
>they are always cooking and eating food
>and feeding me the food they cooked
>I like the taste of these foods
>my favorite is that meat dish that tasted sweet and sour called 'humba'
>i like the fat in the pig knuckles
>it gives me this happy satisfied feeling, really delicious
>this 'humba' ( pigs knuckles in a sweet and sour sauce)
>tastes good
>when my mom ask me what i want for her to cook
> i will tell her to cook this dish
>i think life is enjoyable
>because there's good food
>that can always make me feel happy

===

Who i am is not here. I am trapped within my mind. 
Since my fears fuel my desires and i am driven by my desires, essentially i am driven by my fears. This is what's behind my choice of food. 

Positive Energy  Experience Eating Meat, part of a Mind Pattern?

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>my favorite is that meat dish that tasted sweet and sour called 'humba'
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>i also like the fat in the pig knuckles
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> it gives me this happy satisfied feeling, really delicious
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>this 'humba' ( pigs knuckles in a sweet and sour sauce)
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>tastes good
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> when my mom ask me what i want for her to cook
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> i will tell her to cook this dish
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> i think life is enjoyable 
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>because there's good food 
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>that can always make me feel happy



Quote:
'...how illness sickness, disease, virus, bacteria, essentially had become physical
mini versions of the mind's systems as what the systems do unto the physical body
so essentially like the mind impulsing the physical body in terms of
turning against itself which is what bacteria, viruses, microorganisms
do that more and more evolvedwithin human civilization started doing
this...'
Interview at Eqafe

I defined myself into existence
programming myself through words spoken in the mind
creating myself through writing words, speaking words
and expressing myself through words 

In blogs to come

I will rewrite myself

To through writing, self-forgiveness  and self-corrective application 

stop sentences in the book i have written within myself  my whole life story in this book that is myself

reprogram myself
equal to and one with how i created myself 

I will redefine words and forgive myself for connecting/defining words to/within other words  relating to this diet releasing the charge i gave words through giving it a positive or a negative value
I realized that the definition i give words is the way i will view myself, others and this world.

Example:
The word 'cooked'
 http://foodandnutritionjunejourneytolife.blogspot.com/2013/02/the-word-cooked-connected-to-fat-day-70.html
The word 'raw'
http://foodandnutritionjunejourneytolife.blogspot.com/2013/02/the-word-raw-day-67-connected-to.html

Looking at the Positive and Negative Values 
I Gave the Word 'Nutrition'
By Connecting/Defining it To/Within Other Words

The Word 'Nutrition':

The word 'Nutrition' connected to the word 'superfoods':
http://foodandnutritionjunejourneytolife.blogspot.com/2012/10/the-word-nutrition-superfoods-minerals.html

Redefining the word 'Nutrition':
http://foodandnutritionjunejourneytolife.blogspot.com/2012/10/redefining-nutrition-day-18.html

Quote:

'The energy of fear takes the physical body and so ones beingness into a resonant state of stress and tension and when one move ones sound in the self-forgiveness as a gentle soft depth, assist and support with that change of energy and its consequence to self stability in the physical body... '
=
'What is fascinating about desire is also its often or frequent attachment to fear in that one will be in a desire but at the same time there will be a fear as well in how one get into that internal conflict for a moment - i want to but i don't but i can't stop myself, oh and there i go and then one give in to the particular specific desire...'

From the Interview: When Desire becomes Overwhelming 


The Problem, Solution and Reward

Redefining Raw Food : Mind of a Raw Foodist: Day 51 Pattern

What i ate in the raw food restaurant:

Raw Brownie a la mode and Raw Ice Cream

About Writing/Blogging

Mathematics of Food

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Redefining Raw Food Group

===

This is how i became a 'Raw foodist'

> I ate in a restaurant and tasted raw' tasty' food

>>I researched about raw food

>>> I read that raw food can heal people's illnesses

>>>> I took knowledge and information that i have heard and seen from the media as my truth 

>>>>> I learned how to make raw foods                                                

>>>>>>I adopted a raw food diet

>>>>>>> It tasted good

>>>>>>>> I 'felt good and looked good' after eating 100% raw food
>>>>>>>>>I equated eating 100% raw food to 'being the best diet in the planet'

This is  a mind pattern. When i look at the my food programming chart at the bottom of this page, what is clear is that my Fear of Sickness and Death is directing me.

I was living the past in the present replaying a memory in my mind and re-living that memory of me - sick and in the brink of dying - and my fear of sickness and death.

