The Paranoia of Eating Healthy Part 1: Introduction day 113

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Introduction

In this series, I am investigating the 'ins and outs' of 'eating healthy' and the role the mind plays in this, where one comes to a point of paranoia. I will reference my life journey  to show how i created this paranoia and 'i will take you with me'.in my journey to life. 

I lived based on my beliefs about food.

In a paranoia state, i went from eating meat, to eating cooked vegetarian food, to eating cooked vegan food, to eating raw food,  to feeding from the sun's energy/being a sungazer, to being a juice feaster, to beaing a fruitarian, being a raw foodist again, to investigating breatharianism /not eating nor drinking.

I came to a point where i asked myself, 'If eating is good, then not eating cannot be good', and if not eating is good, then eating cannot be good. Am i missing something?'

I will be looking at this question in the coming blogs.

Through this series i will open up how i lived these beliefs.

Before i investigated breatharianism, i was diagnosed with cancer.

I opted not to take chemotherapy and radiation at that time for a reason and here's the link to my story,

Cancer Cure: My Story

 http://juneroca.com/2013/05/26/cancer-cure-my-story/

Cancer Cure: Questions and Answers

http://juneroca.com/2013/05/28/cancer-cure-questions-and-answers/

Cancer Cure: Life To Death To Life

http://juneroca.com/2013/05/29/cancer-cure-life-to-death-to-life/

1 year after that, my oncologist said i was clear.

This was when I started to really look and investigate how i created this paranoia of eating healthy in 'my within' as the mind, how i created cancer and how i created this paranoia of eating healthy in 'my without' as this world system.

In the posts  to come,'i will take you with me' as i walk back into how and why this all started and 'together', we will investigate eating healthy, look at the problem, the solution, and how we can stop this paranoia that is spreading like wildfire in our society.

I suggest to click the 'join this site' button at the side of this blog to receive the updates.  

Decoding The Mind of a 2x RawFoodist: Cancer Day 96

                                                                                          

Redefining Raw Food  Page

Website

Redefining  Raw Food

Food Mathematics 

FREE INTERVIEW with the SNAIL

Interview with Animals

 Decrypting Codes

Store
 The Virus Free Mind

===

Cancer Cures

In my past blogs i was decoding my mind as a meat eater
cooked vegetarian, cooked vegan, raw foodist, sungazer/liquidarian,

a juice feaster, and a fruitarian

I am in a way hacking my mind
decrypting the codes of my mind

When i looked at my food programming timeline
I saw repeating patterns

Let's look at My Mind As A Recovering Raw Foodist

I will bring my memories back here of when i became a Raw Vegan

(August 2008) and look at it:

Pattern Number 8
Mind of a 2x Raw Foodist

>I started eating raw foods again

>>but the lump in my breast is getting bigger

>>>there's an itchy nagging feeling inside my body

>>>> let me see the doctor even if i do not believe in them, for the lump to be examined

>>>>>because it grew very big

>>>>>>he said i have breast cancer according to the mamogram and tests

>>>>>>>can i die? i have too many things i have to do - i cannot die 

>>>>>>>>but just in case i die, what will happen to me, go and talk to the portal? I don't know

>>>>>>>>>i felt i need another diet that is lighter than raw foods

>>>>>>>>>>so i can deal with the burning, nagging, itchy sensation in my body

I defined myself into existence
programming myself through words spoken in the mind
creating myself through writing words, speaking words
and expressing myself through words

In blogs to come

I will rewrite myself

To through writing, self-forgiveness  and self-corrective application 

stop sentences in the book i have written within myself
my whole life story in this book that is myself

I am reprogramming myself
equal to and one with how i created myself

Note: Desires are fuelled by fears. The 'positive' comes from the 'negative'

Let's look at 
Fear 1: fear of having cancer                    
Desire 1: to be diagnosed that i do not have cancer -to be healthy

Fear 2:dying                                                
Desire 2: to live

Fear 3: fear of doctors                                
Desire 3: to not go to the doctor, not to be operated on

Fear 4: not knowing what happens          
Desire 4: to know what happens after death
 after death 
                                                         

Fear 5: the nagging itchy feeling persist  
Desire 5: stop the nagging burning itchy feeling                                                       

       

Fear 6: Raw food  is heavy                          
Desire 6: to be feeling light trying out Juicing

Fear 7: that i will be dizzy if i continue      
Desire 7: to eat raw food

being a fruitarian

Let's look at My Beliefs:

Belief 1: raw food is heavy and Juicing is light

Belief 2: that i can get away from the consequence outflow of what i accept and allow

