The Paranoia of Eating Healthy Part 1: Introduction day 113

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Parenting:Perfecting The Human Race

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5

Introduction

In this series, I am investigating the 'ins and outs' of 'eating healthy' and the role the mind plays in this, where one comes to a point of paranoia. I will reference my life journey  to show how i created this paranoia and 'i will take you with me'.in my journey to life. 

I lived based on my beliefs about food.

In a paranoia state, i went from eating meat, to eating cooked vegetarian food, to eating cooked vegan food, to eating raw food,  to feeding from the sun's energy/being a sungazer, to being a juice feaster, to beaing a fruitarian, being a raw foodist again, to investigating breatharianism /not eating nor drinking.

I came to a point where i asked myself, 'If eating is good, then not eating cannot be good', and if not eating is good, then eating cannot be good. Am i missing something?'

I will be looking at this question in the coming blogs.

Through this series i will open up how i lived these beliefs.

Before i investigated breatharianism, i was diagnosed with cancer.

I opted not to take chemotherapy and radiation at that time for a reason and here's the link to my story,

Cancer Cure: My Story

 http://juneroca.com/2013/05/26/cancer-cure-my-story/

Cancer Cure: Questions and Answers

http://juneroca.com/2013/05/28/cancer-cure-questions-and-answers/

Cancer Cure: Life To Death To Life

http://juneroca.com/2013/05/29/cancer-cure-life-to-death-to-life/

1 year after that, my oncologist said i was clear.

This was when I started to really look and investigate how i created this paranoia of eating healthy in 'my within' as the mind, how i created cancer and how i created this paranoia of eating healthy in 'my without' as this world system.

In the posts  to come,'i will take you with me' as i walk back into how and why this all started and 'together', we will investigate eating healthy, look at the problem, the solution, and how we can stop this paranoia that is spreading like wildfire in our society.

I suggest to click the 'join this site' button at the side of this blog to receive the updates.  

Redefining Fruitarianism: The Mind of a Fruitarian Day 62

Mathematics of Food

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Store

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Facebook Page

Redefining Raw Food Page

Facebook Group

Redefining Raw Food Group

This is Why I Started a  'Fruitarian' Diet
Memory of what happened:

>Memory: I saw a man in a youtube video surviving just eating fruits

>>Memory: My dad had an illness so i visited him one day and was surprised to know that he was just eating fruits, he looked 10 years younger his age and he's healed from his illness

>>>I believed that the fruitarian diet healed my father 

>>>> I believed that he looked good because he just ate vegetables

>>>>>Memory: Decided to eat only fruits

>>>>>>Memory: I felt light,  I looked younger

This is a  mind pattern.   When i look at how i programmed myself within food what is clear is that my 'fear of survival and fear of sickness/death' is directing me in my choice of food

Note: have a look below - what you see is a copy of how i programmed myself as the mind in relation to food. 

To Be Continued in the coming blogs 

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A Copy of 

My Food Programming

START

- I was born to this world without an assurance that i will get the basic necessities i need to survive
- I fear surviving in this world of competition and self-interest
- I cried and when my mom heard me cry, she came and fed me mother's milk

- My family fed me anything that was available for me to survive and i ate it

- I saw them cooking and eating food so i tasted it and liked the taste of it so i ate what was served on the table

- I liked meat when i was young specifically 'humba' ( pigs knuckles in a Philippine 'humba' sauce,  a dish my mother cooked for me) so i ate more of it and other foods that was given to me
- To forget my fears,  i entertained myself with food

- I heard a story where my grandmother was telling me that when i was young, she was so angry to see a cockroach very near me while she was watching me as I was sick and dying in the hospital. She said that, that happened when she was ' praying to God to save my life and at the same time imploring him to take my life and not let me suffer if it was not meant for me to survive'. 'I was scared to know that i was at one time in the past dying'

- When i was about 7 -8 yrs old, i felt weak, as i was lying down on bed in the house of my grandmother, having a flu hating the  'bad taste' of the medicine she gave me

- When i was in high school i was having heart pains - and was told by a doctor that i have 'angina', a mild form of heart disease which the 'specialist' dismissed as 'nothing' after he tested my heart. He advised me to just play outdoors' - yet in my mind i had this fear of getting sick and fear of death which i kept to myself suspecting that there's something going on in my body which i am not aware of nor they are aware of. 