To Be Continued in the coming blogs 

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A Copy of 

My Food Programming

- Memory:I was born to this world without an assurance that i will get the basic necessities i need to survive. 
- Memory: I fear surviving in this world of competition and self-interest. 
- Memory: I cried and when my mom heard me cry, she came and fed me mother's milk
- Memory: My family fed me anything that was available for me to survive and i ate it
- Memory:  I saw them cooking and eating food so i tasted it and liked the taste of it so i ate what was served on the table
- Memory: I liked meat when i was young specifically 'humba' ( pigs knuckles in a Philippine 'humba' sauce) - a dish my mother cooked for me) so i ate more of it and other foods that was given to me
- Memory: To forget my fears,  i entertained myself with food
- Memory: I heard a story where my grandmother was telling me that when i was young, she was so angry to see a cockroach very near me while she was watching me as i was sick and dying in the hospital. She said that happened when she was ' praying to God to save my life and at the same time imploring him to take my life and not let me suffer if it was not meant for me to survive'.
- Memory: when i wasabout 7 -8 yrs old, i felt weak, lying down on bed having a flu and taking  medicine that had a 'bad taste' when i was young living with my grandmother
- Memory: when i was in high school i was having heart pains -then was told by a doctor that i have 'angina', a mild form of heart disease which the 'specialist' dismissed as 'nothing' after he tested my heart and  advised me to just play outdoors' - yet in my mind i had this fear of getting sick and dying which i kept to myself
- Memory: I did yoga and meditation                                         (fear of getting sick)
- Memory: I heard and read that the 'sentient vegetarian diet' (a vegetarian diet without onions, garlic, mushroom and eggs) was a healthy diet 
- Memory: I  was invited to a sentient vegetarian dinner where they were talking about health
- Memory: I adopted a 'sentient' cooked vegetarian diet - believing that food like mushroom, garlic, onion, meat, fish etc.  has  'negative energy' in them' and that generally vegetables, fruits, nuts, milk, butter have positive energy in them (as the guru said so )  - Memory: I learned how to cook a 'tasty' vegetarian diet
- Memory: I believed that the vegetarian diet is 'better than' a carnivorous diet - believing it is a 'healthy diet'
- Memory:  I practiced the 'sentient vegetarian diet' for 29 years and believed the sentient vegetarian diet is  healthy and that it is the diet of spiritual people or highly evolved people - Memory: I attended a vegan get-together and saw a film where the doctor took solidified fat inside a man's artery
- Memory: Fear going to the hospital - fear of being operated on, fear of pain, fear of sickness, fear of death
- Memory: I did not like the diet - as it tasted bland 
- Memory: Disregarded my fear of eating bland food because i know i can make the food taste good 
- Memory: I adopted a vegan diet                                             (fear of getting sick)
- Memory: I ate in a restaurant and tasted raw' tasty' food
- Memory: I researched about raw food
- Memory: I read that raw food can heal people's illnesses
- Memory: I took knowledge and information that i have heard and seen from the media as my truth 
- Memory: I learned how to make raw foods                 (fear of getting sick) 
- Memory: I adopted a raw food diet
- Memory: It tasted good
- Memory: I 'felt good and looked good' after eating 100% raw food
- Memory: I equated eating 100% raw food to 'being the best diet in the planet'
- Memory: Some of my raw food friends started juice feasting
- Memory: I researched about juice feasting
- Memory: I read that it can remove toxins in the intestine
- Memory: I did juice feasting                                                    (fear of getting sick)
- Memory: I felt good and light
- Memory: I saw a man in a youtube video surviving just eating fruits
- Memory: My dad had an illness so i visited him one day and was surprised to know that he was just eating fruits, he looked 10 years younger his age and he's healed from his illness
- Memory: Decided to eat only fruits
- Memory: I felt light and I looked younger
- Memory: I saw a man in a youtube video teaching personal fitness and running very fast who claimed he was a breatharian
- Memory: I wanted to know if the body still has energy even when it's not getting food
- Memory: I researched about inedia and breatharianism
- Memory: I found out Lao Tzu who i traced as the proponent of 'Taoism' - is the proponent of Inedia
- Memory: I found out that he just disappeared and connected that to 'immortality'
- Memory: Where i work, they started a weightloss contest
- Memory: I decided to test not eating nor drinking for 3 1/2 days   
- Memory: I started fasting without water nor food once a week and then twice a week, 2 1/2 days a week and then 3 1/2 consecutive days not eating nor drinking    (fear of not surviving without  food and water/fear of death)
- Memory: I found out my body only wants to sleep for 2 hrs and has all the energy throughout the day to do what needs to be done
- Memory: I found out i can run faster when i was not eating - also feeling so light -  than when i was eating
- Memory: I was mesmerized by these new found 'feats'
- Memory:  I considered myself 'special' believing that the majority of people eats food and i didn't - believing they were 'normal and i was special'
- Memory: I found out my body is beginning to adopt to not eating on the third day of the 'no water no food fast'
- Memory: I fear sickness and death - so it came up and i saw myself fearing not being able to eat for a long period of time
- Memory: I heard someone saying that breatharianism is a 'mind energetic bullshit'
- Memory: I fear continuing my fast                                         (fear of getting sick/death)
- Memory: I stopped 
I am presently doing self-forgiveness for my fears and correcting myself in my living