Belief 3: i have option or choice 

Belief 4: that i am separate from cancer and that it is my enemy because it causes me to suffer

Belief 5: that fruitarianism makes me dizzy and that when i eat raw foods i will not be dizzy

Belief 6: that dizziness is caused by eating fruits

Quote:

' your mind is that very system that manipulate, deceive and lie
to your very beingness to get your beingness to respond
in a very particular specific way to the mind'
Interview from Eqafe

What Is the Decision i made?
To be a  raw foodist again and then to be a juice feaster

What is the'Momentary' Reward i get ?
'Happiness' within thinking that if i do this or become a raw foodist  again i will minimize my chances of being dizzy - and then becoming a juice feaster again, i will feel lighter and will be able to think clearer.

A momentary feeling that makes  me feel that i did something to deal with the problem and that i provided a solution - an idea of a  relief, within balance in polarity

I ask myself these questions:
1. Is my beingness trapped within this pattern (at the beginning at the blog)?
2. Can i free my beingness from this trap?

To See the Problem and Solution 

follow the link, Problem Solution Reward

Quote:

'The energy of fear takes the physical body and so ones beingness into a resonant state of stress and tension and when one move ones sound in the self-forgiveness as a gentle soft depth, assist and support with that change of energy and its consequence to self stability in the physical body... '
=
'What is fascinating about desire is also its often or frequent attachment to fear in that one will be in a desire but at the same time there will be a fear as well in how one get into that internal conflict for a moment - i want to but i don't but i can't stop myself, oh and there i go and then one give in to the particular specific desire...'

From the Interview: When Desire becomes Overwhelming 

Decoding The Mind of a Juice Feaster: Day 86: Juicing: Desire to Look Young

                                                      

Facebook Page

Redefining Raw Food  Page

Website

Redefining  Raw Food

Food Mathematics 

===

FREE INTERVIEW with the SNAIL

Interview with Animals

 Decrypting Codes

Store
 The Virus Free Mind

===

In my past blogs i was decoding my mind as a meat eater

cooked vegetarian, cooked vegan, raw foodist and sungazer/liquidarian

I am in a way hacking my mind

decrypting the codes of my mind

When i looked at my food programming timeline

I saw repeating patterns

Let's look at My Mind As One Who  Juice Feasts

(one surviving on juice)

I will bring my memories back here of when i was juice feasting (surviving on juice) 

and look at it:

Pattern Number 6

The Mind of One Who Juice Feasts:

> My raw food friends started juice feasting

>>i have this very tiny lump the size of a small bead in my right breast is growing bigger

>>>can this be a tumor?

>>>> No, this is nothing

>>>>>this can really be a tumor

>>>>>>I am scared, but i shouldn't be

>>>>>>>this will go away if i take healthy food

>>>>>>>>these are just toxins 

>>>>>>>>>maybe coming from me eating cooked food sometimes 

>>>>>>>>>>when i should be eating 100% raw foods

>>>>>>>>>>>I should have just stick to 100% raw food diet

>>>>>>>>>>>>then i will never get sick 

>>>>>>>>>>>>>i have to detoxify

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>i have read that juicing can detoxify the system

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>they are juice feasting so i should juice feast with the people in the internet

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>it is very difficult to just take juice because my body will feel so hungry

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>and crave solid food

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>but this lump is getting bigger

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>I better not think about this

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>this is nothing really, tomorrow this will be gone

>>>>>Backchat: I will look really young when i juice feast

>>>>>>and get rid of the small lump

>>>>>>>that will be really good

>>>>>>>>but what if it does not stop growing and it becomes breast cancer?

>>>>>>>>>It will not

>>>>>>>>>>just be positive

>>>>>Backchat: I crave solid food

>>>>>>This juice feasting is tough

>>>>>>>maybe i will just do smoothies

>>>>>>>>they are more tasty 

>>>>>>>>>and there's more variation i can do too

>>>>>>>>>>it is still in liquid form so it's okay

===

This looks like a pattern - within a program

I defined myself into existence
programming myself through words spoken in the mind
creating myself through writing words, speaking words
and expressing myself through words 

In blogs to come

I will rewrite myself

To through writing, self-forgiveness  and self-corrective application 

stop sentences in the book i have written within myself 
my whole life story in this book that is myself

I am reprogramming myself
equal to and one with how i created myself

Note: Desires are fuelled by fears. The 'positive' comes from the 'negative'

Let's look at 
Fear 1: being sick                                             Desire 1: to be healthy 
Fear 2: looking ugly and old                        Desire 2: to look young
Fear 3: suffering, pain                                    Desire 3: have a happy life

