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Eating Wheat Noodles
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to when i eat wheat noodles create a relationship of fear to fat - believing the information and knowledge i have heard and seen and accepted that as my truth - 'unaware' of what is here as who i am as the creator of my 'within and without' -where from this relationship with fat - of fear - i have created the 'weightloss diets' in this world - as the weightloss industry ( which is about money and profit) - as my 'without' as this industry is composed of individuals like me who fear getting fat and those who owns businesses that provides a so -called solution - that promises one to be thin - is earning money or making profit from this very fear that i am participating in - within/as my mind - so creating this very system from my fear of being fat
I commit myself to when and as i see myself eating wheat noodles and fearing being fat - i stop - i breathe. I change my starting point to instead of fearing being fat - i write about my fear and ask myself the question, 'is this what i want to be as who i am as the creator of my 'within and without'? Creating fear within my mind and creating an industry based on that same fear in my 'without' - as i see realize and understand that this can be stopped as i created this within my mind - so assist myself in writing, self-forgiveness and commit to correction in my moment to moment application - and face my fear - to align my expression of who i am 'within and without' to what is best for all - and to assist in establishing a world that truly honors life based on equality - where animals and plants are not slaughtered for food and profit
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to when i eat cooked wheat noodles, like 'Pancit' or 'Chow Mien/Lo Mien' i have these thoughts run through/within me :
'These noodles are tasty'
- where i go within my mind thinking these thoughts- transforming the substance//body to energy for the mind to exist - instead of seeing the wheat noodles as what it is - as food to sustain my body - made of the same substance the physical/body is made of - the body of nature is made of - the animal's body is made of, the plant's body is made of.
I commit myself to when and as i see myself having thoughts about the noodles being tasty, getting a positive energy experience in eating the noodles- i stop - and breathe and assist myself to see that i am here as breath moment by moment - and assist myself to release the beliefs i have about what taste is and accept and allow myself to see how the body responds to the food and assist myself to establish a real physical relationship with/as the body.===
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to imagine a picture of me having difficulty to move - face with double chin, stomach bulging out of eating the noodles - and judge myself as fat and ugly within that imagination - and then fearing the picture - not realizing that i put the picture there
I commit myself to when and as i see myself imagining a picture within/as my mind of how i would look when i eat the wheat noodles - within a picture of a woman who has difficulty of moving because of fat restricting her movement - in my head - i stop - i breath - to instead of imagining an alternate version of me within my mind - which is an alternate reality that is separate from what is here as physical reality - i bring myself back here - to see what is here as the physical/body/substance as flesh as blood
I commit myself to through writing, self-forgiveness and self-corrective application - stop the memories as pictures, fears, desires etc. within myself and let go of the separation within myself and stand with the body in every breath that i take.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to, when i have the thought ,and the imagination, extend this to an internal conversation within my mind, 'This will make me fat, i will just eat a little bit, no one knows i promised myself to just eat a little bit, so i can eat all of this, it taste good'
- using words within my mind separate from me and abusing the use of words - in an alternate reality as the alternate version of me - i stop and breathe. I realized that i am judging the wheat noodles based from knowledge and information which i heard or seen from tv, my relatives, friends or the internet which i accepted as my truth, forming a relationship with it within my mind - according to how i experience it - to instead of going within my mind - in my head - where i know that when i do that the the mind needs energy to survive and that energy has to come from the body - where substance is being resourced and transformed to energy for the mind to survive/exist - where the very sustenance i give the body when i eat - gets transformed into mind energy - where as i fear, and refuse to look at the fear - and desire happiness - i create a friction ( a polarity manifestation, + and - ) that transforms substance to energy.