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The Word 'Water': Connection Mathematics: Day 46

Journey To Life  Blogs  

My Food and Nutrition Blog Site:

http://foodandnutritionjunejourneytolife.blogspot.com/

STORE

The Mathematics of Life  

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Topic: 

Releasing the energy charge and equalizing myself with/as the word 'water' 

- as who i am in relation to symbols that form words and sentences which i use to express me here

Why am I Using Mathematics?

I am using mathematical symbols at the end of this post to show an example of MIND values i have given the words i connected to the word  'water' which i experienced within my mind  - which are NOT REAL  and showing the real value of words of/as living words.

Why am i using Self-forgiveness?
http://juneroca.com/my-process/self-forgiveness/

I am using  self-forgiveness and writing a commitment to correct myself in how i use this word in my living application 

===

Self-forgiveness

Separation

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to separate myself from the word water through giving it a positive value
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to separate myself from the word water through giving it a negative value

Charging the Word With Positive and Negative Values

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to charge the word water with a positive value
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to charge the word water with a negative value 

Positive Connections

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to connect the word water to the word cleanse
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to define the word water within the word cleanse

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to connect the word water to the word detox
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to define the word water within the word detox

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to connect the word water to the word body
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to define the word water within the word body

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to connect the word water to the word weightloss
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to define the word water within the word weightloss

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to connect the word water to the word rain
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to define the word water within the word rain

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to connect the word water to the word healthy
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to define the word water within the word healthy

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to connect the word water to the word beach
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to define the word water within the word beach

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to connect the word water to the word clean
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to define the word water within the word clean 

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to connect the word water to the word cook
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to define the word water within the word cook

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to connect the word water to the word baptize
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to define the word water within the word baptize

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to connect the word water to the word bath
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to define the word water within the word bath

Negative Connections

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to connect the word water to the word fear
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to define the word water within the word fear

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to connect the word water to the word dry
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to define the word water within the word dry

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to connect the word water to the word drown
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to define the word water within the word drown

I forgive myself that  i have accepted and allowed myself to connect the word water to the word thirst
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to define the word water within the word thirst

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to connect the word water to the word dirty
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to define the word water within the word dirty

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to connect the word water to the word fasting
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to define the word water within the word fasting

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to connect the word water to the word flood
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to define the word water within the word flood

===

Commitment to Correction

I commit myself to when and as i see myself 

separating from the word 'water'

through giving it a positive or a negative value

within and as my mind

I stop

I breathe

I realise that giving the word a positive value or a value that is more than life

is me as a simulated version of me looking through my mind's eyes

within my mind - fearing losing - trying to win - to survive in this world

realising that giving the word a negative value or a value less than life 

is me as the simulated version of me

within my mind

perceiving myself losing - so desiring to win to survive

Instead of seeing and realizing that i am here as breath in every moment

moving me, directing me as who i am

So i commit myself to bring myself back HERE and assist myself 

to accept and allow myself to see the physical reality as it is 

to through my physical eyes see that all of us

 consist of the same substance

therefore as equals

 living this one life

to before speaking and writing this word 

stabilize me as breath

standing clear of mind energetics - before i speak or write

and use the word as equal to my expression - as who i really am

===

The Mathematics of Giving Positive and Negative Values

Vs

Giving Value Equal to Life

I realized that i have given values to these words

and then connected them to the word 'water'

as an example

Positive values

cleanse = +100

detox = +100

                                                                                                                                                               

body = +10

weightloss = +100

rain = + 10

healthy = +100 

 beach = +100

clean = +100

cook = +100

baptize = +10

bath = +100

Negative Connections

fear = -40

dry = -10

drown = -50

thirst = -50

dirty = -20

fasting = -40

 flood = -80

Instead of realising that these values are NOT REAL

as i made them up in my mind

and it is

to realise that the value of a word is equal to who i am

as how i use it in my written and spoken expression

living it - as equal to/as sound - as equal to/as Life