Fear 4: negativity                                            Desire 2: to be positive

Let's look at My Beliefs:

Belief 1: one will be healthy and will stop getting sick if one eats healthy

Belief 2: juices and smoothies are better than solid food because digestion of food is less 

and so the body has more time to expel toxins
Belief 3: i will look young when i juice feast because my body will have more energy from 

less digestion going on in my bodyBelief 4: When i think positive it will manifest in the physical reality 

Belief 5: lumps in the body comes from toxins

Quote:

' your mind is that very system that manipulate, deceive and lie
to your very beingness to get your beingness to respond 
in a very particular specific way to the mind'  
Interview from Eqafe

What Is the Decision i made?
To do juice feasting

What is the'Momentary' Reward i get ?
'Happiness' within living a healthy life - looking good and feeling good
and not getting sick/not going to the hospital

A momentary feeling that i get addicted to which i wanted to prolong to a point where it will not end. That is my limited idea of what life means, existing within a polarity equation.

It's like existing like a battery. One minute i am full of energy and one minute i am down where i make sure i am always charged - using food, spirituality, money, relationships etc.
So, i charge my battery to full capacity to have endless happiness and endless bliss. 

I ask myself these questions:
1. Is my beingness trapped within this pattern?
2.  Can i free my beingness from this trap?

To See the Problem and the Solution, follow the link, Problem Solution Reward

Quote:

'The energy of fear takes the physical body and so ones beingness into a resonant state of stress and tension and when one move ones sound in the self-forgiveness as a gentle soft depth, assist and support with that change of energy and its consequence to self stability in the physical body... '
=
'What is fascinating about desire is also its often or frequent attachment to fear in that one will be in a desire but at the same time there will be a fear as well in how one get into that internal conflict for a moment - i want to but i don't but i can't stop myself, oh and there i go and then one give in to the particular specific desire...'

From the Interview: When Desire becomes Overwhelming 
===

Redefining Juice Feasting: The Mind of a Juice Feaster: Day 61 Breast Cancer

Mathematics of Food

===

Store

===

Facebook Page

Redefining Raw Food Page

Facebook Group

Redefining Raw Food Group

This is Why I Started 'Juicing'
Memory of what happened:

>Memory: Some of my raw food friends started juice feasting
>> Memory: I had a very tiny lump the size of a small bead in my right breast that is growing bigger
>>> Memory: I got scared
>>>>Memory: I decided to juice feast believing it will get smaller

>>>>>> Memory: I felt very light

===
 I tried eating fruits (see my food programming below)
===
>> Memory: I saw the lump getting bigger
>>>Memory: I felt an itchy nagging feeling inside my body
>>>>Memory: I was diagnosed with breast cancer
>>>>>Memory: I drank herbs from the Chinese doctor  once a day and juiced fruits and herbs throughout the day                            
>>>>>>I tried juice feasting again so i will feel light and can deal with the itchy nagging feeling
>>>>>>>I was operated on 
===
I ate raw foods again (see my food programming below)

===

These are mind patterns .   When i look at how i programmed myself within food what is clear is that my 'fear of survival and fear of sickness/death' is directing me in my choice of food

Note: have a look below - what you see is a copy of how i programmed myself as the mind in relation to food. 

To Be Continued in the coming blogs 

===

A Copy of 

My Food Programming

START

- I was born to this world without an assurance that i will get the basic necessities i need to survive
- I fear surviving in this world of competition and self-interest
- I cried and when my mom heard me cry, she came and fed me mother's milk

- My family fed me anything that was available for me to survive and i ate it

- I saw them cooking and eating food so i tasted it and liked the taste of it so i ate what was served on the table

- I liked meat when i was young specifically 'humba' ( pigs knuckles in a Philippine 'humba' sauce,  a dish my mother cooked for me) so i ate more of it and other foods that was given to me
- To forget my fears,  i entertained myself with food

- I heard a story where my grandmother was telling me that when i was young, she was so angry to see a cockroach very near me while she was watching me as I was sick and dying in the hospital. She said that, that happened when she was ' praying to God to save my life and at the same time imploring him to take my life and not let me suffer if it was not meant for me to survive'. 'I was scared to know that i was at one time in the past dying'

- When i was about 7 -8 yrs old, i felt weak, as i was lying down on bed in the house of my grandmother, having a flu hating the  'bad taste' of the medicine she gave me

- When i was in high school i was having heart pains - and was told by a doctor that i have 'angina', a mild form of heart disease which the 'specialist' dismissed as 'nothing' after he tested my heart. He advised me to just play outdoors' - yet in my mind i had this fear of getting sick and fear of death which i kept to myself suspecting that there's something going on in my body which i am not aware of nor they are aware of. 