I commit myself to when and as i see myself having internal conversations within my mind when eating wheat noodles - i stop i breathe - to instead of having internal conversations within my mind using words in separation of me - i redefine the words wheat and noodles and use it as equal to my expression and through writing, self-forgiveness and self corrective application release myself from my beliefs about what the wheat noodles can give me or not give me as the mind - so i can or cannot feel good and look good and stop seeking a 'positive energy experience' out of eating it - and instead be here aware of me as breath assisting myself to accept and allow me to communicate with/as the body in what sustenance it needs to survive and being able to 'hear' here.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to evolve this 'fear of being fat' and animate characters from emotions and feelings, where i have feelings of happiness to see the wheat noodles on the table, smelling the aroma which i connect to satisfaction and being full and connecting the texture of the noodles to threads of happiness i can play with inside my tongue - and give pleasure to me within my mind and accepting and allowing myself to get a 'positive energy experience' from eating it and then accept and allow myself to after eating it feel guilty eating it when i know i decided not to eat it (based on my beliefs of what will make me fat and what will not make me fat) - within that blaming myself for eating it - when instead of doing that, i can look at what is here, as the physical/body - and look at the common sense that it is made from same substance the physical/body of nature, the earth, plants, animals etc.is made of and eat from that starting point where the physical/substance/ body will not be resourced and transform to energy as what is best for all.
I commit myself to when and as i see myself reacting to the wheat noodles, fearing it, desiring to eat it , being guilty of eating it, blaming myself etc.- i stop - i breathe and instead of reacting, to assist myself to eat in awareness of who i am when i eat wheat noodles - as equal to the body/physical - equal to the body/physical of nature, the earth, plants, animals etc.-slow myself down when eating, assisting myself to be aware of me breath by breath, moment by moment - accepting and allowing myself to see how the body respond to the food i am giving it.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to use my mind to manipulate the body to justify my desires where i use the mind to manipulate my neck:
- as in, my neck extending as i eat the noodles to stretch the noodles to release it from the rest of the noodles - within me seeking a 'positive energy experience' from eating it - as i extend my neck to release the a noodle strand from the rest of the noodles - playing - to cover up the sadness that i experience within me from the awareness that i am completely diregarding life - pretending to be 'unaware' that i did not take self-responsibility - when all the while i am 'aware' of what i did within/as my mind - disreagrding all parts of me in separation of me - which i did within an alternate reality within /as my mind - where no one will know, no one will see the evil that is lurking within the inner recesses of my mind, only interested in making myself 'happy' - disreagrding the equal real agreement that exist between all parts of life - as all of me - to live as equals - and instead took more for me leaving less for others- just doing what will make me happy
I commit myself to when and as i see myself using my mind to manipulate my body when eating wheat noodles - where my neck is extending as i eat the noodles to stretch it - to get a 'positive energetic experience' from it- i stop - i breathe and change my starting point from covering up the fear and then desiring happiness from eating the wheat noodles - to bring myself back here and assist and accept and allow myself to see the body/physical as equal to my expression - to see the wheat noodles as equal to my expression - eat in awareness of me - looking at how the body responds to the food and to through writing, self-forgiveness and self-corrective application - assist myself to equalise with/as all parts of me as life.
I forgive myself that i haven't accepted and allowed myself to see realise and understand the extent of consequence of having fear of being fat - where the body is being resourced and transformed to energy when i think, i imagine, react, have a backchat etc. - 'within' and as my mind - depriving the body of the nutrients it needs to survive so the mind can exist - and create the weightloss industry as my 'without' and other industries created to cater for people wanting to 'look good and feel good'
I commit myself to assist and support me to stop my preoccupation with fear of being fat and establish self-awareness of me as i participate in reality and stop the excuse of me wanting to look good and feel good being a valid reason for fear of being fat - because i can hide behind the fear being fat but how can i hide from me - i will eventually take self-responsibility for me and -so commit to face me here - and instead of deciding for the body within my mind - assist myself to develop a physical relationship with the body - as eventually it is the body that is going to communicate with me what sustenance it needs to survive - assisting in establishing a world that truly honors life - based on equality - where plants and animals will not be sold for food and profit - until we do not have to kill to survive.