- I did yoga and meditation                                         (fear of getting sick)

- I heard and read that the 'sentient vegetarian diet' (a vegetarian diet without onions, garlic, mushroom and eggs) was a healthy diet 

- I  was invited to a sentient vegetarian dinner where they were talking about health

- I had the idea that this can stop my heart pains and will stop me from getting sick

- I adopted a 'sentient' cooked vegetarian diet - believing that food like mushroom, garlic, onion, meat, fish etc.  has  'negative energy' in them' and that generally vegetables, fruits, nuts, milk, butter have positive energy in them (as the guru said so )  
- I learned how to cook a 'tasty' vegetarian diet

- I believed that the vegetarian diet is 'better than' a carnivorous diet - believing it is a 'healthy diet'

- I practiced the 'sentient vegetarian diet' for 29 years and believed the sentient vegetarian diet is  healthy and that it is the diet of spiritual people or highly evolved people

- I attended a vegan get-together and saw a film where the doctor took solidified fat inside a man's artery

- I had a fear going to the hospital - fear of being operated on, fear of pain, fear of sickness, fear of death

- I did not like the diet - as it tasted bland 

- Disregarded my fear of eating bland food because i know i can make the food taste good 

- I adopted a vegan diet                                             (fear of getting sick/ fear of death)

- I ate in a restaurant and tasted raw' tasty' food

- I researched about raw food

- I read that raw food can heal people's illnesses

- I took knowledge and information that i have heard and seen from the media as my truth 

- I learned how to make raw foods                 (fear of getting sick) 

- I adopted a raw food diet

- It tasted good

- I 'felt good and looked good' after eating 100% raw food

- I equated eating 100% raw food to 'being the best diet in the planet'

- Some of my raw food friends started juice feasting

- I had a very tiny lump the size of a small bead in my right breast that is growing bigger

-I got scared
- I decided to juice feast believing it will get smaller                       

- I felt  very light

- I saw a man in a youtube video surviving just eating fruits

- My dad had an illness so i visited him one day 
- I was surprised to know that he was just eating fruits, he looked 10 years younger his age and he's healed from his illness

- I believed that the fruitarian diet healed my father 

- I believed that he looked good because he just ate vegetables

- Decided to eat only fruits                                       (Fear of looking bad/not looking good)

- I felt light,  I looked younger
- I fear that i feel too light that i will not be grounded

- I started eating raw food again

- I saw the lump getting bigger

- I felt an itchy nagging feeling inside my body

- I was diagnosed with breast cancer

- I drank herbs from the Chinese doctor  once a day and juiced fruits and herbs throughout the day                           

- I tried juice feasting again so i will feel light and can deal with the itchy nagging feeling

- I was operated on 
- The nagging feeling disappeared 

- I decided to eat raw foods again

- I saw a man in a youtube video teaching personal fitness and running very fast who claimed he was a breatharian

- I wanted to know if the body still has energy even when it's not getting food

- I researched about inedia and breatharianism

- I found out Lao Tzu who i traced as the proponent of 'Taoism' - is the proponent of Inedia

- I found out that he just disappeared from where he was staying riding an animal
- I connected his diappearance to 'immortality' 
- i got  interested in 'inedia'                    (Fear of not being immortal/Fear of sickness & death)

- Where i work, they started a weight loss contest

- I signed up 
- I also want to lose weight                    (Fear of gaining weight)
- My plan is to not eat so i will be ahead in the competition
- I decided to test not eating nor drinking for 3 1/2 days   

- I started fasting without water nor food once a week and then twice a week,
- I fasted  2 1/2 days a week and then 3 1/2 consecutive days not eating nor drinking 
- I found out my body only wants to sleep for 2 hrs and has all the energy throughout the day to do what needs to be done

- I found out i can run faster when i was not eating - also feeling so light -  than when i was eating

- I was mesmerized by these new found 'feats'

- I considered myself 'special' believing that the majority of people eats food and i didn't - believing they were 'normal and i was special'

- I found out my body is beginning to adopt to not eating on the third day of the 'no water no food fast'

- I fear sickness and death - so it came up and i saw myself fearing not being able to eat for a long period of time

- I heard someone saying that breatharianism is a 'mind energetic bullshit'

- I fear continuing my fast                                         (fear of getting sick/death)

- I stopped

The Mathematics of The Sweet Smelling Feces Day 60

Topic: Feces 

Why I Use Mathematics?

I am using mathematical symbols to show that the mind values i have given the word 

'feces'  are  not real and illustrate how giving values equal to life to all that is here is commonsensical.

Why am i using Self-forgiveness?

http://juneroca.com/my-process/self-forgiveness/

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I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself

to participate in the design of/as 'fear of survival - as form/body/physical'