- I did yoga and meditation                                         (fear of getting sick)

- I heard and read that the 'sentient vegetarian diet' (a vegetarian diet without onions, garlic, mushroom and eggs) was a healthy diet 

- I  was invited to a sentient vegetarian dinner where they were talking about health

- I had the idea that this can stop my heart pains and will stop me from getting sick

- I adopted a 'sentient' cooked vegetarian diet - believing that food like mushroom, garlic, onion, meat, fish etc.  has  'negative energy' in them' and that generally vegetables, fruits, nuts, milk, butter have positive energy in them (as the guru said so )  
- I learned how to cook a 'tasty' vegetarian diet

- I believed that the vegetarian diet is 'better than' a carnivorous diet - believing it is a 'healthy diet'

- I practiced the 'sentient vegetarian diet' for 29 years and believed the sentient vegetarian diet is  healthy and that it is the diet of spiritual people or highly evolved people

- I attended a vegan get-together and saw a film where the doctor took solidified fat inside a man's artery

- I had a fear going to the hospital - fear of being operated on, fear of pain, fear of sickness, fear of death

- I did not like the diet - as it tasted bland 

- Disregarded my fear of eating bland food because i know i can make the food taste good 

- I adopted a vegan diet                                             (fear of getting sick/ fear of death)

- I ate in a restaurant and tasted raw' tasty' food

- I researched about raw food

- I read that raw food can heal people's illnesses

- I took knowledge and information that i have heard and seen from the media as my truth 

- I learned how to make raw foods                 (fear of getting sick) 

- I adopted a raw food diet

- It tasted good

- I 'felt good and looked good' after eating 100% raw food

- I equated eating 100% raw food to 'being the best diet in the planet'

- Some of my raw food friends started juice feasting

- I had a very tiny lump the size of a small bead in my right breast that is growing bigger

-I got scared
- I decided to juice feast believing it will get smaller                       

- I felt  very light

- I saw a man in a youtube video surviving just eating fruits

- My dad had an illness so i visited him one day 
- I was surprised to know that he was just eating fruits, he looked 10 years younger his age and he's healed from his illness

- I believed that the fruitarian diet healed my father 

- I believed that he looked good because he just ate vegetables

- Decided to eat only fruits                                       (Fear of looking bad/not looking good)

- I felt light,  I looked younger
- I fear that i feel too light that i will not be grounded

- I started eating raw food again

- I saw the lump getting bigger

- I felt an itchy nagging feeling inside my body

- I was diagnosed with breast cancer

- I drank herbs from the Chinese doctor  once a day and juiced fruits and herbs throughout the day                           

- I tried juice feasting again so i will feel light and can deal with the itchy nagging feeling

- I was operated on 
- The nagging feeling disappeared 

- I decided to eat raw foods again

- I saw a man in a youtube video teaching personal fitness and running very fast who claimed he was a breatharian

- I wanted to know if the body still has energy even when it's not getting food

- I researched about inedia and breatharianism

- I found out Lao Tzu who i traced as the proponent of 'Taoism' - is the proponent of Inedia

- I found out that he just disappeared from where he was staying riding an animal
- I connected his diappearance to 'immortality' 
- i got  interested in 'inedia'                    (Fear of not being immortal/Fear of sickness & death)

- Where i work, they started a weight loss contest

- I signed up 
- I also want to lose weight                    (Fear of gaining weight)
- My plan is to not eat so i will be ahead in the competition
- I decided to test not eating nor drinking for 3 1/2 days   

- I started fasting without water nor food once a week and then twice a week,
- I fasted  2 1/2 days a week and then 3 1/2 consecutive days not eating nor drinking 
- I found out my body only wants to sleep for 2 hrs and has all the energy throughout the day to do what needs to be done

- I found out i can run faster when i was not eating - also feeling so light -  than when i was eating

- I was mesmerized by these new found 'feats'

- I considered myself 'special' believing that the majority of people eats food and i didn't - believing they were 'normal and i was special'

- I found out my body is beginning to adopt to not eating on the third day of the 'no water no food fast'

- I fear sickness and death - so it came up and i saw myself fearing not being able to eat for a long period of time

- I heard someone saying that breatharianism is a 'mind energetic bullshit'

- I fear continuing my fast                                         (fear of getting sick/death)

- I stopped