where i do not like the mushy texture of feces 

seeing it as undefined

and its smell - being foul

fear the mushy texture and smell of feces believing that having no texture

is equal to not having a body/physical

fearing not having a body/physical

which is me fearing death

connecting the bad smell of feces

to the bad smell of a garbage can

Through this,

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to

doubt who i am

uncertain of whether i will live or die

believing that mushy texture of my feces

means i  am having diarrhea

connecting diarrhea to sickness and feeling weak

connecting feeling weak to death

believing that living things have a definition

and dead things have no definition as they lose their

body/physical when they die

which i equated to the dust of the earth

that has no shape nor definition

connecting that to sameness

desiring definitive texture as i can distinguish the difference

between one and the other

believing that when things have difinitive shape and definition

they exist and when they don't they don't exist

i can connect it to other memories of other shapes and definitions

that will give me a way to imagine about things i see

through my mind's eyes

so i can evolve me as the mind

extending my imagination of people, things etc. within/as my mind

not seeing what is really here as this physical existence

and all the dimensions of it as what is real

Through this

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to

blame the physical/substance within spite

believing that the mushy texture of feces is bad

and assign that a value less than life

believing that the foul smell of feces is bad

and assign that a value less than life

believing that definitive shapes of feces

when i do not have diarrhea

which is neither mushy nor hard - but just right

indicate good health - and is a positive energy experience

believing that very hard feces such as when i have constipation

indicate bad health - and is a negative energy experiences

assigning feces with definitive shapes which is neither too hard nor too soft

a value more than life

assigning feces which is mushy a value less than life

and assigning feces with definitive shape

with very hard texture, dry, crumbly and not having enough moisture

with a value less than life

and so have the excuse that i have to survive

as a human having feces with definitive shape, having enough moisture

which is neither mushy nor hard in texture

therefore a definitive shape of feces is good

as i defined health and living as having this shape and texture of feces

believing my feces smells sweet when i am in a fruitarian diet

connecting sweet smelling feces with health

believing that my fart smells sweet when i only eat fruits

believing that fruitarianism is good because my feces smells sweet

believing that when i am eating meat

my feces smells foul and very hard

and my farts smell bad

believing that having very little shit (very tiny) 

when i am not eating is bad because it means i will not shit

which i connected to not being alive

believing that all living people shit

believing that dead people do not shit 

believing i might die when i do not shit

also believing that i am special when i do not shit

because normal people shit 

believing that when i do not eat, fart, shit 

i will be superhuman

believing that when i do not eat 

and the body wants to sleep only for 2 hours

i am special

justifying all these by saying i have to be complete and whole

where my idea of wholeness is a mind wholeness

which is based on self-interest

and not what is best for all

as when i participate in either mind polarity

i am in fact taking nourishment from the body 

where natural energy produced by the cells

is being resourced and tranformed into unnatural energy

for use in my mind 

so the mind can exist

Through this

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to justify giving positive or negative mind values to the feces within being whole

believing there is something wrong with some foods and the feces my body produce

after i eat them 

rather than seeing and realizing it is me within my mind creating this illusion 

and then animating these illusions as if they're real 

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Self-Commitment 

I commit myself to when and as i see myself fearing dying when 

the texture of my feces is hard or mushy

I stop - I breathe

I realize that it is me that's giving positive and negative values to feces

thinking, imagining, reacting etc. 

not seeing and realizing that the feces come from animals and plants i ate

which comes from the earth equal to who i am as the dust of the earth.

I commit myself to flagpoint myself when i enter the bathroom

and stabilize me as breath here and assist myself to accept and allow me to 

see that foul odour and the sight of the feces - mushy or hard or just right 

is me seeing the feces through my mind's eyes which is one dimensional seeing 

rather than see the feces through my physical mind's eyes and see the interdimensionality of it - seeing its function - and its role in this existence within what is best for all.

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The Mathematics of Giving Positive and Negative Vaues

Vs

Giving Value Equal to Life

I realized that i gave mind values to the feces 

as the following:

mushy texture of feces = bad = negative = -10

foul smell of feces = bad = negative = -50

feces not mushy nor hard = just right texture and shape = healthy =  no sickness and no death = good = positive = +100

feces that has a definitive texture but very hard = pain in the anus = not healthy = sickness = bad = negative energy experience = -50

feces that has definitive shape not mushy nor hard = good = health = positive  = +10

feces with mushy texture  = bad = weakness = sickness = negative = -50

health = feces with definitive shape and enough moisture/texture = good = positive = +10

Fruitarianism = feces that smell  sweet = sweet smell of fruits = good = positive = +100

Eating Meat = feces that smells foul = foul smell of corpses = bad = negative = - 100

not eating and drinking = little shit = bad = not normal = negative = -

not eating and drinking = little shit = good = special = positive = +

not eating and drinking = special

not farting = special

having tiny shit = special

not eating and drinking + not farting + having tiny shit +2 hrs sleep 

 = superhuman = + 1, 000, 000

Where from this, i formed a MIND CONCLUSION 

that is based on Fuzzy Logic:

                                                           

Eating Fruit

                           

                                                                              +100

Eating Animal Meat

                                                  -100

              Not Eating Nor Drinking

                                                                         +1000000    

  Not seeing and realizing these are mind values

i made up in my mind that are not real

which i animate in the physical

which comes from FEAR of not surviving as a body/form

which is Fear of death and sickness

driving me to chose what food to eat

Not seeing and realizing that

 the feces's value equals Life 

as it comes from animals and plants whose value equals Life

Not seeing that the fart's value equals Life

as it is gas being released from the body 

which comes from eating animals and plants

whose value equals Life

and that gas being a state of matter = Life

gas is in the atmosphere = Life

                                    

What i am going to do is acknowledge that 

the mind values i gave were imagined mind values 

to through self-forgiveness and self-correction

 i can release the positive or negative charge

 i gave the words 

and give all a value equal to Life

Quote:

'When one is dealing with the mind, one can show mathematical equations but when one step into the realm of birthing oneself as life - no more equations exist.' ED